anyone else some times get discourged?

looking at how much weight everyone has lost is awsome - but it is kind of discoruageing to see where people who have lost less than me are close to goal - not to dis them b/c everyone of us has worked hard for and at this and I know I was HEAVY to start with 372 but sometimes I look at me and think ok so I can wear a size 16 top great - I am still 84 pounds from my "resonable" goal of 170 pounds - and WHER will I be in 84 pounds? what size will I be? I don't seem to have any idea of how I truely look - dh has taken to pointing out other people to me and going you are that size, you are smaller than that - you used to look like her but not any more but it does not seem to be sinking in very well anyone else here?? danni

Danni, Dont let anyone even your hubby compare you to anyone. You are you...special in everyway. You have done great and you will continue too do so. Be proud of how far you have come. Your are a beautiful woman! Dont get discouraged. Trish

Are you kidding? You are looking great! Are you happy? Don't you feel better? You may not realize it, but you are someone I personally wish I could be more like. Sooo dedicated. I read your posts and always think, "If I was more like her I would have lost so much more by now!" Also, It is really hard to realize that we all look so much different. It has happened faster than we have had time to adjust to it. I saw a woman in my support group who had her surgery a week after me. I asked what size she was because she looked great. She wasn't very big to begin with. I thought she would say an 8 or 6 or something. Turns out we are in the exact same sizes! I couldn't believe it. I thought I must be buying my clothes from somewhere that made them much bigger, because there was no possible way I could be her size. Another lady in our support group said we looked exactly the same size. To this day I still think I must just wear my clothes tighter than her. Still can't believe it. Kathy

Hi Danni. You are doing so great. You should be so very proud of yourself. My discouragement comes from my body shape. I weigh about the same as a lot of other people who had surgery in March, yet in my pants I wear a bigger size than them. There are others that weigh more than me but still wear a smaller pant size than me. It gets frustrating. But I am happy with my weight and I am working towards my goal. I try to avoid comparing myself to others because I end up feeling like a failure. Which I am not because I have lost 77 lbs! So, you are doing great. You will need time to see yourself as we see you. It is going to be hard to imagine where you will be when you reach goal but it is going to be amazing to see that goal realized. I wonder what I will look like when I reach goal. I can't imagine it either. But we will get there and it will be wonderful. You are an amazing woman and you are a huge success already, with even greater success to come. Hugs, Robin

danni, like you, I have a hard time with my head keeping up with how my body actually works. I've asked my husband to point other people out to me as well. Everyone compliments me on how much smaller I am and great I look...yet I see myself naked and can't agree with them Go and put on some of your old clothes from pre-surgery and stand in front of the mirror. "model" them just for you. I had to do that with a pair of jeans. I put them on and it really helped my head to see how much progress I've made. I had to go get my picture taken for an official passport last week. The guy had to take a second set of pictures since my head wasn't the right size in the picture. He handed the incorrect ones to take with me. I looked at them and couldn't believe that it was me. Someone without a few chins? Collarbones showing? That can't be me! I look 'normal' in the picture...and I think that sometimes our head remembers what WAS normal for us, not what IS normal for us now. You've done an awesome job and I'm actually jealous of the progress you've made.

Danni, you are doing great! sorry to hear you are feeling bad. You did start at a weight somewhat higher than some, and some where much lower than where others started, so they didnt have as far to go to a goal. You have done amazing! As mentioned you are someone we look up to, you've accomplished so much, the biking you've done makes me tired! LOL It is hard to imagine where we'll be, especially when its so hard to see where we are right now. I had posted on the main board this morning about some new pajama purchases I made this weekend. ( I still feel like the same person, I still feel 345 lbs overall if you know whwat I mean, its hard to comprehend or realize that we arent that size anymore) but I bought PJ's that were "one size fits most" and a pant/top set that was a regular XL from Costco. I just kept telling DH that I fit in a regular XL at a regular store, they fit, it's just weird!! Its weird because I cant comprehend that I am the same as others, that I can wear some things in a "normal" sizing range That I'm not having to buy 5x's anymore to get something to fit. I try to imagine what I look like, what I as an XL person looks like.. Its hard to see sometimes. We are all struggling with this at times. Please dont be discouraged, you have come so far, and have a realistic amount to go. Isn't it fantastic to say I only have 84 lbs to lose... instead of saying ... *sigh* "I have to lose over 200 lbs".. that is depressing and discouraging But WLS has helped us, given us the chance to have a realistic amount of weight to work on losing, to reach a goal. I'm very excited to only have 50 lbs or so to be to a reasonable, realistic goal. I think im going to have to work my butt off to get there, but I'm going to try like heck!! I feel hope that its' only 50 lbs to lose, not 220 lbs or so. Wow look at the difference of those two numbers. That has to make you feel good. Think of the before amount you had to lose and think of all thats left now!!! You CAN do this!!!!!!!!! *HUGS*

Danni, it's so difficult not to compare ourselves to others! I know that I'm jealous that you can wear a size 16 top! I'm firmly ensconsed in a size 20. It will be another six months before I get to a 16 I'm sure! I'm still 79 pounds from my goal weight and that does seem like a ton of weight to lose still. The trick, I guess, is to focus on how far we've come rather than how far we still have left to go. It's definitely something I struggle with each and every day! Keep your chin up. You're really making remarkable progress! - Stephanie

i don't seem to understand what I look like either. It is discouraging to have gone through everything and in my case, still see yourself as looking the same you did when you started. You sound like your right where I am, it doesn't matter what people say you look like, you don't see it yourself. To me a size 16 top sounds great!! Let your hubby keep pointing out those skinny people you look like and remember we don't see ourselves like we really are. We are still stuck in the idea we are the same size we were! Shana