Random thoughts...
Last night we went to see the Eddie Murphy film "Norbit". There was a plot to it, however, the main theme was the antics of a terribly obese woman (Eddie Murphy played the part). I guess it saddened me to know that money is made by making fun of obese people. I didn't know much about the movie - we were going out for dinner and a movie with my 2 sisters-in-laws and their hubbys and we had all seen many of the other movies and the majority picked this one. It also made fun of the main character "Norbit" who appeared to be slow and not so very bright. Having been involved directly/indirectly in both roles, it was bothersome. My sister is mentally retarded and slow and of course I was morbidly obese. It was funny - can you watch something with Eddie Murphy and it not be funny? But just so much fun was poked at this bully of a morbidly obese woman and a mentally challenged young man. It just reinforces the fact that so many preconceived ideas/jokes/discriminations are constructed towards obese people and mentally challenged people. Anybody else see this show?
And while I am babbling....do you see obese people now and stop yourself from doing it, but want to tell them about WLS? You know of course you don't dare mention it to a stranger, but you know how drastically if the WLS is successful it will change their lives? We went to Dennys last weekend for breakfast and I watched this young, terribly obese woman, try to fit all her parts into a booth and still breathe. She was literally out of breath by the time she got every body part situated in the booth - boobs hanging on the top of the table, stomach squashed to bits - and then of course she ordered everything but the kitchen sink to eat. She was young and as they say "had such a pretty face". How did we let ourselves get into that kind of shape to begin with? I so wanted to tell her how her life could change if she took that step, but wouldn't dare speak to someone I didn't know about such a thing.
That movie reminded me again last night - not that I needed to be reminded - how drastically my life has improved over the last year. How I can do normal things that were once prohibited by obesity, how people and children no longer snicker..."look at the fat lady"....and I tell myself to never judge other people as you don't know what got them to the place of obesity they are now, but how I wish they could find the changes I have experienced since WLS.
Anybody ever think like me? Have a good rest of the weekend...hugs to all...Barbara
"do you see obese people now and stop yourself from doing it, but want to tell them about WLS?"
Yes...Friday night! She was at my son's basketball practice. I felt so sad for her. You could tell it took such effort to just walk. I had seen her before in the video store and wanted so badly to tell her about me and the DS. I even drove back around the store and got her license plate number and was going to just send her some anonymous information. (I have a license plate book that tells who the number belongs too). I just couldn't do it though.
I also saw a young girl at a restaurant not to long ago that I wanted to say something to. She was soooo young and had her whole life ahead of her and I just kept thinking how that life was probably going to be so hard for her.
You're definitely not the only one that feels the way you do about wanting to tell people.
Barbara,
I agree, but I have to think about how I would have felt if someone would have
broached this subject with me a little over a year ago. I think people have to be at the right place in their lives for them to make this decision on their own. No one can make it for them or push them into it. I told myself I had to do this for myself and that I hoped others would understand my decision.
On the other hand, just give me an opening to tell people how this gift has positively changed my life and stand back. They can't get me to shut up. Two weeks ago I went to a conference for my work and the instructor had us introduce ourselved to the group and tell them something unique about ourselves. I told them there were two things I am proud of. One was that I have 5 grandkids (at the age of 46) and that I have had weight loss surgery and weight 150 pounds less then I did a year ago. That left an opening for the others to talk about my journey if they wanted to. To my surprise a young slender gal did speak with me because she has a realative that is going down this path and was happy to hear a sucess story.
So I guess after all of this, my opionion is just be honest and up front about our story and let them deceide if they want to ask more.
Life is good, Rick
Yes oh yes....this weekend the entire family got together to say "we'll miss you" to my hubby because he leaves for Japan on the 14th and they will nto see him again for 3 years....anyway my sister Billie is beautiful...always has been and always will be...placed 1st runner up in the Miss Tenn. when she was younger...anyway her husband weighs close to 400 pounds. He knows I have had the surgery but he did not ask me anything about it this weekend...but when other family members asked I made sure to answer every question in a positive light...even when it came to things like the puking. I so want him to see this as an option for him...but I wouldn't dare pull him aside and say David you need to look into this.
Mimi
first off, let me tell you about the 
you put on my face this morning with your poem! I stopped at the post office to pick up a priority box and figured, let me check my mail.. Your poem was so sweet! It takes a lot to put a smile on my face first thing in the morning (far from a morning person), but you did it 
I haven't seen the movie, but want to. Everytime I've seen the commercials I can't say I've thought about it in the prospective you've put it in, but when I do see it, I'll have to make sure to give you my thoughts on it!
As far as seeing other people and wanting to tell them about surgery... YES!! I think the same thing everytime I see someone struggling or squeezing into a booth or getting winded from walking a slow pace.
At breakfast Sunday morning, the restaurant was packed, we waited about 20 minutes so needless to say you couldn't be choosy about your seat. We were seated at a table in the middle of the restaurant, booths surrounded the walls, but were just about full... We just ordered began looking at the menu and here comes a couple about to be seated at a booth. The woman looked about my size before surgery, she was young and with a guy. When they were seated, I could see her eyeing the area and distance from the table to the seat (how many times have we all done that, trying to figure out how to squeeze in and not be obvious or embarrassed). He (tall and slim guy she was with) slid in and then she attempted to do the same. She wedged herself and inched into the booth while he sat and watched. My heart broke for her!!! She looked so uncomfortable and sat with her hand between her stomach and the table (I remember doing that at a Japanese restaurant with friends. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't fit in the booth but yet I'm here with all skinny people who weigh no more than 135lbs soaking wet, what could I do!!). While he was looking at the menu, she was glancing at tables to see if one was open, but there were none.
Here I am thinking back about the times I was in her shoes and our eyes met. I wanted to 
she looked humiliated that I was looking at her, not knowing a year ago I was in the situation she was.
Less than a few minutes later, the guy got up and went to the restroom. Still feeling awful, I went to her and said I wasn't looking at you the way you thought, a year ago I was doing and feeling the same thing you are right now, we haven't ordered yet, you haven't either, please switch places with us!! At first she was hesitant, but I said please! I'd much rather you enjoy your meal sitting comfortably than the way you are! She shook her head slowly and said thank you.
At that point I didn't even want to stay for breakfast. thinking about how I use to be, all the food I could eat, how big I was, the very few stores I could shop in, how I was always the biggest friend when we would go out or how I never wanted to go away with friends because I didn't want them to see me on the airplane stuffed in a seat, overflowing into theirs... My bf could see I was upset and asked if I wanted to leave, but I didn't want to take away from him eating just because of me reminiscing the downs of my prior life. At the end of the meal I went to the restroom and the girl walked in. She thanked me again and asked how I did it (use to be her size and now the size I am). I told her about the surgery and how it changed my life. Telling people about surgery isn't something I've often done, but since we in Boston, far from my little town where everyone knows everyones business, I felt I had to tell her the truth! She told me shes looked into it, shes only 21 and her weight gets in the way of her personal life, work and school. I told her its the best decision I've made in my life and if I had to do it again, I would tomorrow!
you put on my face this morning with your poem! I stopped at the post office to pick up a priority box and figured, let me check my mail.. Your poem was so sweet! It takes a lot to put a smile on my face first thing in the morning (far from a morning person), but you did it
I haven't seen the movie, but want to. Everytime I've seen the commercials I can't say I've thought about it in the prospective you've put it in, but when I do see it, I'll have to make sure to give you my thoughts on it!
As far as seeing other people and wanting to tell them about surgery... YES!! I think the same thing everytime I see someone struggling or squeezing into a booth or getting winded from walking a slow pace.
At breakfast Sunday morning, the restaurant was packed, we waited about 20 minutes so needless to say you couldn't be choosy about your seat. We were seated at a table in the middle of the restaurant, booths surrounded the walls, but were just about full... We just ordered began looking at the menu and here comes a couple about to be seated at a booth. The woman looked about my size before surgery, she was young and with a guy. When they were seated, I could see her eyeing the area and distance from the table to the seat (how many times have we all done that, trying to figure out how to squeeze in and not be obvious or embarrassed). He (tall and slim guy she was with) slid in and then she attempted to do the same. She wedged herself and inched into the booth while he sat and watched. My heart broke for her!!! She looked so uncomfortable and sat with her hand between her stomach and the table (I remember doing that at a Japanese restaurant with friends. I was so embarrassed that I couldn't fit in the booth but yet I'm here with all skinny people who weigh no more than 135lbs soaking wet, what could I do!!). While he was looking at the menu, she was glancing at tables to see if one was open, but there were none.
Here I am thinking back about the times I was in her shoes and our eyes met. I wanted to she looked humiliated that I was looking at her, not knowing a year ago I was in the situation she was.
Less than a few minutes later, the guy got up and went to the restroom. Still feeling awful, I went to her and said I wasn't looking at you the way you thought, a year ago I was doing and feeling the same thing you are right now, we haven't ordered yet, you haven't either, please switch places with us!! At first she was hesitant, but I said please! I'd much rather you enjoy your meal sitting comfortably than the way you are! She shook her head slowly and said thank you.
At that point I didn't even want to stay for breakfast. thinking about how I use to be, all the food I could eat, how big I was, the very few stores I could shop in, how I was always the biggest friend when we would go out or how I never wanted to go away with friends because I didn't want them to see me on the airplane stuffed in a seat, overflowing into theirs... My bf could see I was upset and asked if I wanted to leave, but I didn't want to take away from him eating just because of me reminiscing the downs of my prior life. At the end of the meal I went to the restroom and the girl walked in. She thanked me again and asked how I did it (use to be her size and now the size I am). I told her about the surgery and how it changed my life. Telling people about surgery isn't something I've often done, but since we in Boston, far from my little town where everyone knows everyones business, I felt I had to tell her the truth! She told me shes looked into it, shes only 21 and her weight gets in the way of her personal life, work and school. I told her its the best decision I've made in my life and if I had to do it again, I would tomorrow! 
Stylz...
That's a great story about you helping that lady out with the booth. I remember that booths used to be the bain of my existence pre-surgery. Now my gf laughs because I now request them if given the choice....hey the padded booth is more comfortable than a chair, especially now that I have less of my own padding on my a**.
I have no problem telling people about how WLS has changed my life. One thing that I encourage all of us OH people is to print out OH member business cards and carry a couple around with you. You can print them out by going to your OH profile (new profile...I don't know if the old profiles have this option) and right next to your avatar picture is a link saying member card. It will guide you through the template to produce really nifty looking cards that contain the address for your profile. You can print them out on photo paper or go to staples and you can purchase blank business cards.
This has come in very handy when people ask me questions about the surgery. It gives those considering surgery the link to OH. I even modified mine and added an invitation on the back to our local support group meeting.
Scott M
Hi Barbara. I think it's sad that laughing at obesity sells so many tickets. But it does. On one hand, I understand that Eddie Murphy is using his comedic genius to be creative and he IS funny. On the other hand, I've been laughed at many times while obese. That ISN'T funny.
I often want to share my story of WLS with other obese people. It is a fine line, for sure. I don't talk about my surgery much, especially with thin people. But I will sit down and talk for hours with someone that I think might benefit from the surgery. It is so difficult when you watch people struggle and can relate on such a personal level.
I just hope I know when I should say something, and when I should keep my mouth shut! 
Hugs, Stephanie 
Hugs, Stephanie 
Hi Barbara,
I just got a chance to read your post. I want to tell you that YES, I too have wanted to tell others what WLS has done for me and that it can work for them too. I would never approach a stranger but everytime I see someone either walking with difficulty like I used to walk or in a restaurant sitting in a booth they can't fit, etc. I want to reach out to them. I want to give them hope that this can work for them. I am saddened all the time when I see others who are like I used to be. I am also even more grateful that I was able to have this surgery and change my life. I am so thankful that this has been a success for me (even though I am not at goal weight yet and not the size I would like to be, I still feel like a success).
I feel it is only natural for us to want to give hope to others. We have walked in their shoes. We have been the butt of rude jokes/comments/sarcasim, etc. We know what it is like to try and keep up on a shopping trip or in an amusement park with others who are thinner. We know what it is like to need to sit and rest our feet and catch our breath after short distances. We know what it feels like to be embarrassed because we don't fit into a booth and we also know what it feels like to know that others are judging our choices from the menu, thinking that we don't need to be eating that much or those types of food. I want others to feel the freedom I now have, to experience how nice it feels to enjoy walking, moving, buying clothes, eating out, working out at the gym, etc without the stares and comments from others.
I tell my story every chance I get. I don't know if I'll ever talk to a total stranger but I have prayed that those I pass on the street or in the store will hear about WLS and choose a better life too. I don't know if that's wrong or not but I believe that having hope of a better life is the first step for a lot of people.
Hugs, Robin
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