OT: FOR DOG LOVERS!!

I received this from my dear friend Dana and I have to tell you I was laughing out loud at work....so loud I had to share with 1/2 of the department!! This is so our daughter Brooke...ENJOY!! Dear Pets, When I say to move, it means to go someplace else, not to switch positions with each other so there are still two of you in my way. The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. All other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note that placing your paw print in the middle of MY plate and food does not stake a claim making it YOUR plate and food. The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help in your quest to reach the bottom first, because I fall faster than you can run. I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think that I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to one another, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm. For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the kob, or get your paw under the edge of the door and try to pull it open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Honest. Also, I have been using the bathroom by myself for quite some time -- canine or feline attendance is not mandatory. I can't stress this one enough -- kiss me, THEN go smell the other dog's / cat's behind. I have posted the following notice on our front door: Rules for Non-Pet Owners Who Visit and then Complain About Our Pets: 1. The pets live here. You don't. 2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why it's called "fur"niture.) 3. To you, our pets are just animals. To us, they are an adopted son /daughter who happens to be hairy, walks on all fours and does not speak a language that you understand. 4. Dogs and cats are better than kids because: ---- they don't ask for money all the time ---- they are easier to train ---- they usually come when called ---- they don't hang out with drug-using friends ---- they don't need a gazillion dollars for a college education ---- if they get pregnant, we can sell the children. Love, Your Adoring Owner

Love it, love it, love it!!! Just took both of my dogs to vet yesterday. My ****er is 11 years old and my chihuahua is 1. Thanks again, Sheila

to funny - my hubby keeps offerning to get me the sign that says "cat/dog fur the other condiment" b/c we have 2 dogs and 2 cats - not to mention the 3 gerbils 2 of which are found at the moment danni

That is too funny! I must send this to everyone I know with pets! I know they'll love it! Kim