Getting used to the new you....
Ok, so I am not allowed to walk yet, but I DID get my water in, and I did move some... only Postop day 6 so still on the "slow and easy" track.
My kids are here with me now in Louisiana, since I got out of the hospital. We're going to be here until March 20, and we're doing great And it's been fun having them around.... I hadn't noticed how tired I really was with the overeating. And how often I was too tired to just enjoy them being around me.
I did well with sticking to my clear liquids up until yesterday, but yesterday I finally caved and had a protein drink (EAS low carb, silver box) even though I am supposed to wait 2 more days for protein. I just couldn't go one more day with nothing but flavored waters (sf Jello, chicken broth, water, watered down juice) while cooking for the family (8 ppl here atm with me and kiddos). SO I've been healing amazingly well and decided I was ready to move into something more substantial... not solids yet, but at least a thicker liquid
Yesterday was my first round with head hunger. It's not so bad to be around others eating... I finally understand the "head hunger" that postops talk about... it's just weird... I am not physically hungry, but my head sees others eating a food that is familiar to me as tasty, so I want it... does that make sense? I don't need it, I am not hungry at all. But I think about it, and then I want it. It's amazing how many times I would have "just one bite" before and didn't notice that I managed to do it so often that I ate MUCH more than I realized I did. I'm very conscious now of the "just one bite" because I'm afraid solids would get stuck and not pass my new little pouchie. As I fixed dinner for the family (they'd all been working construction all day and were exhausted) it amazed me how simple it was making the dinner and all, but JUST when it was serving time, and the kids were served I had to give up. I finally blurted "Ok serve yourselves, I gotta get away from it before I start" and the family was great, very understanding. I sat down with my chicken broth (found some seasoned, garlic added) MMMM MMM Delicious!
I feel like I have su*****redible energy and feel such a relief that I am happier and I think I am kinder to the people around me. I guess it's more about me being less unhappy with myself (and therefore the world), but I couldn't even begin to explain the joy I feel... and I don't even know if I've lost anything yet. No scale here to compare myself on. My clothes are stretchy clothes so I can't tell by them either. It's just about how positive everything has suddenly become... I no longer feel like an out of control mess... yanno?
What a beautiful post!!! Wow...that is such a great expression of your feelings and I am looking forward to feeling like that. I understand i think the head hunger already as I ate a HUGE meal yesterday and got in my car to drive some more and wanted some more food. UGH!
Thank you for sharing this...its helps a lot!
Rita
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