A voice from the past

Hi All;

While I haven't posted here in quite a while, I do still look in on the board occasionally. I'm glad to see that some familiar faces are still here and that the board is still active (no thanks to me). I'm sorry that I'm not making a contribution, and I make no excuses. I'm busy as hell these days, but I could probably find time to post, but I'm afraid that I'm fairly discouraged these days and I don't  feel that I can find the words of encouragement to help others. I look at myself these days and I see :

"THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY".
The Good.... I still weigh over 100 lbs. less than I did pre-surgery.
The Bad......  I weigh over 40 lbs. more than my low point.
The Ugly.......I can and will eat just about anything with no consequences.(other than weight gain)

Except for the fact that I am physically unable to put away the sheer volume of food that I once did, I find myself wondering if my surgeon just cut me open and sewed me back up. HA HA Mike......just kidding.....we really didn't  do a gastric bypass......it was just "Placebo Surgery"!!
From what I'm reading here, It seems that many of you are struggling with the same issues that I am. I have lots of questions and no answers at this stage.

Anyway.....I just wanted to check in and say hi and I'm still alive and trying to shovel *#&^ against the tide!!

Be well, my friends.....

Mike

Hi Mikey!
We're all in the same boat!
All of us are trying to do the best that we can.
I look to the friends that Ihave who had the surgery a year or 2 before i did and they are the same way.
What encourages me is that the 3 of them while they have gained 20 to 30 pounds each have kept it at that gain. they've not gained all of their weight back.
it took work alot of work for them to keep it right there.
i've come to the realization that i'm gonna have to work very hard to keep my gain at that point.
truthfully i dont know if i'm strong enough but what the heck i'll try.
good luck and god bless, pammy

Thanks Pammy;

While I haven't given up hope, I am fairly discouraged by my "back-sliding". I keep trying to convince myself that I can get back on track and at least take some of my re-gain back off.

Mike

Howdie Pardner!!   Aw, Mike, are you ever a sight for sore eyes! I think about you all of the time... our journeys continue to parallel each other's except I really do have an addiction to some foods, sweets make me insane in my head... but I will NOT give up, the day I give up is the day they are sprinkling holy water on my grave - or flinging it at my urn! I am with you though - I can absolutely eat anything without consequence and mostly in any quantity, although oddly the restriction I feel is different every day - sometimes, the restriction is quite obvious, mostly I am given carte blanch to eat whatever and in whatever quantity without any consequence at all. And I am still a bona fide emotional eater, have concluded that I always will be - if it hurts in my head or my heart or my soul - I will eat to make it all feel better... which, of course, never works! Seeing your shining face brought back those memories of walking the hospital corridor together with our med pumps taking along - and our spouses wondering what the hell??? Here we are, going on 6 years later... I don't have any answers either, Mike - but you will always have my friendship and support. Be well, my friend - and I'll pay you $50 bucks if you can get Connie back to this Board! Love ya, Maureen

Greetings My Friend and Partner in WLS!

I'm with you on the emotional eating. As I said to Marilyn, it's always been my drug of choice and I'm afraid that it always will be. I find it both strange and interesting that you seem to have the same reaction that I do. There are days where a relatively small quantity of food will make me feel almost "Puking Full", and other days where I can eat huge quantities and not even feel all that full. I just don't get it. What ever became of your visit to Aranow? You posted a while back that you might have a stretched stoma. I haven't been back to him for 2 years now due to the fact that I always feel that I'm totally wasting my time. He seemed to be more interested in getting me to see his dietician and look into tummy tucks than in keeping me healthy. I suppose that I should go back to him, but he really P^$%#D me off the last time I went there. If you get any insight into this stretched stoma issue, I'd really like to hear about it. Thanks as always for your friendship and take care and keep fighting.

Mike

Hi Mike, I am so happy to see you posting again! With regard to the stoma issue, I am seeing my regular PCP tomorrow and requesting a barium swallow - this test will determine how fast the food or liquid is leaving the pouch; the faster it leaves, the more severely the stoma is opened. There isn't a doubt in my mind that this is what is going on with me. When I saw Dr. Aranow, he totally dismissed me, saying "If that were the case, you would be my first system failure..." I couldn't believe it - here I am, a patient seeking his counsel and all he could think about was his reputation. I don't consider what's going on a "system failure" at all - I consider it a consequence of where I'm at post-surgery. And if he ain't gonna help me I'm moving on. A gal on the CT surgery site, Tammy (who posted here recently, she's a doll!) has steered me toward a surgeon in Hartford, I can't remember his name, Rafapopolous or something like that - but I had a talk with his patient coordinator, a really good talk and told her everything that was going on with me and she said to get the barium swallow test done first and then we will schedule an appt. with the surgeon. My concern more than anything is that the food is not staying in my system long enough for my body to absorb the nutrients I need to stay healthy. So this is my plan - in the meantime, I will continue my daily struggle and press on - and Judy, YOU are my inspiration in that regard! You never, ever give up!!! Mike, I will not go back to Aranow. I need to take care of me and my health. You do what you need to do as well! The very best thing you can do right now is get the support you need while you are searching for your answers. All is not lost!!! We're here for you, the few of us that remain active on the Board - and I will always meet you at Middlesex for a SG meeting - any time, just let me know. Take care, my dear friend - Maureen

Hi Mikie
 I don't post as much as I used to, as well. But, very happy to check in & see your smiles. Yup,
we seem to all be dealing with 30-40 lbs regain. Mine is about 30 Have lost some of it, only
to gain it back. It's a lot of work not to gain it all back,but like you Thank God have only gained
30. Keep truckin & so glad you are doing O.K.
A lot of mine is stress eating as of a year still unemployed, spend a lot of time on facebook. Ask
Pammy about that one. Take care & try & not be so busy, O.K.

Hi Marilyn;

I'm glad to see that you are still here and still well. Like you, I seem to indulge in stress eating. It's always been my drug of choice and I guess that will never change. I just hope that I can get it a bit better under control. Take care and stay well.

Mike

Hey Mike, I just read your reply about Dr A. I felt the same way about how it seemed like he lost interest in talking with youonce you told him you were done with surgery t tucks things like that.
I had an issue that I went to him for last year. Due to abusing laxatives on a daily basis for over a month I set my low blood sugar off big time. I'd had a mild low blood sugar issues for over 15 years but never had anything major with it. if i got alittle hungry i'd sometimes get alittle shakey.
well my abuse set me off so that i was almost passing out. i was shaking so badly i could not stand. my face had temors and my head had pains in it like you woudl not belive. all due to the low blood sugar. i had to eat about every 20 minutes. ther eis nothign they can do for LBS with meds other than diet.
mine because i had been nuts with the lax. (don't bother yelling i've already heard it all from family docs and friends PLUS I will NEVER use a laxative again no matter if i've not gone in a million years!)
anywayssss i went to him and he set me up with his dietian. nice young skinny thing. went over everyrhign that was goign on. at that point I'd gained 10 pounds and was panicing aobut that
she put me on a 1200 cal a day diet. no way was that going to work when i had to eat every 20 mintues! so i said to her i dont' think that this is going to work and she sarcastically said to me "well you want to lose weight don't you"?
OK dokey! Not a smart thing to say to someone who had paniced over a slight gain so badly that they abused laxatives to lose.
so i tried what she gave me couldnt do it and went to a naturalist doc. WHO I LOVE!
I feel like she saved my life.
she sat with me talked with me for over an hour. she did more extensive blood work. she is awesome.
she also found athryoid problem that Dr A said wasn't anything to be concerned about. The naturalist sent me to an endocrolgist who did more extensive blood work.
now i'm on med for that thyroid and feel wonderful.
i eat small snack things every 2 to 3 hours. i dont' need to eat alot its waht i eat that is key.
and i'm starting to lose weight again. nothing major just a pound here and there but i feel good.
i also feel much better emotionally about the weight.
i'm realistic aobut my size.
i still look in the mirror and see me at the 300 pound mark when i am not that heavy. i just remind myself of that and off i go living my life.
whew.
hope all is well with you.
again.
bye.

Hi Marilyn, here's a hug  -- it's good to see you ... Maureen