Awwww $$$$ [email protected] question...

Hi All, Have a question for you.... My cousin just got engaged. I love my cousin and he spent a nice chunk on me for my wedding, so I was planning on returning the gesture and was budgeting like $200 for his gift. Now they're throwing them an engagement party, so I'm wondering how much do I spend on the E. gift? I really wanted to go with a "Wow" gift for the wedding, and I don't want to cheap out with the E. gift, but two Wow gifts is overbudget for me.... Sorry if this sounds cheap or dumb, but I was just wondering....WWYD?

Rebeka, this question does not sound cheap or dumb! I am an ettiquette fanatic. I collect ettiquette books from past centuries to current, from the US and other cultures. A few times a year I give presentations to civic groups on ettiquette issues. While I don't fancy myself an expert of any sorts, I am happy to share my thoughts. The ettiquette gurus say that guests are not expected to bring gifts to an engagement party. I just bring a card to engagement parties and have never felt that a gift was expected by the couple. In the past I have sent flowers or a gift basket soon with a personal note after hearing of an engagement. For example, I once sent a big box of chocolates to a bride-to-be with a note saying I thought she might need these over the next few months while planning the wedding. A small gesture upon hearing of an engagement, letting the couple know you are thinking of them, can be as impressive as buying an expensive gift. Have a great day! Laura

That's interesting about your collection! Thank you so much for the input! I like the chocolates idea!

I would do 1 gift and that's it...and i would even explain to them you can only afford to do one really nice gift which you so want to do, would they rather have it at the eparty or the wedding......I don't know about where you are but here....they don't even open gifts at the wedding if they get any...the bride opens them all and the bridal shower...so I would guess I would get the nice gift for the eparty...but different parts of the us do different things...so...not much help huh LOL Mimi

Hi Mimi, My experience has been that Wedding gifts are opened post wedding, sometimes family is invited for dinner and an "opening party." Kinda fun. Thanks for your input!