when i was diagnosed i decided to come back to ohio to be nearer to my kids- was not sure what kind of physical help i would need and there are enuff of them here to drive me places etc if i can't. it has been a whirlwind nasty move but i am so glad to be back here- today had a wonderful visit with my eldest granddaughter- don't know how or when  it happened but she is 14 now! anyhow being here is great to be close to them...tomorrow i have a lunch date with my younger son.

i'm not working at all so there is a big strain but we will get thru and i will get work. i was a full time student before dx also- am anxious to get back to school but i am afraid that many of my credits won't transfer so i may have to double take some classes. i should be half way thru my associates but i want my masters- i want to be a social worker and my passion is to help caregivers and the elderly.

funny-last summer i took the Psychology of Death and Dying and had to plan my funeral as one assignment and write a letter to be read at my funeral as another. I've printed them out and put them where my kids know but i have no intention of using them for many many years!!!!!

thank you, i know that you mean it!

Dear Marchers, how is everyone? Happy March! I haven't been "home" in a very long time; it feels much like a long anticipated family reunion; I hope everyone is doing well and I look forward to hearing your stories and catching up.  While my anniversary is March 8, I thought I would share a little about where I'm at and again, I so look forward to hearing from you. Like Pam, I struggle with weight regain. I swear, all I have to do is think about food and I've gained. I have done some research and like everything, there is a reason for this - cause and effect - and it has to do with how the old gut has evolved since surgery. Let me know if you're interested in learning more and we can chat through email. My labs continue to come back insufficient in calcium and Vitamin D, even though I have supplemented religiously since surgery. I now have pre-osteoperosis and my body continues to leach calcium from my bones. Otherwise, my weight is stable at between 170-175 - it feels way too heavy for me and I try mightily to lose a little weight but I just can't seem to be able to shed it, no matter what I do. So, I continue living my life - still riding, which is my greatest pleasure. It keeps me fit, physically and mentally. My daughter is off living her life in Montreal; my son is 18, graduated high school but does not want to go to college or join the military. He still struggles trying to figure it all out. I lost my Dad on January 10th and I miss him terribly - was fortunate to get there in time and spend the last two days with him, and was able to hold him as he passed from this world. All we can do is strive to live life to the fullest because the one thing we know for sure is that it will be yanked from each and every one of us eventually. Live, Laugh, Love. No matter what the scale says, no matter the gray hair, no matter the new wrinkles - Live, Laugh, Love. God bless you all, your Reenie

a few words about diets...dont do them!
now that im use tonot eating certain things i really don't miss them that much. sometimes when i am around them i think gee i remember those i use to really like ----- fill in the blank -----but now that i've not had it why start it again? so i don't
this past week the boyfriend took me to a fantastic wine dinner. new flavors with every course of wonderful food. i dont drink. never couldhandle it and now with all the sugar its just not worth the possible issues that it could give me. didin't miss it.
there were chocolate at the end. yummmm i treated myself to one piece and i ate it slowly it was wonderful. i enjoyed it very much. sooo good.
i didn't have anymore other than that one piece and still today i can remember how very good it was! the best part is there is a box of 4 other pieces in my fridge right now but i have not touched them! in the past i would have eaten all of them in 5 seconds then bought more an stuffed them in!
sooooo what i have figured out is that while i will alwasy have the struggle of trying to lose weight the surgery has helped me in so many more ways then i ever thught it had.
i've kept off over 100 pounds! omg thats fantastic!
and now  i'm the most careful of what i eat ever in my whole life. its helped me with that too. never would i have left chocolate alone! its likei've been cured. please know that this is said with just a slight hint of joking!
my 8th anniversary of my rebirth is wonderful. this is the month of reminders and deep thinking about how my life has changed for the good.
life is very good.

ok so there are certainly harder things to fight then weight but this is what has consumed me for most of my lifetime.
i willnever give up!
right now i write down each thing that i eat each day. tracking calories it is what is helping me to not continue to gain.
am i obsessed?
yup!
but not to the extent that i am doing foolish things like not eating. thats not an option for me. gotta eat every 2 to 3 hours or the low blood sugar messes me up so yeah i am obsessed.
if i don't eat i get sick. if i eat i gain weight. hummmm this is my insanity! LOL
i loveit when the scale goes down. i hate it whenit goes up but as long as it maintaines i'm moderately happy! with weight anyways. other parts of mylife are great.
my boyfreind is taking me to a very nice winery this weekend for their ultra classey event! its a wine makers dinner. catered fancy dress ball like atmosphere. looking forward to it very much.
i have 5 fancy dancy dresses in my closet.
one is from my lowest. sure i shoud take that out but i love that dress and i have a dream tht someday i might be able to wear it again!
two is from my next to lowest size. awwww what a beaufiul dress. i wore that one to my daughters wedding. i felt fabulous in it. wont part with it.
three is my fancy new years eve dress that i wore for yes 4 new years eves it is the middle sized that i maintained the longest before i because sick with the low blood sugar.
then four is a new one that i bought in a moment of omg this is lovely never wore it thank god i didn't pay much for it. its too tight. it shows the rolls no spanks will squeeze them in enough so i keep it cause i i lose the 15 extra i'mcarrying it will fit great. it could be my new years eve dress of the future!
the last is my one and only designer dress. got it on a clearance rack in a small shop in mystic it is very pretty flowy style dress. with a scoop neckline decorated with beautiful tiny beadwork black the beadwork is a dark gray i'm not describing it good but i like it very much and feel pretty in it. it acents my neck and shoulders and while the boobs aren't big it highlights them and takes away from the pear shape hippy tummy with the gentle flow. its below the knee. the material is something i'venever had or seen since. it was worth every penny of its original price i'mthrilled that i got it for a quarter of what it would have been.
this dress is one that i can wear now with the extra weight and later when i lose.
i'm positive that i will lose that 15.
the change i have now is my attitude.
in the past i think i depended too much on the surgery thinking that o i have a small stomach. yes for the most part that worked. but when you ave to eat as many times during the daytimne that i do its alittle hard to keep the calories were they need to be.
my job is one where i' on the road all day drivin to customers then speaking its in and out andin and out most times i can not take time to pull off the road to eat a salad my lunches and snaks need to be finger foods. i need my protein and a good carb. so grapes and chees sticks rolled up sliced meat something that i can grab from my ice chest and snack on.
then i need to keep things tht will boost my sugar right away if i should crash.
a crash will hapen to me when i sometimes get very exctied. the addreniin pumps so if i score a great sales then i' get so thriled tht it spikes then it drops so i better have that with me. trust me i've got it all down pat. i'm getting to be an expert! hahaha
everyone is different so foods effect each of us with this differently. i can't eat yellow bananas too much sugar but my friend uses them for hers wthout any problems. she can't tolarate seedless grapes those are my helper food.
forget about white anything - bread potatoes rice too much sugar. sweet potatoes are ok for me as long as i do not over cook them.
watermelon - love it can't eat it.
i do treat myself on sundays with a decaf coffee with cream. other than tht too many calories and the slight decaf that is in it sets me off so i keep it to my treat on sunday.
blah blah blah not sureif anyone is reading this post is as much for me as anyone who mght be dealing with low blood sugar.