It's starting to hit home.........

Well.....as I left work today it kindof hit hard that I'm really going to be having surgery on the 21st (Tuesday)--I'm taking Monday off from work, but I'm still going to school Monday night. I'm getting anxious now that it's coming down to the day. Those questions are starting to creep in--like....Am I going to be able to do this? My sister has turned out not to be a big supporter in this. That has really bummed me out. Has anyone else had any of this issues? I've got all these things running around in my head--and I'm feeling a little blue this evening. Tamara 3/21/05 (4 days to go)

Tamara, It's a big step, and you are perfectly normal in these feelings. I hope you feel better and that your surgery goes well. I was happy to be busy until the last minute; it did keep my mind busy! Take care--I'll be thinking of you! Phyllis

Thanks Phyllis for the encouragement. My mind has been positive for so many months that it surprised me coming up with those feelings I had so strongly yesterday. I believe it was mostly mourning what I was not getting from my family. But then after a good nights sleep and wonderfully supportive unconditionally loving husband.....it's all coming back into perspective. I appreciate your response and look forward many more conversations! Thanks again! Tamara 3/21/06

Hi Tamara. I'm so sorry you are feeling blue tonight! I want to let you know that you CAN do this! It's completely normal to question your decision and have anxiety about the surgery. It's especially tough if you have family that is not supportive. I experienced the same thing. I finally had a conversation with myself about who I was having the surgery for. This surgery was for me. Fortunately, my family (all of them) will benefit from my losing weight. I am a wonderful wife, daughter and sister now. But I will be even more wonderful after I get control of my weight and lifestyle habits. Plus, I will be around a lot longer! I will be thinking of you. Stay positive and remember that you are worth it! -Stephanie

Hi Stephanie~~you are a doll! Your words re-affirmed my very thoughts--This surgery is for me--it will benefit all that my life touches. I am a wonderful wife daughter and sister now, also--I guess my family believes that will all change after I have this surgery--I suppose that is what hurts the most. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your encouraging response--it means more than you will ever know. Truly. Tamara

Tamara, so happy that a good night's sleep and a supportive hubby lifted your spirits! I'm also happy to lend an encouraging ear whenever you need it. Change is hard for some families. It will be interesting to see how my family dynamics change when I am no longer "the fat one" in the family. I think that's what is scariest for some of them. As for me, I'm just plan excited for that change! I'll be thinking of you as you have a smooth surgery and a speedy recovery! - Stephanie

Oops, that's PLAIN excited rather than PLAN excited! Of course, I PLAN to be excited as well!

My friends have been great big supporters of me in the process to decide to have the surgery. My family has been another matter. My surgery is scheduled for March 29, 2006, lap RNY. I am 32 years old, single, a little under 5'5", and weigh around 280. My sister has apperantly told one or two of her friends that she wishes I would "do something else" to loose weight, although she is fairly supportive when face to face. She is not excited for me the way my friends are, but she is pleasant about it. My dad has gone out of his way to keep his mouth shut about it. He just wants me to be happy, but thinks this is a very drastic thing to do, and he doesn't want to see me get hurt. He is a fairly short, overweight man who has knee troubles and heart troubles. He knows the road of obesity well and the health problems that await me if I continue life the size I am. My mom is the one who seems to have the hardest time with me having the surgery. She says I am "messing with God's handiwork". Ultimately, she wants what is best for me, but she hates it that I am fat, and she hates it when I try to change that. I have been on various diets, like everyone on this site, and each time my mom struggles with it. I dunno if she feels guilty like it is her fault I am fat, or what the deal is. She needs to feel completely absolved of any responsibility for me having this surgery. She has told me that she is afraid that all my joy will be gone after I have the surgery. She thinks the only thing in life that brings me pleasure is food, and that this surgery will take away my pleasure and hence my life. I kinda think of it as my life is going to go places I never dreamed of. I think it is going to be an amazing transformation. I think I will one day jump out of an airplane (something I dare not try at my current size). I am excited about the upcoming surgery. I read "Before & After" by Susan Maria Leach this weekend. I want my mom to read it. She talks a lot about how much she enjoys food after the surgery. She talks lot about how much JOY she has now. I hope that things work out with your sister. I wish you all the best. Please keep us posted on your success.