happy pills blab blab blab

yesterday i went to my general practictioner. She is an awesome doctor. I made the appointment becasue I didn't know what else to do. I'm so stressed by work, relationships, money woes, my son getting married in a matter of weeks, my daughre getting enaged and moving far away. i'm jsut having such a hard time of it all. i dono't say anythign to the kids becasue they would worry and its a happy time for them so i try to deal. not doing good at it at all. i called my old therapist but she isn't covered under my new insurance and i just don't have the money to spend 120 for an hour of anyones time. but the insurance will pay for me to visit my general phsyicain. as soon as she came in the door i said dont' talk nice to me cause i'll cry then i started to ball like a baby in wet pants with a empty tummy. she sat and listened to me. we talked and talked. shes great as a listener and can give good insite too. ended up where she gave me a mild pill. to help take the edge off my worries. i won't be on it for long lexpro i think is the name of it. i'm not a big pill kind of person in fact this is the first pill that i've taken since i had my surgery over 2 years ago! i crushed it up and took it with applesauce. didn't have any problesm that i know of. i don't feel any difference right now other than i'm tired because it did keep me up last night. i hope that doesn't happen again! i think i do feel alittle bit calmer. i dont' know if thats the pill or if i'm just pooped for lack of sleep! i do feel good that i'm at least on the right start of trying to get this all figured out. i've also got a call into my HR director to find out what benifits we do have for mental health. i hate using that mental health tag geesh! i'm jsut worried right now i'm just a slight basket case not a major nut case...yet! one good thing is that tonight i tackled my check book that i'd put off for a few weeks! got the bills lined up and ready for the next pay check. on the good side i've got plans with a sick friend for the weeknd. she broke her leg and is trapped right now in the middle of the city next to the buildign were she works. she is an office manager for a large lawyer firm. she broke her leg in front of their office. while she lives out of the city she is unable to drive. because of the break she isn't to put any weight on it at all. it had to be pinned and plated in 3 places! they've never trainded anyone else to do her job! they were pretty much in the dark but she coujdlnt' drive and coudln't manauver the wheelchair in the middle of the city. yes i nkow there are people who do that all the time but this is different. anyways the owner of her firm has paid for her to stay for the next few weeeks in a very very nice hotel/conventiuon center right next to their firm. they have someone who comes in the morning and pushed her wheelchair to work then takes her home at night. shes trapped at the place on the weekends. her daughters live way out of state and her mother is alone out of state too. so friends have pitched in to help her along. 2 weeks ago i stayed with her. it was fun! hey sleeping late in a room where someone else comes to make the bed! the complimentary breakfast was a full eggs, sausage, bacon, toast, bagels, fresh fruit, cottage cheese you name it buffet! we had a blast! i took her to the mall that was fun too. wse hadn't gone off like that ever and it had been awhile since we had talked other than the phone so it was a girls weekend that rocked. this weekend we are going to the comedy club that is at the hotel. its been nice for her and took her mind off her troubles and its been a help for me too. I hope everyone is doing well. goodluck and god bless pam