Margo, you sound overwhelmed and since you can't easily solve your financial problems, you and Michael are both lashing out at what you feel can withstand these very tough times - your marriage. Oh, how I know the feelings you are describing. There is no easy answer and nothing I can say to you in this post will help you except to say i do understand. You and Michael need to be friends and need to be working together to get through these very real, very difficult times. Decisions need to be made and then followed through on to make things better for both of you - better jobs need to be found for one or both of you that perhaps may offer health insurance options; or enlist help like food stamps, Medicare, government assistance, whatever is available to you in your region.  Taking stock of what you're spending on what and prioritizing is a must for all families and couples right now, no matter their cir****tances - Jim and I were fighting last night over our retirement funds - what little I have "saved" in my TIAA/CREF account, I want to yank it and stash in my wall or mattress before it evaporates, which it surely will over the next year. Jim says, no - ride it out - I think that is the stupidest thing to do right now - plain stupid! Ride what out??? The government is continuing to line the pockets of the wealthiest CEOs in the country, only now it's on our dime, our tax dollars - and the backs of our children ... no relief for any of us, but boy, those executives are still getting their fat paychecks! It's going to get worse and worse until it really all crashes, just like the early 1930s, there's no doubt in my mind - you have to pull yourself up, Margo, and do what you can for yourself, with whatever resources you have available to you - in partnership with your husband ... for better or for worse ... and if there truly is absolutely no meaning left for you or Michael in those words, then you have to look at that and figure out what to do next. Look to yourself - look to your own inner strength to get up and get going - there are decisions that you need to be making; no one can make them for you, my dear friend. Be well - ah, I hate the winter as well ... it's cold and dark and at times seems intermitable - but oh, the days when the sun shines! And those nights, when we can hunker down and snuggle close to keep warm ... think of those moments, all the blessings we have, every day - Michael is just a man, just a person - who could use you, his wife, his partner - just a woman, just a person ... to reach out and take his hand, and start figuring things out together. Love you, M.

Poor Man's Crabcake

1 can of drained tunafish
1 egg
1Tbsp light mayonaise
1Tbsp of Italian breadcrumbs
1Tbsp of Parmasiean cheese
1-2 Tbsp of Old Bay Crab Seasoning
and a good spray of light nonstick olive oil
1/4 slice of PepperJack cheese optional

Drain your can of tunafish, add and mix all the ingrediants together (except olive oil and cheese). Form into small hamburger like patties. Spray your nonstick skillet with the olive oil spray. Gently fry each pattie approx 3 minutes on each side till golden brown. Add the cheese ontop to melt....then enjoy!!!

Makes about 4 med-small cakes

This is a very easy, quick meal...I like mine with alot of oldbay seasoning...it takes the tuna taste out and it is very very good.It taste like the title says..."poor man's crabcake". Also this is loaded with protein and good for you. Hope you like!!!  

hi marchers- this post was originally put on the tuesday what's new  on the over fifty forum (OFF)  -each day someone starts a thread- we get pretty familiar over there so a lot of it may not make sense to you but if you read it thru you will get my drift..... i want you to see how my day went today-it started out with promise-

tonite i am close to tears and i am going to bed simply to stay out of the kitchen..i am pretty numb....
things are civil around my house tonite but the air is thick enuff to cut with a knife.......
 

Margo M. Lindsey, OH Victor Stelmack, M.D.,F.A.C.S RNY (03/26/04) Member Since: 09/25/03 [Latest Posts]

Post Date: 11/11/08 6:26 am morning! aime thanks for starting us..oh my ..i had no idea you thought you had contributed to norronda's passing..aime you should not have been carrtying that burden alone.... it's cold and i am thinking of going back to bed for awhile...both dogs have been out and they are all snuggled up with michael...hmmmm..... judy- you can keep the lake effect snow--it is always worse where you are than i will see here-naaa naaa !!! well michael is up and so are the dogs-so much for that thought! maybe i should go cook something warm for breakfast.... yesterday, i asked the tech ppl on OH to give us an American flag -all of the emoticons are great but we need some patriotism!!! well- rambling so-later! hugs and prayers to all.... Not everything you face can be changed, but everything you change must first be faced. Age is like underwear, it creeps up on you

Margo M. Lindsey, OH Victor Stelmack, M.D.,F.A.C.S RNY (03/26/04) Member Since: 09/25/03 [Latest Posts]

Post Date: 11/11/08 11:28 am me again and answering my own post so aime isn't bothered by it... fixed a nice breakfast then got dressed- we had to go pick up some stupid stuffed animals michael got from freecycle- the grandkids  don't need these huge things- anyhow- major major screaming match in the car on the way home- he got out and started towalk- no coat-jeans and sandals- how stupid-  i got him in thecar and drove home- screaming at each other all of the way...i went to bed to stay out of the way -took the dogs with me- he went up on the roof of the  to blow off leaves- and now he is blowing them out of the yard.. i cannot go through anymore of this ....i just am too tired............is this a seasonal thing? is it a meds thing? is it just from feeling poor? just had to tell someone no one else to tell my kids don't hear me and my mother would just tell me how it was with her husband before he died.. i feel like this could be the end of the marriage i am tired of trying to be strong i want to be alone if this is how it is going to be......

Stop what you're doing and no matter what, let's all be gut honest. It's 11:43 Eastern Savings Time (EST, on the east coast). Nearly noon. Nearly lunchtime. This is when I get into real trouble. So help me out - this is an experiment.  Just tell me EVERYTHING YOU'VE EATEN SO FAR TODAY. From the time you got up until this moment, what have you eaten? I'll go first:

7am - protein shake, w/ the powder, 3 strawberries, and yogurt, ice, and water
10:30am - 1 sugar-free piece of chocolate (my own!)
11:40am - 1 small apple w/ a very small amount (maybe 1/2 teaspoon) of natural peanut butter

Ok, your turn!!! Consider this a sort of wls pulse check on how we're doing with what we're eating. This can only help us!!! M.

Glad you caught this, Kim. Between you and Connie, this is a very stark reminder that no matter how much we feel like we have "normal" operating systems - we don't. We've been carved up, re-routed, and stitched together like the gizzards of a handmade doll, and the only one that is truly responsible for taking care of us is - US. My doctor gets this - I'm lucky. Really lucky, that when I stumble upon something, or when one of my own (like Connie) stumbles upon something that may or may not impact my health, I can present it to him and he will act on it - no matter what he thinks - because he knows he is NO EXPERT in this still relatively foreign terrain of post-wls health and/or complications. Be vigilent! I'm getting my bloodwork done this week - and pulling the Vitamin D labs because of you guys - I advise everyone take a look at this. Be well Kim. And be heartened that you're on the right track to feeling better. M.