Our ending goals..

Has anyone else noticed people starting to say you need to stop losing before to long? I still want to lose another 30-40 (maybe 50) pounds and anytime I say that people act like I'm going to disappear into nothing. I just don't get what the problem is! Is it that people got so used to us being fluffy the idea of us being skinny is hard to digest? I have another 25 pounds to lose before I finally have a "normal" BMI of 24.9. To me this is something people should be encouraging not discouraging. I'm constantly being told "Oh you probably shouldn't lose to much more, maybe just 5-10 pounds". Well I say NO! I did this surgery for my family and myself and no one else! I think people should support us to lose what we feel comfortable with and no more/no less! Sorry I'm off my soap box now. It feels good to have people say we look good but why does it suck when they start to tell us how much we should lose? Shana

No one has told me to stop losing, but I had someone ask me if I was already at goal--- which was flattering, but also made me laugh cause Im still obese.... I have 46lbs left to lose. Your right, people just arent used to seeing us thinner.... so are trying to keep us some what fluffy LOL

I've found that lots of people, especially those with a more normalized weight have lots of opinions on our WLS process in general, ending with how much they think we should lose and shouldn't lose. It's amazing how many of them are MUCH thinner than we are, but in their opinion we're in jeopardy of "losing too much." Funny b/c many of us are still considered obese when we hear these comments. I really do think people just get used to seeing us a certain size and when we aren't any longer they just don't know how quite to accept it. What I have found helpful with the more weight I lose is not to discuss the numbers as much, but just to keep focusing on how well I feel and how much healthier I am. When you tell someone who weighs 135 lbs that you've lost almost as much as they weigh, I think it is hard for them to wrap their head around. And let me say this - I don't just think the thin folk are the ones with issues about our weight loss. Some of my heavier friends who were used to me always be the heaviest in the crew are having their own set of issues surrounding my weight loss. Turns out they don't feel good being "the biggest one in the bunch!" I say recognize these things exist but don't dare let it steal the joy you have surrounding your successes so far. Have a good day all! Monica

I haven't heard that yet...I just get WOW how much have you lost...and then when I say 88 pounds that act like they don't believe me. It's really wierd...it's like they know I've lost a lot but don't believe there is anyway I've lost that much. I have 30 more pouds to go...I didn't think to see how much I have to go for a normal BMI...gonna have to go check that out now. MImi

23 pounds to go until normal BMI Mimi

I agree with you all. It's like people are so used to seeing as being big they can't wrap their minds around the idea we might get small. I mean I'm 5'9 and weigh 195 right now. I wear a size 12-14 (depending on the style) and people are saying I should stop. If Paris Hilton can be 5'9 and weigh 120 I can be 5'9 and weigh 150-160!! Careful Mimi! BMI's are like an obsession to me. I check mine just about every 5 pounds. I'm an insurance agent and having a "normal" BMI is such a huge deal in my industry I'm slightly obsessed!! I say screw what everyone else says! We're doing this for ourselves anyway!! Shana

Yes, I get this all the time. Especially from my grandmother, lol. I have done so well, but I still want to lose 9 more pounds to put me at my goal of 140. This would put me at a BMI of 24.8. Healthy! Barely, but in the range. My surgeon says I will most likely overshoot my goal, possibily getting down to 115-120, since we usually don't stop losing until the 1 year mark, but will gain some back and level off. I don't want to "look bad". I don't want to be too thin. I think people are just so not used to seeing us thin, they can't help saying we are getting too thin.