My Rant About Size

I admit it, I'm totally screwed up in the head about my size and how I view myself. Pre-plastics, I was a comfortable 10. I'm back in the tens, although a little snug due to swelling, and I feel like a whale. I'm wearing some size 8 blouses, which has NEVER happened in my adult life, and I feel like a blimp. What the hell is wrong with my head? One night I'm pondering this dilema of my body dysmorphia when a commercial for Nutrisystems comes on with that woman from some reality show, Zora something or other. Zora says something to the effect of, "After just two months, I went from a size 10 to a 4. I've never looked this good." Something like that. Connie sarcastically says to the television, "Zora, you cow! How could you have ever let yourself be a size 10?" Since when is a size 10 huge? What the hell? Since when is a size 4 the be all, end all of fashion? More power to those who are in smaller sizes, but why is a 10 or a 12 or a 14 a bad thing? Now size 26, that's bad. Everytime I see this commercial now, I just say, "F*** you, Zora" and go on my way. I'm really mature that way, I can just let it go. My sister, who is a size 8 these days, does not allow beauty and fashion magazines in her household. She believes that they promote an unattainable image that she doesn't want her daughters to be influenced by. I agree with her. Even when I pick up a Self or Shape magazine, which are supposed to be about promoting health and fitness, I'm bombarded with airbrushed models with bodies that 99% of the female population can never attain. Let's look at the average American woman. She is not the typical runway model -- the 5'9", measuring 34"-24"-34", broad-shouldered, slim-waisted, long-legged, size 6 head turner. Quite the contrary, statistics indicate that 40 percent of the women in this country are size 14 or larger, yet stand only 5'4" or shorter. A size 1/2, which is purportedly the average size of your run-of-the-mill Hollywood starlet now is the same size as a 6/8T. That's right, the size for your average 6-8-year-old girl. (I stole most of this paragrapgh from articles on the net.) I'm going to do my best to wrap my head around my size 10 body and be happy with it. If I drop below a 10 when the swelling goes down, well and fine, but I'm not going to beat myself up anymore. We've all done really, really well and we need to celebrate our success. Connie

Yeah, well Zora might be a size 4 but she is still a big old stinking goofball. I would rather be a size 14 cool/funny chic than this gangly skinny size 4 goofball that flipping drives me nuts every time she is on that boob tube! I agree with you about the size issue - but how could I not? I have never been below a size 11 in my life. And the thing is, I felt good at that size. I had a tiny little waist and, yeah, I had hips, but I didn't feel fat except when I was next to those really tiny girls. So when I compared myself to others I felt like a cow. When I stood in the mirror, I pretty much liked what I saw. But even back in the 80's it was a numbers game of trying to get to what I saw as perfect back then, as a size 8. It wasn't to be. So here I am in 14's - some 16's even still, and thinking that one day I might just be able to lose more. I've not given up that goal completely. But even though I'm so heavy in the eyes of la la land, I am pretty happy. 188 sure as hell beats 325 (and 338 at my high) in the grand scheme of things. I haven't been this size since I was 20, and I'll be 40 this year, so that's pretty darned good. It's all relative, and I agree - we need to chuck these "role models" who have nothing I want to emulate regarding personality, morals, treatment of others, etc. So if the rest of the apple is rotten, why should I desire to be the pretty red skin that covers that rotten core? Dina

its a number. just like our weight. granted i love the numbers that i'm sporting now. comparison: weight in 2004 = 277/ weight in 2006 = 157 woooo Hoooo! sizes in 2004 tight very tight 26+28/ sizes in 2006 = 6,8,& 10's. Wowzer! zora is not normal. neither are we but we just say we have great senses of humor.

Hi Connie, I know what you mean about size. I started out at 335 size 30 jeans and 26/28 top and two years later I am in a solid size 12 and m/l top and I am weighing 185. I had set a goal for myself of 150 size 9 and I have yet to get there but I'm still working on it. I find myself so fixed on numbers at this part of the game and I should be grateful for how far I have come. Will we ever be satisfied?? Kathy 335/185/150?

I am still going through the size trauma. Right now, I'm a 6-8-10 depending on who makes the clothes. I saw Zora too. I want to slap the hell out of her. I had this thing in my head that I HAD to be a size 4. Why? I have no clue. I just bought a pair of DKNY jeans from ebay, size 8. I took them out of the box and my daughter says....geez, Mom...those things are tiny. I'm thinking, no way are they going to get past my thighs. They are stretch denim and thats why I bought an 8 ( I already have some DKNY jeans in an 8 and like the way they fit). Thankfully, they fit. Am I happy. Yes and no. I still want to be a size 4. I feel like if I get there, then I've met my goal. It's unrealistic and pretty much insane. I wish I can get my head where yours is right now. Joanie

Just want you all to know that Zora has a new commercial and she still annoys me. C.