Checking In

How is everyone doing? Drop a line to let us know how goes the war. It is that, isn't it? A battle, a struggle, good days, bad days...I find myself going up 3 pounds, dropping those 3 pounds and then another 2, and then going back up 4 or 5 pounds -- all in a week's time. I don't think this trend is any better for my heart than when I was super morbidly obese. I have been able to stay in the mid-140's for some time now and would dearly love to get to 135. Numbers, numbers, numbers. In the meantime, I move. I keep moving and I remind myself to love that I'm able to move -- I'm quick and light on my feet but I still don't trust that I have a center of gravity. Am terrified when it comes time to dismount my horse, simply terrified. It's as if there's nothing there, it's just me up there in the clouds, no terra firma to be found. There are days when I am absolutely certain I am back in the 300s, no doubt in my mind, I feel that huge. This is simply irrational. I keep waiting for this aspect of the journey to get better. It's just plain weird. There you have it. How 'bout you? Let's reconnect. I need you. Reenie

Rennie~ I think after two years anything becomes a battle. I too have found that I struggle with 5lbs here and there. I find myself at times going back to old habits. Just need a slap every now and then. Glad I can come here to see that I am not the only one. Have a great day! Marissa

Reenie, You are not alone. I am having mostly bad days here lately and I just had my tummy tuck. It could be the swelling. I find myself wanting to go and join that Herbal Magic just to get these last 20lbs off. I wish I were in the 140's, but I know what you must be going through to stay there. Well we have to just keep going and learn to enjoy the moment we are in. That is what I am trying to do. Good Luck! Rhen

Reenie, Still here...still drinking protein drinks...still see food as the enemy...and still apparently have a negative body image. My fear before WLS is that I would fall in public. Over the years I've done this numerous times and was horrified that I would do a repeat perfomance at any time. Bad knees and a awful sense of balance were to blame. I'm about half the size I used to be and I still have that sense of dread in the back of my mind, falling and making a complete fool out of myself in public. I fear uneven ground, curbs, broken sidewalks, twigs, pebbles, etc...so I definitely understand the fear you have in getting off of your horse. Va

I'm still here. Nothing new to report. I'm over the stomach bug and now my wife has it.......what a joy!! As for the food and the weight......every day is a struggle. One nice thing about the stomach bug........I didn't even think about eating.....Oh well!! Mike

Still hear and fighting the good fight. But I have just come to know that I'm one of those people who will have to watch what they eat for their entire lives. Oh well, I can't live with that. Training for the Torch Run. If interested go to : www.somt.org and look up the info on the torch run.

Forgot to mention, I'm involved in the Hlelena to Great Falls leg.

hi everyone i'm here way to busy as usual but working at making myself have a calmer life. i too feel like my life revolves around numbers. along with my weight, calories, fats, BMI, protein, and then add in work goal amounts i live for numbers. one thing that i am very comfy with now that I couldn't do at all back then was wear heels! I LOVE heels! i have a very nice collection of heeled boots, high heel shoes, heeled sandles, did you knowyou can get sneakers in heels now too? before I could only wear flats. if i worn heels i would fall over and my knees were in a terrible state. forget my poor hips the pain oh the pain! now i wear the heels and i swear to god you get a whole differnt walk when you wear them! anyone else have that power look at me i'm wearing heels walk?????

Hi Reenie & Gang I am here too!! After a week of antibiotics for the Kidney infection I have dropped 10 pounds & looks like it is going to stay off. I was getting real worried before I found out about the infections as the weight was going up & Up with no end in sight. But, apparantly I was retaining any kind of liquid that I was drinking because of the infection in the kidneys. I feel LOTS LOTS better & just thrilled that the weight has come back off. I still never got to goal weight or even close, but maybe now I will have the where with all to continue & keep the weight going DOWN. I also have cut the coffee to only 3 cups a day & do not drink anymore after leaving the house in the A.m. No one else drinks it at my new office. (that is a good thing i think) It has made be go back to more water. By the way I need this board too! So lets make sure we all stick together in this fight. My local support group is dwindling at best & just can't seem to do much to get them back. We (the one that do go) have tried everything to get them back with no luck. Talk to you all later Marilyn, the Bearlady

Still here too, Still working 50 hours a week at the new job, but I am getting ready to go to Seattle for 6 days this weekend for my brother in laws wedding. I have never been to Seatle so it should be fun. My husband and I have new "room mates" a friend and her 10month old daugher moved into the downstairs of our house while she gets on her feet. She is in the process of leaving the baby's drunk A** father. Fortunately they are not married so no divorce proceedings to deal with. Got extensions put in my hair today very interesting. Leslie