Feeling sorry for myself Friday and it's not even Friday yet!

I keep looking for the right words, don't know what they are so I'll just list them as I feel them. I hate that the scale isn't' moving fast enough. I hate to see the scale yo-yo up and down a lb or two. I hate that it takes weeks and weeks to lose a few lbs just to be excited then it sticks again and then the misery starts all over. I hate that I feel guilty sometimes when I eat. I hate that I feel guilty that I want to eat. I hate that I eat when I shouldnt. I hate having to feel bad because I want to eat. I hate that I know I should go to the gym, but I'm tired of it being a struggle. I want to want to go again! I hate that Im still fat. I want to be thin already. I don't like what I see in my pics. I feel great, like I look good then I see my pics and Im still fat. I don't like the chicken doodle hanging under my neck. I hate that I don't know what to do with myself. (Yes I need a job, but then I'll hate that too) I hate that I know I should be grateful and thankful to be where I am, I should be happy but I'm not, each day I stay at this weight or fluctuate up a pound, I get more and more discouraged. I know ( or least I should know I"ll still lose, im only 7 months out) but Im afraid I wont keep losing. Im afraid I'll never see 199 or below. I want a 1 in my weight and not a 215, or a 211 or a 201, a 1** I hate that Im a brat and it's all I want. I I I LOL Ok I am sounding ridiculous huh? But it's how I feel. I'm having a really bad day, couple of days. There's probably lots more I've been feeling sorry for about myself, but overall that's it. I feel basically stuck, i feel like it sucks, feels like nothing's going to change, that this is it, I feel like its going to take 3 or 4 months to lose only 15lbs to get below 200, and again I should be happy, grateful, but Im not, I wnat it soon!! It is driving me nuts that the weight isnt coming off like it originally did. I have to keep working and working at it but nothing happens. And i guess working working at it is a bit over board, I have my moments like anyone else and am having something I shouldnt be. But I dont think nothing that should be considered bad or overboard. I guess our bodies are not like other peoples, anything over a certain calorie and we're doomed, it packs on a 1lb. My normal diet to anyone else they'd lose, but for us we're screwed, sniff a twinkie and watch out!!! Ok, Im done ranting. Please tell me I am not alone. That we are all freaking at this moment in time when the scales are creeping. That we want it all and we want it now and over with. But it never will be over will it? Maybe thats the mentality I need to change. .I know this is for life if I want to be successful long term, just guess Im anxious to get there. Maybe I'll never be happy, that's probably it. I/We will always want something more, something else. Oh well, such is life. Thats my rant. Oh, and my trip to Tornto for the week is in two days. I should be very excited, but Im not, actually kind of down about it, seems like whats the sense. Will just be miserable there too. all alone most of the time, you can only shop so much, it doesnt really fill /feed you for long does it? Sheesh.. ok later.

I feel for you Ruth Ann, you are not alone. It is so damm discouraging when you get on the scale and see a loss (dont care if its only one pound) but the next morning you are up a few pounds and then it takes a week to get back to that weight you were so happy to see!! When ever I drop a few pounds, it never stays, it goes up and down for a week. Two days ago I was 202, now Im 204. I also want to see the 199. I truly dont see it ever coming!! Hopefully your DOWN TIME will be short lived. Be happy for all the weight you have loss. We are way to hard on ourselves. We need to lighten up and enjoy the new US!! ITs really hard but you must concentrate on how far you have come. All this energy you are spending on the negatives must be spend on the positives!! BE PROUD of all yu have accomplished!!

. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!! I have felt that way since month one of this surgery. Every ounce I have lost I have worked damned hard for I jog 2 miles 3-4 times a week, I do the elliptical machine, I walk the dog, I play basketball, I take belly dancing, salsa, ballroom dancing classes. I am even joining a curling club. I had to go on slim fast only for 3 weeks to loose the last 20lbs. Boy oh Boy do I understand. BUT!!!! You must remember,... It is a tool and just think where you would be had you not had it put in 6 1/2 months ago. Exactly where you were. So Thank God,.. Let's Thank Him! I am not where I want to be but THANK GOD, THANK YOU JESUS I am NOT where I used to be!!!!! Just remember that its not a diet it is real life! In real life I want chocolate so guess what I have it. If I don't want to exercise tonight and watch Grey's Anatomy I will. But I will get back on it tomorrow. This is real life and your tool is in you its in me and It will take a little longer but the race is not promissed to the swift but to the one who endures. I would love to have lost 110lbs in 6mos, as much as I have worked and as hard as Ihave worked, I should but I will not stop working and neither will you. YOU can do this YOU will do this. WE WILL ALL GET THERE!!!

Wow, I can so relate to your post! I have felt stuck for the past 2 months! I lose a pound, gain 2, lose 2, etc..., I talked to my Dr and all he could say is that we weigh less now, so it will take more to lose. That answer just frustrated me more. I want to lose 30 more pounds, but I am afraid it may never happen. I am also struggling with how much I am eating. As much as I tell myself not to snack, I do find myself grabbing things during the day. Work is very stressful and what I don't want to do is go back to old habits. The snacks I am grabbing are much healthier than they used to be, but according to my surgeon I should be eating only 3 meals a day. So, tonight I tell myself that I am changing my plan. Rather than try for the 3 meals a day, I am going to break that amount of food up into 5 meals and maybe that will satisfy the urge to eat in between, while sticking to the amount of calories I should be having. Thanks for sharing your feelings. It makes us all look inside and re-examine our own feelings. Pat

Ruth Ann, I hate all those things too. I also hate that last month, I went to the gym faithfully four or more days each week and I only lost 2.5 inches. The previous month I lost 4.5 inches. What's up with that?! Ugh! Do you know how much you lose each week? I think the only thing that keeps me sane is tracking my weekly weight. I only lose 1 to 1.5 pounds each week but at least that's something. I do weigh everyday (often more than once) and the fluctuation can make me crazy. At least I see the weekly progress. I wi**** was more progress, but it's something. I keep telling myself that I'm following the rules and exercising. What more can I do? At this rate, I will hit my one year anniversary and I won't be below 200 pounds. I keep telling myself that 238ish is better than 350 anyday. Often, however, I'm not satisfied and I want more, more, more. Anyway, just wanted you to know that you aren't alone in the least. It looks like many of us are in this boat with you. I can't think of any other group I'd rather be in the boat with. - Stephanie

You are so not alone. I feel that way everyday. I am 21 pounds from 199 and I feel like it will take forever to get to 199. I know I should be happy about my weight lose I am but I feel like a failure sometimes when I think I should have lost more weight by now. I need to stay off the scale every freaking day. Yep I am a slave to the scale--I will weigh 3-4 sometimes 5 times a day. What is that??? It only makes me depressed but I torture myself anyway. I have no bright insights I just wanted to let you know you are not alone. Have a safe trip. MJ

You are not alone. I am feeling the exact same way. I hadn't lost a pound in a month and was exercising religiously and watching what I ate and following all the rules. Today the scale finally moved..But I have lost NO inches since last month...Woooo is me also !!! Big Hugs..and you are doing great !! Dana