I am posting anonymously because I can't have my name attached to it
Okay, you all know me and I don't want my name attached to this thread on the web so I'm not saying who I am. I have a problem. Ever since I started to become more normal sized and started getting a lot of attention from other men, I have been enjoying it. I wear clothes that are snug and show off my curves, shirts that are a little too low cut on top and cute heels. A little over a year ago I became friends with a man and even though I am married, I enjoyed his attention and he was very handsome. Is very handsome. I began cheating with him. Since then there have been two others and the first one is still around as well as another that is occassional. I don't know how to handle these feelings, I've never had them before! I never, ever thought that this would be me. I could never imagine being "that" girl and yet here I am. It isn't that I don't appreciate what I have with my husband, I just get such a thrill out of teasing and getting (if I choose to) these men. Please don't hate me. I don't know who else to talk to. Everyone in my real life would FREAK OUT and I know that I should be freaking out too with guilt but I'm sad to say that the guilt isn't even felt anymore.
Hi there,
First of all my perspective is obviously from a male, but I think I can understand some of these feelings. I was obese my whole life so I never had the normal dating relationships when I grew up. I was fortunate that at the age of 28 someone that I worked with and became friends with had her husband leave her. (I know that sounds terrible, but it was good for me). I don't know that I would have found someone to share my life with if she hadn't been 40 years old and had two daughters to raise. I gladly stepped into the role to "save" them. I guess I took advantage of her bad situation.
Would my life have been different if I had been normal sized all along? I think so. Would I have had a larger pool of prospective mates if there were more women that could look past my size to see me? I think so. Do I regret the choices I made in my life? No. Next week we celebrate our 20th anniversary. Have we had problems? Yes.
Since loosing the weight I have felt the excitement of being noticed by females. I guess while being excited it was also scary. I wasn't used to it. I made a concious choice to not stray within my marriage. Would it have been exciting to have a little something on the side? Maybe
I want you to know that I certainly don't hate you for the choices you have made. While it may be exciting I think it probably also puts you under a major amount of stress. You are the only person that can decided if the choices you make are the right ones for you and if you are willing to live with the consequences that these choices may bring. I hope you choose the path that brings you true happiness for the long run and not just the excitement of today.
I'm sorry I don't have much advice, I can understand a lot of what you have said and I'm glad you reached out to your cyber friends. I hope you hear from other women so you can get their perspective.
If you think I can be helpful to you in anyway, you are welcome to send me a private message. I will not judge you.
Take care, and I am sending you a platonic hug (just kidding).
Rick
First of all my perspective is obviously from a male, but I think I can understand some of these feelings. I was obese my whole life so I never had the normal dating relationships when I grew up. I was fortunate that at the age of 28 someone that I worked with and became friends with had her husband leave her. (I know that sounds terrible, but it was good for me). I don't know that I would have found someone to share my life with if she hadn't been 40 years old and had two daughters to raise. I gladly stepped into the role to "save" them. I guess I took advantage of her bad situation.
Would my life have been different if I had been normal sized all along? I think so. Would I have had a larger pool of prospective mates if there were more women that could look past my size to see me? I think so. Do I regret the choices I made in my life? No. Next week we celebrate our 20th anniversary. Have we had problems? Yes.
Since loosing the weight I have felt the excitement of being noticed by females. I guess while being excited it was also scary. I wasn't used to it. I made a concious choice to not stray within my marriage. Would it have been exciting to have a little something on the side? Maybe
I want you to know that I certainly don't hate you for the choices you have made. While it may be exciting I think it probably also puts you under a major amount of stress. You are the only person that can decided if the choices you make are the right ones for you and if you are willing to live with the consequences that these choices may bring. I hope you choose the path that brings you true happiness for the long run and not just the excitement of today.
I'm sorry I don't have much advice, I can understand a lot of what you have said and I'm glad you reached out to your cyber friends. I hope you hear from other women so you can get their perspective.
If you think I can be helpful to you in anyway, you are welcome to send me a private message. I will not judge you.
Take care, and I am sending you a platonic hug (just kidding).
Rick
HAHA! You can hug but no ass grabbing! Thank you for your perspective. I know that the consequences could be catastrophic. My world and the world of those around me would turn upside down if I were caught. I don't know why I am doing this despite the huge risks. In the rest of my life I am a very responsible and fairly conservative person but there is something about that thrill that gets me going. I can see how people turn to alcohol because I imagine that it is the same sort of instant gratification that I feel. I am looking at our thoughts on the screen and thinking first about my shock that I put this out there and secondly about how immature and selfish I am being.
I don't know you and only accidentally ended up on this board. I hope that I can help you. If I can figure out how to sign this anonymously I will, if not, it really doesn't matter. I went through similar situations, but I did not cheat on my husband. Not trying to sound morally superior here, I just didn't. I am not being judgmental at all. I am a well trained , seasoned psychiatric professional and I think you need to see someone to help you overcome these feelings. You feel giddy and pretty for the first time. I know. People are telling you that you look great and you like it. It feels like a real thrill and a high. It will not last. You are tying your self esteem to your looks as much as you did before you lost weight. Being heavy makes you feel sad and hurt. You feel vindicated that you really were a good and attractive person the whole time you were fat and now you have the proof. The fact of the matter is the lowlife *******s that wouldn't look at you twice when you were heavy are now panting down your neck. Trust me I've been there. I have gained back some weight and am now taking it off again, but I was you. Guys I worked with who had made snide remarks behind my back were now trying to get me in the sack. Stop and think, honey. Please, if your relationship is one you want to save then you need to step up. Never forget that your husband chose you when you didn't feel worthy. It is unfair to both of you to destroy your lives for these highs. You need to find another outlet. On the other hand, are you truly happy? You need to decide if your marriage was just you settling because you could,'NT do better . If so, you maybe you're trying unconsciously to sabotage your marriage so that you will find a way out. If after soul searching this is the case, it is only fair to both of you to end it and find a happier life. One way or the other, you need to find someone to talk to. A therapist, a friend, or clergy. Just find help. I hope this is useful, Good luck, I am saying a little prayer for you now. I decided that my family was worth more than the high I got from flirting. I will never regret that decision. You; however, need to do what is best for you.
Most Active
Recent Topics
