Here's a question for you.

Is it just me, or does anyone else walking around calling themselves fat all the time?? I'll look in the mirror and say to myself, look how fat you are. Or I think during the day, I'm so fat. Someone will say to me, Hi skinny (those who knew me before surgery, brother has said this a few times) and I'll think to myself, or comment I'm not skinny, I'm fat. Geez, I never at 350 lbs called myself fat, or thought of myself as a fat person. I knew I was fat, big etc. But I was me, and I was ok overall with me, I didn't low self esteem, I was proud of the way i took care of myself etc. But now all I can think about is how fat I am and that I need to lose more weight. I will sometimes walk by my reflection and think to myself. Hmmm, I'm not that big, I'm kind of normal size, I'm not fat. Why can't i see it all the time? Or at least see me as how I am? I hate to say it, but yes I am still fat. I'm not thin by far. But I guess I do look pretty decent, normal, acceptable to society, not looked upon as obese. But I can't help but thinking that people are looking at me and seeing a fat person. And, I now view myself most of the time as fat. UGH, does this surgery make you insane? I'm thinking so!! LOL Don't mind me, just the ramblings of a woman losing her mind I think.

Ruth Ann, you're not losing your mind. My husband took pictures of me with our cats in front of the tree the other day. All I could think of was how fat I looked in those photos. I don't know if it was the way I was sitting or what. But I think I look fat in them. I never used the word fat to describe myself either at 350 pounds. I never used obese or other descriptive words. What's weird is that I'm still classified as obese now and I use that word all the time to describe myself. Why is that??? I'm certainly less obese at 201 pounds than I was at 350. Why is it okay to call myself obese now, but it wasn't at 350??? Other times, I look in the mirror and think I might be getting near to a normal size. If you figure out the answer to this issue, please let me know!!!! I'd love to have some insight! By the way, I certainly don't see a fat person when I look at pictures of you! For some reason, "fat" images seem to reside only in our own minds. Hugs, Stephanie

Ruth Ann, First of all, I'm glad to see you back with us. Secondly, All I see with both of you two beautiful woman. I don't see you as being fat or obese. Maybe I feel as though I have seen the person within you, but even if I hadn't I would still consider both of you attractive women. Okay, enough deserved flattery, now I have to go tell my wife that she is the fairest of them all. Glad to have you back Ruth Ann, Merry Christmas, Rick P.S. if you look back at a few of the older posts you will see that you were mentioned as one of the ones for the "Women of March" calander.

I expect no matter how 'skinny' we may ultimately get..we will probably always think of ourselves as fat. It has been a life long habit and it won't be easy to break. Since I am the oldest of the MARCHers..in my lifetime I will probably never think differently. But I have spent many years trying to do things that brought happiness to others and myself by doing them and I don't seem to beat myself up lingering on my body appearance. Psychological ploy I guess! We aren't yet even 2 years out and only a few months for some people at being at goal and some of us are not at goal and it will take time I expect to change our perceptions of ourselves. So glad to see one of our MARCHer "calendar girls" on the boards again. We have all missed you. I really need you to get me fired up for more exercise. I was on a roll when you were posting before and your were so helpful! Hugs to the ramblings of a woman losing her mind and her body (in a good way)!!!! Barbara

you are not alone. I was complaining yesterday about how fat I was. I had a pair of cords on that were too big but I swear when I sat down I saw my old big thighs and huge stomach. My mom took me to red lobster and I was afraid I could not fit in the booth they seated us because I felt so fat. I am thinking I might seek some theraphy next year because I see some head issues that I am devloping that are scaring me. happy holidays! mj

OMG....I swear i just wrote this....If I hear one more time you are so skinny I am going to SCREAM!!!! Mainly because I am just a tad skinnier now then I was in highschool...in highschool I weighed 167 and wore a 9 I was the fat girl..today i weigh 155 wear a size 7/9 and I am skinny... how is that even possible? have they even seen these huge legs of mine? i still can not wear a pair of boots because my calf's are so big. I found the cutest pants the other day and my sister insisted i buy them beause she knew I loved them...you can get in them...yeah ok they are size 4! and sure enough I could just zip them but couldn't hook them...she's like well when you have that skin taken off they will fit great...ok I know in my head the fact that i can even squeeze my butt into a 4 says i am average..but all i saw was i couldn't hook the darn things. I knew I was big when I weighed 300+ pounds but I knew who I was too and I liked me...now All I see is some chick everyone knows use to be fat and she took teh easy way out andnow look at all that skin hanigng off her...Ik now having this was a good thing...but wow who knew we'd have so many mental issues to go with it...anyone got a xanax LOL!!! love you guys!