Find out who your friends are

I have a "friend" that I really enjoy.She is a very large person,which isn't the problem. She loves to eat (who doesn't?) The problem is that it seems like "eat" is more reason to get together than just being together. She signed up for a circuit training that I was involved in,thinking we could do it together. She always "couldn"t today". She loves to meet for lunch,and would daily, but I won't do that. She gets depressed by her appearance...and eats. She is excited about something...and eats. I can do this to myself. I KNOW exactly where she is and how she feels and I want to help her. I enjoy her company,but it sabbotages any effort I make to lose weight. This is a friend I cannot spend a lot of time with-around meal time. There will always be well-meaning ,loving people trying to get you to "just try a little bite". The "little bites" add up.Each of you have worked so hard to get to where you are...and stay there. Does it mean to only be friends with slim,healthy people? No,enjoy your friends,warts and all. And stay strong..."no" and "no thank you" are empowering words...use them often. Thanks for listening-Irene

Unfortunately, my own mother is like this to some extent. I'm glad we live on opposite ends of the east coast. I only see her a couple of times a year. I think it is difficult for her to understand my new relationship with food. My whole family has always been large and food is such a huge part of getting together. "No thank you" is a phrase I use often. She also has a problem when we go out for dinner. I order whatever I feel like eating and I often leave half of it on my plate. Sometimes, horror of horrors, I don't even take the leftovers home. Eating out is about socializing and letting someone else do the work. It's not about cleaning my plate!!! Thanks for the reminder to stay strong even in the face of friends, or family members, who want to feed you! Hugs, Stephanie

I have friends like this. They tell me I am no fun anymore since my surgery. Oh well they are stil my friends we just go shopping now. I have enjoyed your posts. MJ

They've mentioned this problem at our support group with people. I notice I dont go out to eat as often with friends, but we're still friends all the same. Some suggestions they've mentioned in meetings are to meet at a park or a track and walk instead of meeting at a restaurant and eating. maybe talk to these people on the phone more than in person if they're friends you only meet at restaurants with or pick a healthy place to eat at like a salad bar that serves healthy choices. We have a restaurant here in Mass called Know Fat. They have a great menu that has things like brown rice with veggies and grilled meats. Places like that are great because even when you're sitting there looking at a menu you cant order junk because its not there