Living Will

Hi everyone, My surgery is on 3/14 so went to the hospital today for pre op stuff. While there they handed me a booklet on having a living will. I have to say I wasnt nervous until I received that and started reading it...kinda freaked me out a bit I guess. Has anyone else established one of these? Also, has anyone written letters or anything in case there is a complication? I wasnt going to do that either but now Im thinking I should because I have 4 kids that are little and wont understand...uhoh, I think Im getting a bit nervous.... Michelle

Hello Michelle-I can understand your feeling slightly nervous about this stuff, but it is really very standard for anyone undergoing any surgery where you're being put under general anesthesia. There is always a remote chance of complications up to and including the really scary d-word. But, try not to let that cloud your decision-making about what is best for you and your family. I had my will drawn up, but I do not have children so it was no big deal to me. I even told them that I want to donate my organs if the worst should happen, because I know that even though it's possible it's not probable and if I die I would at least like to help someone else live. I chose to do this surgery to improve my life and to start living the life I want to live not this slow progression into death by remaining overweight for the rest of my life. I want to get married and have a family, but I need to start taking care of myself first before I will be ready to take care of anyone else. I have been helping others for so long that I lost sight of myself, and I am reclaiming my self-worth with having this surgery. I am now 8days post-op, and the surgery was not easy I had a few minor complications with problems breathing and loss of too much blood also they had trouble waking me up from anesthesia, but I made it through. I went to sleep the morning of the surgery and woke up that afternoon with my worried mother by my side cheering me on and it was a little scary but I just kept thinking I can make it and I have so many good things to look forward to. I am struggling now with the frustration of being on a clear liquid diet for the 2 weeks post-op, but this too shall pass. I just keep telling myself that its such a small thing in comparison to the greatness of losing all this weight that has kept me down so long. I have already lost probably about 15lbs, and I can already tell that my face is less round than before. So, just remember that it is a blessing everyday that we live and anything can take life from us at any time but this surgery is your best decision for regaining a better life and it's very unlikely that the surgery would end the life you made for yourself. I am only 33, but I know that I have had friends who have died at age 29, 28, and a few people I knew even younger so I know it is important to have a plan just in case. Especially if you have young children, I think you should definitely do what you can to be sure they will be taken care of without you and I know that sounds so frightening but again it is a fact of life that we will all die sometime and it would be more cruel to do nothing to prepare for it. I think of all the young people I know who have passed on most were under cir****tances out of their control, but they left everyone they knew having to handle the loss in their own way and the family always suffers the most. I am sorry that I am not being more upbeat about this stuff. I think it is healthy to feel nervous about surgery but my point is that it's going to be okay and this living will stuff is just something you have to do and it's a good thing too. Hope I helped in some way to let you know everything will be OK. Take care.

Hi Michelle, First let me say OMG , I have the same Feelings .. MY surgery is on the same day and my name is also Michelle lol I have a lil girl who's 6 and my stomach has been in knots since I got the date .. I've sorta been on a "go w/the flow" state .. I know that this is something i want and deserve for myself.... I find to be saying I love you more often than usual.. wierd huh? I believe in God and I believe he will guide me on the right path.. My husband has been great, Everytime he sees that im freaking out about something he gives me a hug and tells me evetything will be ok. I believe feeling nervous is NORMAL ... or Atleast that is what im telling myself..lolol My thoughts and Prayers are and will be with you...I will look for you on the message board.. 4 more well almost 3 days and counting! Talk soon, Michelle

As yet another Michelle, I feel the need to reply. My surgery date is March 16 and I am pretty freaked for all the same reasons. I had an adjustable band put in a couple years ago and it is not working for me so they are going to remove it and do the RnY in one surgery. I am really scared of potential complications. I just got married last year, have a great job and want to come back to it all. All I can do is pray and wait to wake up and breathe a sigh of relief. I will be thinking of both of you and plan to check back in on the message board. -Michelle F.

Michelle, Let me ease your mind a little, that is a law passed by the federal government to provide that information to anyone who does not have a living will or a durable power of attorney. Next, it doesnt hurt to have this for future problems, not necessarily this surgery. I am nurse, and I have only recently filled out to give to my husband. Read through it, it is cir****tancial, and you can define what you want and dont want done in certain situations.