It Starts in the Head!

Of course, we've been at this long enough that we all know this is true - it starts in the head. I need to be accountable for what I eat, instead of feeling negative feelings about it - doesn't lead me anywhere except to eat more of the wrong foods so that those negative feelings grow stronger. I need to get accountable. And I need to get off sugar. These are my only goals right now. Accountability. Sugar-free Me. So, starting tomorrow I am going to post to this Board every single thing that I eat, no matter what, no matter how insignificant. I invite you to join me, if there is anyone that would benefit from doing this as well. In the meantime, I have to tell you a Laela (my horse) story. So, I bought a new saddle and it keeps compressing in the panels just under the pommel. The saddle fitter has had to come out two times in 3 weeks to add more flocking. As she was finishing up last night, we were talking about why this is happening and I said, "Is it because there's too much weight (me) in the saddle? Am I too heavy?" I really meant the question. She looked at me and said, "Uh, no that could not possibly be the reason. You are not heavy at all." Why then, my dear friends, do I FEEL as if I am morbidly obese again? Now, Patty (the saddle fitter) doesn't know my history - of course not, I acquired Laela after I had lost the weight. She doesn't know me other than how I look now - holding steady between 160-165. But I FEEL really fat. It's the mind! It's the mind. The psyche. My psyche will be what it has always been for the rest of my life - but I can THINK differently. This tiny little interaction with my saddle fitter was a reality check for me - now today, the college where I work was closed because of snow - ah, blessed snow! So I went to the barn at 7am to ride Laela - before the snow hit. God, it was so peaceful! Just the two of us in the indoor arena and I had the best ride I've ever had on her! I felt lighter. In fact, I concentrated on riding her lightly, I stayed aware of the tension in my body and as I felt it in different places (shoulders, neck, thighs, calves, hands...) I released it, I let it go - and Laela moved more freely under me, with great energy but as light as a feather - she fed off of my energy! And my energy was light  - it was just so remarkable. No struggle, no fighting each other, just a communal lightness of being. I just had to share this because it was a remarkable feeling for me. And it all happened because I changed my thinking ... ok, I'll shut up. I just had to share. I'll stop in tomorrow with my eating log - and it would be so wonderful if someone would join me. Your Reenie

I dont really have any comment...just know Ill be thinking of you and YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

Thanks for your support, Kim. Hey - do you track your protein at all? Do you have any idea how much you're getting on a daily basis? Can you share a day's worth of eating that is typical for you? I'm really stumped on the protein issue... how's the pup?? Maureen