Weight secret

Anyone else not told their S.O. how much they weigh? My husband keeps asking me but until I get to a weight that I can be proud of, I don't want to tell him where I came from. He says that he won't leave me or anything because of a number but that's not even the issue. It's hard to believe that I let myself get as heavy as I did and since I still resemble that person, it's not something that I want to share with someone else. Not even him. Am I alone?

Absolutely not! The only place I talk about it is on here! That information falls under the category "don't need to know"!!!!! After all is said and "lost" I might tell him what I was when I started! So you are not alone!

I don't want to say this in a way to offend... so don't take it this way... But why would you keep that a secret? This is the person you share your life with, share everything with, all your intimate secrets, they love you, your spouse or S/O knows you better than anyone in the world (or should)... WHY would you worry about them knowing how much you weigh?

I was big when I met my husband and got bigger after the kids...he knew I was big but exactly how big he wasn't sure but he knew I was pushing 300. I had no problem telling him I weighed 278 when I had surgery because I am so proud to say ____ pounds until I reach 221 (my prepregnancy weight). He is happy for me at his whopping 156 pounds!!! Mimi

I would never tell a man my weight. Print this out for him, so he knows you are not alone.

I think it isn't so much not wanting to tell him, but perhaps an embarassing thing to reveal. Thank goodness they love us the way we are and I am sure most SO/DH etc. have a pretty good idea how much you weigh anyway. BUT....I would tell my DH almost anything except that - just the way I am I guess....we all think differently I suppose! I don't even like to get on the scales at the doctor's office! (well at least not as my old self!) Who knows why we don't want to tell them!

There are a few reasons why I don't want to tell him. First is because if I have a hard time dealing with it and I've had a long while to process the reasons and numbers, as a thin person he would have an even harder time understanding how I let myself get to that point. Also, though he is a different person now, my reaction to him years ago is what got me into this boat in the first place. I gained some weight after we got married (about 40 lbs over a year) because I don't deal with change well and in the span of that year, I became a wife, he left me for 3 months to go to a boot camp of sorts, I left my life and friends at college, and I had to adapt to being an army wife away from everyone I knew. Then we moved to Germany (and I spoke French, *not* German so that was a HUGE shock). Well, after we get to Germany, pardon my bluntness but I'm here to be honest, he told me after much lying that he was addicted to porn because I had gained weight. It was the biggest betrayal of my life and by my new husband, no less, while I was stranded across an ocean. I thought that we were so far beyond anything physical being an issue so I was blindsided and left in a heap with what I thought our relationship was. I decided that if me gaining weight would hurt him then I would really kick him in the nuts. Fast forward 6 years.. We've talked about things extensively and I've gotten over my issues and with what my heart felt was infidelity but I'm stuck with this weight (and it only crept up because of the more sedentary lifestyle). He has been absolutely wonderful and very supportive and complimentary but there's a part of me that has a hard time trusting him to not be judgemental regarding this. In time I'll get over it when I see that I'm starting to feel proud of my accomplishments and I'll probably tell him then but right now.. I'm still bigger now than I was when the porn thing happened. Just in case you're interested, he's not allowed (yes I said not allowed) the crap anymore.

No, you are definitely NOT alone!!! I will take that with me to my grave! My dh laughs at me for keeping it a secret, but it is strictly a need to know. AND HE DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW. I never want him to know how high up there I got, I'd die of shame. Why would I keep it a secret...? Because it's nobody's business. I'm like the pp who said this is the only place she's divulged that info. I've NEVER told anyone my true weight until recently. And even when I 'm thin I probably won't give it out.

Holy Cow! I tell pretty much everyone what I weighed when I started, how much I've lost and how much I weigh now. Then again when I had my breast reduction 6 years ago I flashed my boobies for anyone who was curious. There are very few things in this life that embarass me and well, I'm pretty open with most stuff. When I weigh myself I call hubby in so we can celebrate together. Tina 315/256/140

Tina, That's so funny~!! I never told my husband my weight because he never asked me. He never knew how much I weighed until he went with me to my first surgical consultation in January of this year. I might add, we have been married 22 years. I am like Tina, I have no problem telling everyone what I started out at and where I'm at now, if I'm asked. My husband doesn't ask, unless he's noticed a significant loss in my physical appearance. He's just funny that way and I've come to not take it personally....but a "hey, you're looking good" from my husband would be nice. But then again, this morning when I was "on top"... he made a happy comment like, "wow, we haven't done this in a LONG time.." made me happy because he DID notice. Anyway, that was probably TMI...but we're all adults here, right? LOL Sandy