Would u leave your spouse/significant other after you lost weight?

I used to read other peoples profile and it seems like its happened a lot. Did anyone start having difficulties after you lost weight? I met this guy over a year and a half ago I was well over 300lbs when we met. Last year we started talking again and I told him that I had the surgery and he was okay with some pics as I was loosing weight. But not the last ones well he is back from Iraq as of Friday and I think he is totally turned off by me now. He likes big girls and told me that he could not see himself with anyone less that a D cup. He said he had a girl who had the surgery and left him but I am not her. Do you think its the fact that I lost weight or is it he is afraid of falling for me and me leaving him. Btw,.. I have already fell for him,.. LOL So my question is to anyone that will answer it single or married. Was it you that caused the break up because you felt you settled for that person because you were overweight and now that you are not you want "better" or was it the other person not being able to handle your weight loss?

Maybe he really DOES like bigger women, but if thats the case, then he never fell for you because you'd think it was YOU he'd fall for, not just the body. But maybe he is afraid of you leaving him after he falls for you... Who knows. I'm just sorry that you're feeling disappointment over this *comforts you* As for me, my marriage has gotten STRONGER since my surgery. My husband met me when I was 22 years old, and weighed 190 lbs. Over the years I ballooned as high as 288, but was 269 at surgery time. I know he "tolerated" my weight, and was not happy with me that size. But I know he loved me no matter what, it was ME he loved, through fat times and thin times... Rebecca M., 5'8" 269/161/155?

Yeah,.. I have to admit that IO was somewhat dissapointed. And if I think about it it bothers me some. But I do realize after such an overwhelming response that there will be other huys and that I am sooo worth it. I feel that if he is not the one he just made more room in my life for the one to come along. SO when I feel like it I'll start dating again,.. I'm thinking really soon!,..lol Also that is wonderful about you and your husband I am glad to see that there are happy marriages and healthy relationships out there even after they have wheathered some storms. That's awesome! Thanks for the comfort I really needed it! Steph

You know, I think his attitude equals his insecurity - I am thinking he thinks the way you look now - that you would never want to be with him - not the fact that he likes big girls - which he might??? However, I am just betting he is insecure with himself and he is afraid if he commits totally to you that you might decide to leave him at some point in the future. If he is truly "the one" you have to make sure of that yourself first of all and then convince him that he is the one and only one. It will be tough if he is insecure about himself. However, there are a few good men who love you however you are because they love the "inner" you and they are not obsessed with the "outer" you. And bear in mind he has already had one girl leave him and he just probably isn't ready to have it done to him again. So make sure he is what you want - give it enough time to be sure on your part before you get him to commit and then later you decide he isn't for you. WOW....doesn't life get complicated sometime? Best of luck in whatever decision you make. Hugs to you...Barbara

You know, I think his attitude equals his insecurity - I agree with this statement. I think he maybe somewhat attracted to larger women but I think when he really saw me in real life again and saw the reaction or interaction that I had with others it made him feel uncomfortable. He is not willing to fight for me so he is taking the easy way out and I wish him much luck. But, me Im gonna move on to bigger and better things! Thanks Barbara Steph

Well, I dont have much to say except to just go with your heart. I've been married 20 years and my husband has loved me thin and fat just the same. What I did want to ask you though...is can I PLEASE HAVE YOUR BOOBS? Not to sound like a cheese ball but man, you have GREAT boobs!! I am the proud president of the itty bitty ***** committee. You really are very beautiful and I hope your man see's that! He's surely just afraid of getting hurt again. Best of luck to you! Trish

LOL,... I am loosing them daily I think I am down to a c cup today. I just hope the rest of me shrinks so they can look great again,.. lol I know but that fear may have just lost him a really good thing. I think its sad! But I know I'll be allright! Thanks Steph And congrats on 20 years of wedded bliss!!

I would never leave my husband. I think that he is struggling with some insecurities of his own right now. We have been very happily married for nearly 19 years now. I love him with all of my heart. He recently has commented to me twice that he doesn't understand why I want to lose more weight. I can tell he isn't as attracted to my body as he used to be, but I don't believe it's because he likes bigger women. I think it's because without cute clothes, this body is just not pretty. Saggy, loose skin, wrinkles and no boobs to speak of, the hangin belly skin, etc. Not at all pretty. However, I know that some of that will be fixed with plastic surgery, which I fully intend on getting done, and some will be fixed with working out, which I am doing very hard. Also, I know, very realistically that some of the sagging stuff just won't ever go away. I know my husband loves me and that he is proud of me, he tells me all the time. I think that the men in our lives have their own issues they have to work through along with our weight loss. Getting used to the new me is one of the things my husband is working through. I am the same person, just happier, more content and more fulfilled in general. More confident as well. I think that extra reassurance will help. Communication is so important. You and he need to share how you are feeling and be totally honest with yourself and with him. I like what I beieve Barbara said, be sure that he is what you want and then work at it. You look amazing! Hugs, Robin

I can not weight to get to where you are "just happier, more content and more fulfilled in general. More confident as well." I am still working on the head connection thing I hope it is okay very soon though. I think I am okay today, I am in a better place than yesterday and I know exactly what I need to do and I am okay with the decision heck he made it very easy for me. 19 years is a long time congrats on that and I hope he works thought it fast so you guys can move on to the next level! Steph