Recent Posts
God has given me this day to use as I will. I can waste it or use it for good. Today is very imporant, because I'm exchaning a day of my life for it.
(Highest weight ever 263)
Weight day of surgery ~ 244 then weighed 255 when I came home from surgery
Lowest weight ~ 169
Current weight ~ 234 ~ I've gained 18 pounds in the last 2 months!!
Co-Morbities before surgery~diabetes, high blood presure. I have it all again and am on medicine for all of this. Plus more pills! I was taking 14 pills a day when I had surgery and now I take 8.
Related to surgery ~anemia
Emotional issues~ depression, depression, depression!!! I am never full and I want to eat all the time. I don't eat a lot at one time, just graze day and night! I am in the same shape I was in 6 years ago! My feet, legs,back,neck, arms and hands hurt all the time.
Does this sound like my life is in the toilet? Well, if was not for my wonderful, I don't know how I could cope with this!
But, I'm going to start over again in the morning!! I can't give up hope!
I'll let you know how I do.
I Love y'all and thanks for being my friend!
God has given me this day to use as I will. I can waste it or use it for good. Today is very imporant, because I'm exchaning a day of my life for it.
"To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream, not only plan, but also believe" ----"Anatole France"
"Joyously grasp the ties that bind you, for they lead straight to the heart"---"Wm."
Kimberly...
An old cop trick for blocking the smell of dead bodies is to smear a little Vick's Vaporub between your top lip and nose. Don't put it in your nostrils.
OK girl, keep up the good work. I'm proud of you!
i'm heading out the the gym in 10 minutes.
this past week while off i've been trying different times of the day to see which one is quietest at the gym. when i first started going at 7pm after work was great! then after the new year all those people and they new years resolutions started. so now its filled. i go to veg i don't want to see others and listen to them talk about what they are or are not eating. and i'm sorry to say this but i do NOT want to see or smell them sweat.
geesh louise people! get some deordorant! use it! ok so i understand people sweat i know hey thats a good thing they are doing sweating up a storm and gettting all nice and fit. but do they have to do it right next to me? a non-sweater? i only sweat when i get a hot flash.
and when they sweat they are usually running at 6.3 miles per hour while i am doing a swift walk at 2.9 but the worset of it is their sweat is flying around along with their arms and legs so my poor glasses get splashed on. sorry for the graphic talk here ladies and gentlement. i'mjust jealous of the sweaters. it makes me lose my thoughts when i'm trying to talk myself into walking up to 3.0 geesh!\
so last night i tried this eplitical thingy. please forgive the spelling. you stand in it and move your legs whiel holding onto these arm thingys. the blond 20 year old size size double Zero who explained it to me said you really get a good work out on it. okkkk dokey
i felt like i was doing the split while walking the mall. blondy said to start slow like 30 minutes i barely did 2. i was on the lowest level. then i went to my true and trusty treadmill. now that i like plus mr smelly sweaty man wasn't anywhere in sight. so what i have found is mr smelly sweaty man doesn't go to the gym at 5pm. so that could work if my job lets me out earlier to go to the gym. hummm not gonna happen.
maybe if i brought one of those pine scented christmas tree car deordantas? hummmmmmmmm
time to walk!
O I'm just posting comments all over the place!
i still feel good. i feel better than i did almost 6 years ago. i can do more than i ever could. now that the LBS is under control I feel the best that I have in many years.
the reason i had the surgry was my knees which were shot. talk was replacement but now they are fine. arthritis doens't go away but not having all that extra weight has made a difference.
perscription wise i'm still taking my allergy meds and now have added thryoid meds. i never had to take that before but again thryoid is something that happens in my family. in fact my doc thinks that i might have been fine with meds years ago that it might have helped the weight thing. i dont buy into that one but i know it has helped other issues.
i'd like to drop 10 pounds. thats not alot of weight and i think for anyone it should be doable. but i have no metapolisum. i never did. the excersize should help the thryoid meds should help the keeping to a healthy diet should help but i have a very big thing against me. age. after you get to a certain point you don't lose as well as you should. so i have to work extra hard to hopefully get to were i want to be.
emotional difficulty with food for me isn't a big issue right now. mainly cuase i feel so much better eating the right way. food was always an addiction and always will be an addiction for me. i did love right after the surgery how food was no big deal. didn't thik about it at all and wasn't hungry ahhhh those were the days! if that could have been permanet i'd have loved that!
I did have the fear of regain don' twe all get that? thats why i turned to laxatives. not something i recommend!
i take my vitamins, D, B's, also fish oil, calcium. my blood checks out perfect. i just had another bone desity test which was perfect. also my mamogram! now if only that stupid pap thing woudl get right i'd be thrilled. oh well can't have it all huh?
a friend of mine passed away this week. he was only 65 and recenty retired. i was in the fire dept with him and use to babysit for his kids when they were young. he was over weigth maybe not excessivly so. i havne't gotten the details yet. i'll be going to his wake this weekend.
i think that i am happy for the life that i have right now. i'm trying to live it the best that i can. i try to do good things for others. i smile and tell people how much they mean to me. i try not to dwell on the bad and think of the good that i have.
i'm thankful for life.
i wish everyone here all of my friends the lurkers too good things to come their way. please enjoy your life look at the sky even if its rainey and think of how the water helps us. if it snows (and i hate snow!!!) see how each flake is different and beautiful the sun will come out again.
lowest weight 156
weight i held the longest 167
current weight 181
i'm working out at the gym every day and have been for 2 weeks now. finally got some money ahead and was able to purchase the year membership so i'm going to be vry sure to get my moneys worth. i'm doing some eliptical machien that i can't stay on for more than 5 minutes. then i do the treadmill for 30+ next week is weights.
i have to eat dense protein like meat chicken that type of thing if i eat cottage cheese it doens't last me 2 hours. i need to go for 2 to 3 hours between meals for the LBS the dense protein will help me do that so i have my beloved cottage cheese for night time snack. same thing with my greek yogurt. too thin. i have tried adding powdered whey protein that helps a bit to make it last. I also drink water 30 minutes before a meal. but no liquids for 1 and half hoursafter. rare to sip with meals unless the meat i'm eating is very dry.
i eat a normal sized serving of meat. like the size of the palm of my hand. along with some vegi's or brown rice. those things are about at half a cup. i'm full when done. and it lasts.
i can drink 8 oz of water in about 10 minutes time but i can't gulp it or drink it right down or it hurts.
i still need to chew things very well or they might get stuck and that hurts.
i can no longer eat frut that is too sweet or it bothers my LBS.
The LBS was not brougth on by the surgery but was brought on by my abuse of laxatives.
my old food addictions did swtich gears. i'm ended up being addicted to my weight and obsses about it to the point where i used the laxatives. i have an addictive personality so if its not food its gonna be something else. right now its the games on facebook. i have to push myself away from that to do productive things.
I've got alot to say and not enought time or computer space to say it!
so far i've had a great week off from work. i've been extremely lazy. haven't done half of the cleaning i'd planned and not touched a paint brush. what i have done is play game on facebook.
I also went shopping one day with my daughter and her best freidn who's like anotehr daughter to me. the friend recently had the band surgery and has lost 35 pounds. she is in a wonderful mental state because she's not been this thin in many years. she's young i'm thrilled that she is in the place that she is in right now. it also reminded me how i felt at that point. it was a nice day. i cried when she tried on pants in sizes she'd never worn before. it was good to see smeone so happy.
i also babysat my boyfreinds grandchild!!!!! she is a little doll. her mom and dad were going for an ultra sound to see how far along they are with thier new little one. its just a few weeks. they are due sometime in sept. they are good parents.
tomorrow i plan on either going to a movie, or to the casino, or more shopping.
i went to the outlets on one day and bought a new coach wallent that was nice. i enjoyed that alot.
my animals will hate it when i go back to work next week....so will I!!! but i am thankful that i have a good job and pray that i do not become a statitistic
Weight day of surgery: 358
Lowest weight after surgery: 138
Current weight: 164
Goal weight: 140-145
Co-morbidities day of surgery: diabetes, hypertension, GERD, sleep apnea
Co-morbidities remained or have reoccured despite surgery: Have lived totally free of medications for any of these issues since I left the hospital in 2004, however, my PCP is very concerned that the diabetes has returned - I will be formally tested in about 3 weeks.
Medical issues related to surgery (suspected or diagnosed): reactive hypoglycemia, anemia
Are you experiencing emotional difficulty with food (thinking about it all the time, eating too much of it, binging, purging, eating too little for fear of regain, etc.) If so, please explain. YES. I want to eat all the time. I am constantly painfully hungry. I NEVER feel full, I NEVER experience pain or discomfort from eating too much or too fast. The best way I can describe where I'm at is that it feels like I have a gaping hole in my gut that never gets filled. I am out of my mind with this. I also have a very serious addiction to chocolate and no matter what I do, no matter my resolve, promises to God, etc., I have not been able to go a day without chocolate for about a year and a half. It makes me feel miserable. I have recently found a psychotherapist whose expertise is eating disorders - have not met with her yet but I'm hopeful this might help turn things around for me.
Current medications: None yet but I fear Avandia is back in my cupboard sooner than later.
Current vitamins: multi (pre-natal), D-3, 1200 mg. calcium, b-12 sublingul, b-12 shot monthly, c and iron taken together, e - and still my blood levels are critically deficient in calcium, D, and iron.
Anything you want to add: The best way I can describe the way my body feels is brittle. I feel brittle and extremely tired and older than my years. Some days I feel like if someone huffed and puffed and tried to blow me down, I'd fall like a deck of cards. I don't feel well. I feel ill.
And I'm scared.
Your turn - please do this! Ok? Maureen
