Nothing in Common

Don't get me wrong here - this is a great board, and we should all be kinda in the same place since we all had surgery the same month. BUT....I keep reading and can't find anyone with whom I have anything in common. Like many of us, I felt like weight loss surgery was my last and best hope at losing weight and getting healthy. With a history of stroke, diabetes, sleep apnea, etc..... it seemed like a no-brainer that this is what I needed to do, and what would work for me. I had never had surgery or anesthesia of any kind before, so just the prospect of surgery was overwhelming. Surgery went well, and recovery was "normal". I cannot say I ever experienced a "wow" moment - it never felt like magic, never felt like the weight was simply "falling off" as people talk about. It's felt like a battle the entire way. I committed to the changes - dietary, exercise, etc..... I lost more or less steadily for 5 months (75 lbs), and then it STOPPED - didn't simply slow down - but came to a dead stop. I did not stop doing everything I could, but my body completely ceased to respond. I am quickly losing any incentive for continuing everything in "the plan" --exercise, diet, meds, etc....) It's now been over 6 months since I lost an ounce - this is beyond distressing (and clincally depressing) - I feel so cheated, so betrayed, so misled. I have had very emotional discussions with both my surgeon and my endocrinologist. It seems that my metabolism is simply so screwed that my body has decided that 1100 calories is more than adequate to maintain over 200 lbs of lard. (this is with an hour of exercise daily) Endocrinologist says there isn't really anything else they can do - but that I might have to double or triple my exercise (I went through the roof when he suggested that "I'm not doing enough" -- arrrrrrgh) I cannot continue to commit to things that have failed me for 6 months already). Surgeon's office just wants me to be happy with what I've accomplished (or in my view - be happy that I've failed -- not gonna happen) In addition to all of this, I have had no improvement in lipid levels, blood pressure, or diabetes since surgery and weight loss. Yes, I do have more energy, and feel good in general, but I feel like I've been stranded in the middle of nowhere. I get disgusted when I read posts about people at the same post-op stage I'm at going out to buy normal sized clothes or bragging about their size 6 or 8 jeans - and I know it's not your fault -I'd be excited too - hell, I'd be excited if I could just find any clothes that fit this gross, misshapen body that I'm stuck with. Sorry to vent - but I have nowhere else to go with this - the docs all try to push me off to the next dr in line - and none want to acknowledge or address the serious emotional toll this is taking on me. Thanks for listening - and I promise I won't do this again. Cheryl Highest wt 330 lbs (several years ago) Pre-op 275 lbs 5-mo post op 202 lbs 11-mo post op 202 lbs

Cheryl, Im sorry-- and I honestly don't know what to tell you! Seem's like your getting a lot of that. I did run into another person who had the same issue as you... she was on my PCOS board (You don't have PCOS do you?)... she had weight loss surgery, lost 60lbs or so in 6 months and then DEAD stop... and for 12 months more she didn't lose another pound, it didn't matter what she did. She finally had all her hormone levels and everything checked, and they said she was more screwed up than she was before surgery-- they started her on Metformin, and she started dropping the weight, and 6 months later she is nearing her goal. Have you been tested for thyroid, or other medical issues??? There has to be a medical reason behind it... if your eating 1000-1200 calories, and exercising and not losing, its not your fault... something needs to be fixed! Im sorry sweetie-- Im sending you HUGE hugs!!!

LOL! We are totally in sync today. You just type faster than me! Kathy

I am so sorry that you are going though all of this. I really do believe there is something medical behind why you aren't losing more. Do you have, or have you been tested for PCOS? I've heard that there are some people with such a high level of insulin resistance that they are forced to go back on their Metformin after WLS to get their weight loss started again. It sounds like you are doing everything right. Maybe you are not eating enough calories for the amount of exercise you are doing. Find out what your BMR is and make sure you are not in starvation mode. If you have anutritionist available, check with them too. Heck, just keep seeking out answers until SOMEONE helps you. You are doing your part of the deal, make them do theirs! hugs, Kathy

Thanks for the suggestions, but I've done it all -- I work in a hospital and my docs are all right here....thyroid function is normal -- even though I have a large mass/nodule on it (just had 2nd biopsy this week -- still benign). Also have a {growing} mass on one adrenal gland -- biopsy done in November -- but it is not causing any hormone or chemical imbalances. Have seen the nutrition counsellors at the surgeon's office -- they went over my food diary, etc....and couldn't find anything to change. I'm definitely not in starvation mode. Cannot tolerate the GI side effects of most diabetes meds since surgery -- we've tried metformin, starlix, prandin, precose, glyset, etc...... had to quit them all. Life sucks -- and being stuck this fat after doing all the right things sucks even more. :::::::::::SIGH::::::::::::::::

Oh Cheryl, I am so sorry you are going through this. I of course don't have any grand ideas, solutions or words of wisdom. I wish I did. My heart hurts for you. I am glad that you shared your struggles with us. It must be very hard to "listen" to all of us talking about our "successes" and feel like you have failed. You have not failed!!! It sounds to me that clearly the surgery failed you. I know that probably doesn't help. Have you checked for a message board here on OH for others in your similar situation? Maybe it would help you to know that there are others out there who are struggling just like you. We are here for you as well, but sometimes it helps to have someone that is there or has been there. I wish I could come over and give you hugs and a shoulder to cry on. If I can encourage you to continue with your plan. I don't want to sound cliche or anything like that. But you said that you do have more energy and in general you do feel better. Maybe sticking with the plan will keep you there, at the very least and perhaps in time you will improve in both your health and weight loss. I know that is easy for me to say it and a lot harder for you, walking through it. We have all felt that kind of frustration before. Spinning our wheels and getting no where is very depressing. I am glad you shared your heart ache. If there is anything I can do, please let me know. In the meantime, I am a very strong believer in the power of prayer. If its okay with you, I will be praying for you and for a solution for you along with peace of mind, strength to keep working at it, and inner happiness to replace the depression that the emotional toll of all this has taken on you. Hugs, Robin

Cheryl, I'm sorry that your surgery has been disappointing for you. I was warned by my bariatric program that I may never drop below 200 pounds. Apparently, years of being morbidly obese may have screwed up my body/metabolism enough so that I can't ever see lower numbers on the scale. I'm still hopeful. I still have a goal and will work toward that goal. I will also never see size 6 or 8 anything. I'm okay with that. I'd be thrilled to, someday, be in a size 12. I guess, for me, that I'm at the place in my life where I feel that if I never lost another pound and remained at 216 pounds for the rest of my life, I'm better off than when I was 350 pounds. I understand your disappointment and your frustration. I hope that you have a mental health professional that you can express these frustrations to. If you have exhausted all other avenues, it seems to me that you could use some help in learning to accept yourself at 202 pounds. Which, by the way, is wonderful! I feel really good at 216 so I can only hope I will feel even better at 202. Anyhow, I wish I had a magic wand that I could wave for you and make the scale move again. I don't consider a 73 pound weight loss a failure in the least and I truly hope that you are able to see that as well and continue the good behaviors that have allowed you to achieve that loss. Know that we are always here for support and that the fact we all had surgery gives us at least one thing in common. Hugs, Stephanie

Cheryl, I don't have any advice to add that others haven't already given. I just wanted to say that you never have to apologize for posting on this board. We are here to support each other. So vent vent vent all you want (and need to). Laura

Cheryl, I am afraid I don't have anything to add that the other ladies haven't already covered but I wanted to second what Laura had to say. Vent away hon! This is what we are here for. I am so sorry you are at a stand still and I hope in time the weight loss starts back up for you on it's own or your docs figure out what the problem is and can get it going again for you. Should that not happen I hope you are able to be happy with what you have accomplished, because you did accompli****it did not happen on it's own. Mimi

Thanks for the kind words Mimi ....but I don't think the docs are even looking for anything to help me -- just telling me there's nothing they can do. As for being happy with "what I've accomplished", I will never consider what's happened as any type of a success or accompliishment....just in a slightly different bad situation than I was in before. What a waste of time and $$$$ ::::::::::::::SIGH::::::::::::::::;