### 08/17 What Did Ya Eat Today?

I got an e-mail from my Mum today... it's good news, I just can't be happy about it.... my little brother who just got married July 1st is expecting his first child... a honeymoon baby--- which been a Mormon isn't that odd, many have gone before, and many will do the same after LOL It's very bitter sweet for me... after 5 years of struggling with infertility, and wanting a baby so bad... I feel so selfish cause I feel like "I" should have been the first to give my parents a grandchild... *sigh*... I know it's dumb, but this has totally got me depressed... 7 months to go and we can try again, at a normal healthy weight... I'll just keep counting down... I want to be happy for him, but boy this has completely ruined my day... I knew it was coming though, I knew they wouldnt wait... sorry for the downer today :P ------------------------------------------- Breakfast: 1/2 C Low Fat Cottage Cheese & Diced Fresh Pineapple Snack: 1oz Pepper Jack Cheese Stick & Approx 15 Green Grapes (Big Juicy Delicious Ones) Lunch: Leftovers from dinner last night--- We went to Taco Del Mar & got their Baja Bowl (Pretty much a burrito in a bowl ---no tortilla)--- Rice, Black Beans, Chicken, Cheese, Onion, Sour Cream, Guacamole & Hot Sauce --- Sooo Delicious--- we have them go light on the rice. Snack: 100 Calorie Packet Of Cheetos-- Not great I know Dinner: Chicken Stir-Fry--- Chicken, Snap Peas, Pineapple, Mushroom, Bell Pepper & Red Onion. Water--- Doing much better today, Im finishing off 56oz... and will get some more in later tonight... Approx 778 Calories today, 56g protein

Hi Darlene, sorry to hear this has made you feel bad. I wish you the best of luck in a few months when you're going to try again. I don't know about fertility problems, but hope that it was just a weight issue and being a smaller healthier size will help you out. I hope I didnt say this in a stupid way. LOL Dont want to make you feel any worse. We'll be hoping for you. Food for today.. Breakfast: 1/4 c. LF cottage cheese with 1/2 small tomato Mid morning: 30 gm protein shake Lunch: salad; 1/4 c. lettuce, little cucumber, tomato, onion, 1oz of ham, 1 oz cheese, balsamic dressing. And was in a bummer mood, so felt defiant and bought a bag of sun chips from the machine and ate that at lunch too. Why do we do that to ourselves?? I'm just making excuses to snack now, it sucks!! So still feeling yucky I bought another bag to have in the afternoon if I wanted it... Mid afternoon: And sure enough, ate the other bag before day was out. 140 cal. bag. Dinner: We stopped on the way home, were getting home late had to meet someone for an AchievOne order pick up. So stopped for chinese, I had a little not too much. Some diff chicken pieces, a couple bites of wonton soup and about a 1/4 c fried rice. Eve: AchievOne protein 20 gm protein. I needed my fix! LOL Love these things. My scale just won't budge. Making me depressed. I knw some of us are on stalls again, or it's seeming pretty common now at this time out, but it sucks!! Plan for tomorrow is to measure measure measure. Plan is to not put anything in my mouth that is over 4 oz in size!!! I'm going to carry a measure cup with me!! I just dont know what to do to make the scale move. I really dont think one snack a day should be hurting me. I feel at a loss like this is it. Im an intelligent person I know I shouldnt think this way, but after so many weeks it gets discouraging. I have a lot of whines today but I'll just stop there. LOL

breakfast-protein shake with banana snack-oops forgot because I went walking this morning (2.5 miles) lunch- 1 oz salmon with 1/3 cup green beans snack-protein drink dinner- 1.75 oz salmon with 2 table spoons of green beans snack-decaf/skim latte with scoop of protein power--made it into an iced coffee drink (16 oz--it is taking me almost 3 hours now to drink this darn thing). if I finish my protein latte I will have 679 calories and 92 grams of protein I did pretty good on my water today so far 56 oz. of plain water and another 12 oz. of s/f decaf beverage. have a good evening MJ

B: Protien drink with cappucino Nectar and Carnation Instant Breakfast Low Carb and Skim Milk and Bariatric Advantage multi Vit, B-12, and Citrical Chews L: ( I think I've forgotten) Maybe 40z Dannon Carb and sugar control yougurt and Calcium Chew D: Had Ladies evening with church gals. Ate lots but lots of fun too. WHole WHeat Tortilla Creme Cheese Ham roll ups,Cream CHese Dip and wheat cracker, Meatballs, and cucumbers with cream cheese and shrimp (Darlene's recipe mostly), Ham roll ups, and bite of the filling of my SF cake. I got 2nds on the meatballs and had a couple of bites of a chicken salad sandwich. Way too much food but I lived to tell about it. Late Night snack: This is where I should have stopped. 1 skinny slice of my "mostly" SF cake (Angel food cake w/ sugar, SF cool whip for frosting, and SF pudding and Light cream cheese w/ skim milk for filling.) Later Snack: Leftover Meatballs (SHould have left them at my Mom's) going to bed now so I'll quit!

Darlene, I sorry you are having to go through that, I know what you are feeling as I too went through it with my family my sister had 4 kids and sister in law had 3 all in the first 4 years I was married when we were not able to concieve, then we had our Hailey (lost 80 lbs) Gained it all back plus alot more and we have been dealing with infertility for the past 5 years again. My dr said I have to wait 2 years after my surgery I Will Keep you in my prayer because I know what a hard thing it is to go thru... Keep your chin up you have 7 months to go Anyhow What did I eat yesterday..... B I had half an english muffin with peanut butter and sf jelly L- I had a south beach diet turkey bacon wrap D- We went to Marie Callendars and I had a salad 1 protien drink and about 50 0z of water Went to curves and all vitimains in Jeani