Marcher's are you feeling blue??

I think many of us may be going through a little bit of depression associated with our weight loss. We have all made great progress, but now that we are nearing or at our goal there may be a feeling of emptiness. What was all of this effort really for anyway? As we have gone on this journey we have had a lot of recognition for the results we have achieved. Now that we have stabilized at a more normal size, people don't give us the compliments that were once lavished upon us. The attention can be intoxicating. We desire more praise for our accomplishments. Some of us may feel that the reality we have experienced is far removed from the one we envisioned. There is a sense that the grass is always greener on the other side. We must learn to be content and happy with the "new" you. I am a strong believer in support group meetings. I attend a meeting once a month and it helps to keep me grounded. It is important to discuss issues with others that have gone through the same thing. We can learn from other people's experience. It is easy to feel alone and helpless, but if we open up to others we find that we can work our way through any difficulties. If you think you might be suffering from depression there is no shame in asking for help. There are many professional services available to help us through this process. I use this forum to help me with issues as they arise. I have learned a great deal from each of you and I encourage us to help each other whenever we can. I hope you all have a great weekend and know that I am here if I can be of help to any of you. Life is great, Rick

You know Rick - the other day I was talking to someone in my office about my 18 month surgeon's visit last week and I told her I still had about 40 pounds to lose, but I had lost 145 already. Her comment was...."I forgot you ever weighed that much - it just doesn't seem like you were an entire person bigger". I guess I take it as a compliment because I think she was one person who "loved" me like I was and saw the good in me and even though she saw the "fat" in me - she really didn't seem to judge me by that. But then again I could be wrong! I guess the upside to no more compliments on how good you look - is there are not snide comments..."Mommy, look at the fat lady"...or the looks of digust by strangers on the street. I have always been a pretty up beat person my entire life despite some of the adversities I have had to endure - with my parents, my retarded sister, a bad marriage - but then I have had so many good things to balance out the bad things - 5 beautiful children and step-children, 3 grandchildren, a wonderful 2nd husband and now this excellent health status and weight loss. I consider myself very lucky. So my hope for those you do suffer from depression - please get help and kick it early to make yourself happier. Thank you for being here for all of us....Barbara

Barbara, I think all that really matters in life is where you are now. You have come through a lot, buy now you are on top of your world. Our past makes us what we are now. There have been many stressful times in my past, but they make me the person I am now. Hopefully I have more empathy for those that also have difficulties in their lives. We are not perfect, but as long as we are working on those areas of our lives that need work we are still in the game. You are truly an inspiration to all of us. Happy hugs to you. Rick

Rick, depression is one of those things that can rear its ugly head at anytime. I know that I have good days and bad days with regard to my self esteem and my general mental health. For me, it is a process. It took me a while to undertand that not every process is completed. Sometimes the process occurs over your entire life. It's just like weight loss. Once you reach a goal, even your final goal, there is still maintenance. It never really ends. That was hard for me to accept for a long time. I thought I could start the process with this surgery and that it would have a stop date. Nope, there is not a stop date for me. I'll be working on this one for the rest of my life. I'm okay with that. Finally! I'm very much a cross things off my list kind of person. It took a while for me to understand that it's okay to have some things that are always on the list. I hope you have a great weekend. Thanks for all of your posts this week! Hugs, Stephanie

Stephanie, You are very right, this is a life long process. We just have taken steps to make it easier and more enjoyable. We have better health on our side and that makes everthing easier. I agree with out about being a list maker. It gives such great satisfaction to be able to cross something off from your list. I also know that the list will always have stuff left on it. I'm glad it does. If everthing gets crossed off, then what is left to live for? I have lots of lists and not all of them are on paper. I have adventures I have yet to take. I look forward to the challenges and unexpected happiness in the future. Have a great weekend, Rick

Well, I've posted about my struggles with this before, about adjusting to this "new person" that I am. Being fat my whole life, its been my identity. But that was just the tip of the iceburg for me (with my "new life"). Because in the midst of my weight loss, I moved to another state, and quit working. I always identified myself as the "fat teacher" Now I'm a "normal housewife". I always focused on every one else's needs, for years, it was a way of redeeming myself as a person, because I thought no one could love me just for me, because I'm fat Now I don't need to redeem myself anymore, which is good, but its been a difficult adjustment. I'm doing much better though. Its starting to sink in, that I have this beautiful home in this beautiful forest, a husband who loves me enough to support me and I don't have to work, and I'm free most days to do as I please. Do I even deserve this?? Maybe...

Rebecca, Isn't is great to be a "normal housewife". It is great that you can focus on yourself. You are doing great on this road to the new you. It is so great that you have a supportive husband and you have the time to do as you please. YES you do deserve this. You can have everything you have ever dreamed of. You've got the tiger by the tail. Now run with it. Have a great weekend, Rick