Head Hunger

Anyone else having this problem? Ever since my little thought yesterday about failure AGAIN, I have only had food on the brain. It's all that I can think of. I'm busy and doing things , but still it's popping in my head. I haven't had any problems with physical or head hunger until now. I guess the easy part is over?!!!! I struggled with it last night and lost the battle. I guess overall for the day, total calories etc I was still well within any limits, but the idea was that I grazed all evening long!! I confess!!! I made my stir fry dinner. I tried some, had a lil problem so didnt have much. Tried a lil dessert with SF pudding, that was a no go because of the sugar alcohols. Now I wasnt physically hungry but my mind was telling me you didn't really eat, so then I think I had two crackers with cheese on them. A lil while later the popcorn in the cupboard was calling me. I haven't tried any yet, but know some people do it, so of course I tried it. I chewed it, but wouldn't swallow it, so out into a napkin it went (sorry). I ate, or should say I chewed on about a 1/2 bag of the single serving size ones. Still an hour later or so my head was out of whack and I went and had 4 more crackers, this time with PB and SF jelly on them. The thing is I knew when I was going for them that I shouldn't be doing this. I went for the ingredients with like a vengance. Like I was being spiteful, defiant. I was walking to the fridge telling myself I shouldnt be doing this, but that I didn't care. I was going to eat it. And I did, and yes it made my tummy feel a bit blah. I felt it feeling yucky through the first cracker, but I ate all 4. Why do we do these things???? And I thought later.. Ok, I had a bad night, but this doesn't mean to repeat this "grazing" behavior. But I get up today, have my breakfast, take my meds etc, get ready and head to the gym and do my thing. Did some shopping etc. And all I can do is think of food. It was actually getting depressing in the store because I kept thinking of things I wanted but couldnt have. Then trying to figure what to fix for dinner, so looked around at some meats etc. Shopping for food anymore is tough!! Then some things that aren't the best for you, but not really bad I tried to look at, but the carbs etc were way too high, so i passed. I ended up buying some lean ground beef and sweet bulk ground sausage, small package to mix and I'll make some meatballs today if we don't go to dinner with DH's father who is in town. On the way home still, food food food. I had planned to have my protein shake when I got home, but having regular food crossed my mind, but I did stick with the plan and did the shake. So is anyone else out there now at this point in time from our surgery starting to get head hunger? Feeling weak and trying things they shouldn't? Or at least wanting to? I haven't had anything that I shouldn't, I just GRAZED! That is what I shouldn't have done! I don't want to fail at this, but these past two days have got me worried!!

Forgot to mention a possible thought on this. I don't know if my being alone (being bored, etc) had anything to do with my grazing or not. My DH also teaches at the University of Phoenix, so he had a class start last night, so he was not home after work, went straight there and didn't get home until about 10:30 pm. This was his first class since I had my surgery. So wondered if maybe that had something to do with it. That normally he would be here, we'd do other things, or if I expressed my feelings to have something he'd say "you know you shouldnt do that" or something to that affect and I'd move on. He is a great strength!!! So when he came home I told him he can't teach no more! LOL I know I can't blame it on anything or anyone, even if it was the being home alone. Because I am the one responsible for what I do. And yesterdays goal was more water. I succeeded, and am doing great on it again today. So new goal for today on top of that. If you're having any of these struggles too..... Repeat after me..... "I WILL NOT GRAZE TODAY... I will eat only at my planned meal times". I will SUCCEED! Thanks! I know I ramble, but that's just how I am. LOL

it is harder on me to not eat when Tim is not at home - he has worked a couple of night since surgery and I put the kids to bed and literally locked myself in my room with water and had to out loud tell myself NO SNACKING I go back and forth over being obsesive about food and avoiding food. dh rags on my a lot when I am on my I will just drink protien shakes phases and then I eat. of course on the other days he is like did you drink your protien shakes? how much water have you had. remember we are overcoming a LIFETIME of habits here. we are all less then 3 months out (ok most of us) and 3 months is not a long time to retrain your mind. keep with it you will get better - I keep telling myself this and reminding myself what my goals are I will be healthy I will be buff I will be lean I will see my children grow up and enjoy the proses. my goal is NOT skinny at any price a freind tells me " rejioce in your limitations" so when you look at something and can't eat it - tell yourself it is a happy thing right now hugs danni

Hi Ruth Ann, I think my head hunger was the worst within my first few weeks, when I was on liquids. Now, if I feel like I want something I just have it. Take my Oreo obsession. In the past I could sit down and eat a whole bag of Oreos. Now, if I'm feeling the need I'll have two. And I'm totaly satisifed so I go about my business. To be honest I don't know if I've denied myself anything and for me, that's worked. Will it always work? I'm not sure but since it's not broken right now I'm not gonna try to fix it. I'll also confess to you that a week after surgery I tried all sorts of things I should not have, including a Girl Scout cookie! The only things I don't eat are things that have made me throw up. I've not had perogies since I tossed them in the toilet. Haven't had wonton soup (with a wonton) for the same reason. I think most of us will cheat at some point, it's human nature. As Danni said, we are unlearing a lifetime of habits and it's not gonna happen overnight. Hang in there and remember that each day is a unwritten page in the book of your life. Don't think about what you wrote on yesterday's page, focus on the nice clean page in front of you. Hugs, Tina

Hi Ruth Ann, I find that when I start to graze, it's because I need to sit down and eat a balanced meal. My body is trying to tell me that it needs fuel. I try not to focus on whether I ate something "bad," because I know I'm not perfect and am going to mess up sooner or later. I think more about whether I got in all the "good" stuff that I need. That's the most important thing. Something that helps is I got a couple of cookbooks for WLS patients that have some great recipes, so it is easier to make food that is good for me. I also bought a great book "Success Habits of Weight Loss Surgery Patients" by Colleen Cook. In there, she talks about things that are commonly done by people who are successful in maintaining weight loss long term. It's very inspirational. Hang in there! You're NOT a failure. Cathe