Overeaters Anonymous? - CROSSPOST FROM SC BOARD

Does anyone have any experience with overeaters anonymous? I am having some troubles and have once again eaten myself sick. Not fudgesicles sick, just I didn't stop when I felt full. And now of course I feel like crap. So now I am disgusted with myself and feel like a HUGE failure. I need to get this under control. I'd go back to the psychologist, but I think I need continued therapy and I just can't take all that time off from work. I'm really needing some help right now. Kathy

Kathy...I have just looked at your profile and saw the pictures of you and your beautiful family. You may feel like a HUGE failure, but this is just one day. Think how far you have come and seize that opportunity to remind yourself of where you are now. Not that we are psychologists by any stretch of the imagination, but here is my 2 cents worth! Maybe if you plastered your "fat" pictures everywhere, along with your "skinny" now pictures you would have a constant reminder of where you were and where you are now. Look at those pictures before you eat something. Ask yourself if you want to go back...look at your beautiful daughter and know you are doing this for yourself primarily, but also to see her through to adulthood and beyond. I have also heard if you have the urge to eat something, then drink a big bottle of water before you eat. Anyway....please know we are here for you and please take care of yourself! Barbara

Barabara - Thank you so much for your kind words. They mean alot to me. I really love you guys! What worries me the most is that I was bulimic, then a binger and extreme emotional overeater before surgery. Though I have lost alot of weight and am feeling better, Those behaviors seem to be poking their heads out from hiding again. I want long term success. I am afraid of being a statistic. I know I won't be successful if I don't address those issues. I wonder if I had sought out help before surgery, if the weight wouldn't have disappeared without it. I need something else to occupy my mind I think. Too deep for the funk I am in right now. Kathy

Hi Kathy, I think you're very brave for posting what you did instead of ignoring potentially destructive behavior. I'm so sorry this is going on with you. I've been having some of the same issues. I haven't binged yet, but late night eating has been sneaking up on me again. And with all the postings I've been reading about people gaining it back, the fear that I too will fail has been keeping me up at night, it kills me to think that after taking such drastic measures this could end up being "just another diet." Since I don't have any dumping or any other "restrictions" from WLS, a small pouch is the only thing I have going for me. I'm so scared to fall back into overeating and stretch it! I have not been to OA, but I was researching it before WLS and am also considering it now. On the recommendation of a Binge Eating therapist from my nutrition classes, I read one of their books too. (can't remember the name.) but it was very helpful and made me think the program might help me. I know they practice a strict ban on all forms of sugar--for a lifetime. Their website is http://www.oa.org/index.htm I wish we lived closer, I'd go with you! I also wanted to tell you that the only thing that stopped the binge eating and head hunger for me was low carbing. I know I sound like a commercial for Atkins but it's been the only thing that ever stopped my behavior. I have slipped off the wagon a little, I just have to jump back on. If I keep my carbs low, I'm good. I know you can get a handle on this! You can recover from one or two slip ups! You've come a long way and you're in control now, you have a tool you didn't have before and you can beat this! Anyway, I think OA is a good choice, keep us posted if you go, I'd love to hear about it. BEST OF LUCK TO YOU. Don't give up!!! Rebeka

Hi Kathy, I am sorry you are struggling right now. I too have found it difficult to keep the old habits away now that I can eat more and a greater variety of food. Just remember it is only one day. Tomorrow you are going to do better. You are not a failure! I am really bad about cleaning my plate and so I try to stick to a smaller plate so I won't have portions larger than I know I can eat. That helps me a bit. I have overeaten a few times even with smaller plates. I remember a saying from teh author of "the weigh down diet". Do you remember that one? She said that we have to remember that the food will be there later. We don't have to eat it all right now. I am trying to practice putting away the food I still want even though I am full. Then I tell myself that I can have more later, the next time I am hungry. When I practice this it works for me. I think a group like OA is a good idea. We will all struggle from time to time with our old ways. We need someplace to go to get the skills to help us overcome. You can do it. Hugs, Robin

Hi Kathy, first you are not a failure! The good thing is that you can identify and see your problem areas, and its great that you acknowledge them and want to try to find ways to work at them. I think something like oa or another group would be a great thing. Support from anywhere you can get it is good! Remember it is just one day at a time. We don't want to continue to repeat the same mistakes, but we have to learn to not beat our selves up ( or at least over beat!! ) ourselves. Say "Hey, this was not the right choice, this isn't getting me where I want to be and stay, so I'm not going to let it happen again" , then move on. I have a quote/line here I came across awhile back and think it fits with what I just said. "Every time you make a decision during the day, ask yourself this question, "Does it take me closer to, or further from my goal." If the answer is "closer to," then you've made the right decision. If the answer is "further from," well, you know what to do." It's something to think about / use whenever we are tempted to do something we know we shouldn't like eat a little more, eat something we know we shouldn't, take the day off of exercise etc. It can apply to many things. It's hard, we will all have days we fail and it just won't work, our minds and bodies are stubborn!! But if we try to use it, follow that thinking each day then most days we will be ok and we will succeed. I hope whichever direction you take for support that you find it and it can help you along. I know you can do it. Look what you've done so far. Amazing! Take care

Hi Kathy. Failure? I think not! We need to tell ourselves that we are already successful. Because we are! I know that sometimes failure seems certain simply because we are accustomed to it. I was a failure at every diet I ever tried. The difference now is that I'm not dieting. Now I've changed my lifestyle. This change is an everyday kind of thing. Everyday I have the opportunity to make choices. I know, upfront, that I won't make the perfect choice each and every time. At least now I understand the difference between good choices and bad choices and also the impact they have on my weight. I'm sorry you are feeling so down right now! I see my psychologist once a month for an hour. She has evening hours and fortunately is covered by my insurance so I only pay $10 per session. Maybe something similar would work for you. I know it really helps me with those feelings of possible failure and also helps me deal with all the changes that I'm going through. Kathy, you are already successful! And, you will continue to be successful. Big hugs, Stephanie

hi there, I am a bit late in responding but yes I have been in OA for a year before surgery as preparation and i still go. It is the only way i can keep my overeating under control - surgery or no surgery. I am blessed with a wonderful group that is totally supportive of my surgical decision. I highly recommend them. It is a 12 step program based on AA that reminds us we are powerless over food (which i am). Food is my drug of choice - like alcohol is for alcoholics. Go for a few weeks, and see if it works for you. dont choose a sponsor right away, observe and find someone who has what you want... then ask them. Good luck and feel free to ask me anything Liz