Update on me

Thanks to all *****sponded to my last post. I guess things are better after a very rough weekend. I ended up overdosing on ativan this past friday and my sister in law took me to the ER. They treated as accidental and asked my sister in law to stay the night with me. She said that she would so they sent me home. But then I ended up doing a rather large overdose that Saturday after she left. I took ativan, lexapro, tylenol and benadryl. The really stupid thing was I then decided to drive myself to the ER. I was a couple blocks from the hospital when I realized I had hit something. I remembering pulling over and looking around. When I couldn't figure it out, I decided to get back in the car and continue driving when someone came over to the car. It was a woman who said that she had been following me for several miles and that I was all over the road. She asked if I was okay and I had took her no. She said that she had already called the police. They arrived really quickly and called an ambulance. They impounded my car. Turns out I did hit a parked SUV with my side view mirror and broke their tail light and stratched their vehile a little on the side. I am being charged with reckless driving. How stupid was I???? Crisis was called and I went into the hospital on a voluntary basis. There was nothing for me to do there and I was going crazy. They did not allow me to bring any personal belongings not even my clothes except for what I was wearing. They took my shoes and my sweatshirt and locked the bathroom. After yelling and screaming they finally gave me my stuff back and unlocked the bathroom. There was nothing for me to do there except sleep. There was no tv in sight. I ended up checking myself out after 12 hours. My family doc had tried to get me into an eating disorder clinic but couldn't because apparantly my health was not in great immediate danger as I was only suffering from mild malnutrition and dehydration. I was staying with my parents for awhile but it just drove me crazy so since I did start eating they allowed me to leave. My mother is withholding my depression pills from me per the doctors orders. It makes no sense to me. At this point, I am angry at just about everyone including myself. I feel like everyone is against me. I have a therapy appt on Feb 15. I just need to keep myself from doing anything stupid again.

I am really sorry u are going through all of this, But I want to understand I am new to this board, Are u trying to hurt yourself? Is it an accident? I am just asking cuz maybe I can relate, But I don't want to speak out of line if I am not understanding....... You can if u want, Email me at [email protected] Bren

I'm sorry you're going thru this. I really hope you will get the help you need. Try to remember everyone is not against you, even though it may feel that way; they all love you and are trying to help you. It doesn't sound like a therapy appt 15 days away is a good thing for you right now. Couldn't they make an exception based on what happened and get you in sooner? Please try to love and take care of yourself. Whatever you are going thru, you have it in you to fight it, you can do it and come out the better for it. Just hang on, you can beat this and go on to lead a happy healthy life!

Thank goodness you're ok! I agree with Rebeka A's post: Is there a way they can move that therapy appt. up? It seems ridiculous for you to wait 2 weeks before talking to someone, especially after what you went through last weekend... Are you working? Did you get your car back from the impound yet? Why did staying with your parents "drive you crazy"? I know your mom must be so worried about you. I think one of the reasons they don't have TV's in the hospital is so you can quietly think and contemplate what you're feeling and going through... TV tends to be a distraction. I'm frustrated to know that they can't get you in the eating disorder clinic because your health is not in immediate danger... Are they going to wait until you hit 98 pounds before they help you?? That just makes me mad... Please hang in there and keep asking for help. Follow through with your therapy appointments!! Remember, people aren't against you, they're just against you hurting yourself or others around you. Please keep posting to us, because we are worried about you, and because its GOOD for you to talk about your struggles, even if it feels like you're just typing to a bunch of strangers Rebecca M. 269/161/155