help

I have completely lost my mind... the last 2 weeks I have been on a junk food binge and of course have spent so much time puking. I got down to 150 and was woo hoo!! so I got to where I was eatting a bite of this and that...then I hit 160 which just spiraled out of control and lead to more eatting... I finally decided Sunday I can't do this and have been sticking to water and protein for 3 days and today I am back to 155. Ok so here's the other bad part...the I have lost it...today I'm writieng my hubby saying I can't be 160 if I'm going to yo yo at least let be between 140 and 150, not 150 and 160....then I'm crying because I remember the day I had my 1st ultra sound with my 1st son and I weighed 221 pounds the doctor told me not to gain more then 25 pound. I swore to myself I woulde NEVER weigh 250 pounds, by the time the pregancny was over I weighed 272 and the weight never stopped then it was I'll never hit 300, then 300 came and went after I hit 315 I refused to get on a scale. Someone please snap me back into reality that doesn't consist of this cycle Mimi

Oh Mimi, I feel for you. Even though I've never known what 150 or 160 feels like, I do know what it's like to know myself at one weight and then in an instant it's 10 lbs heavier. The powerlessness and disappointment is huge. You're taking your life by the reigns again with your water/protein. I really believe that we need to relearn how to eat and that is going to take some backsliding sometimes. A person can't live emotionally on protein/water forever(especially with the feelings of wanting to eat how we think normal people do) and trying to shake our old demons and replacing them with healthy things that we can feel just as excited about. Don't forget to remember the person who you were a year ago who would be so proud of you and thrilled to weigh 150 or 160 or 170. A fantastic journey isn't appreciated nearly as much without the rough patches and you are so strong, I know that you can conquer them not just for you but for your babies too. Lauren

Okay, Mimi, take a deep breath! It's okay. First of all, you are not going to keep pushing that number up so you can adjust" your "I'll never hit that button". 160 is more than reasonable for your height and size. (I personally wonder about 140 for you as you are already a size 8 I think you said.) So you like 150 better and you will work to stay there or within a few lbs of there. You have the tool you need to maintain your weight. You have all the tools you need. You have learned so much over this past year. You know in your heart that you can do this. (We believe in you too.) You are worth the extra effort to get back on track after taking a rabbit trail. We all do that. Believe me, I take one every couple of weeks for a day or two. I always feel terrible about myself and the choices I made but then I remind myself that this is a new lifestyle so that means I can just get back on track and keep moving. The key this time (after so many failed attempts to keep the weight off) is 1) I believe in myself now & 2) I now know that a few bad choices don't have to become my lifestyle, they are just a little bump in the road of this journey. So get back on track and make good choices today. Deal with tomorrow...well, tomorrow. I hope that something I have said encourages you to not give up and to stop being so hard on yourself. You did the right thing by coming here to our group and "confessing". We all need each other. I don't get to post often because I am generally too busy but I do think of & pray for all of us very often. My support groups are a lifeline for me and I am glad to know that you are all here. Hang in there! You are doing great and you will most definitely succeed! Hugs, Robin