Biggest Loser - The Stoma Wars
Before I found out about my large gaping stoma, I signed up for a Biggest Loser contest at work. To join is 5.00. Every week, you pay a dollar. You weigh in every week and if you've gained, you pay a dollar for every pound you gained. At the end of 12 weeks, the 4 Biggest Losers split the pot. The winner usually gets at least a hundred bucks. Today is my first official day as a Loser.
There are people at work who have been doing this for years. They don't need to lose any more weight and they never win the pot, but they tell me that the thought of having to pay money if they gain weight keeps them on the right path. If you don't gain anything, the cost for 12 weeks is 17.00. That's cheaper than Weigh****chers or most other programs. This is the most effective system I've ever seen for maintaining weight loss. I never looked into it before because, after all, I've had weight loss surgery. I shouldn't need something like this. Maybe swallowing my pride will plug that hole in my stoma.
I talked to one woman who is a Loser and has lost a ton of weight over the last year and looks fabulous. I asked her what diet she was on and she said none. All she did was stop drinking all soda, eat her largest meal at the beginning of the day and stop eating fast food. Other than that she eats anything she wants.
I wonder how I'm going to do this contest and battle the stoma. I don't want to quit the contest. If nothing else, it's worth 17.00 to be more conscientious about my eating. Stoma, stoma, stoma. Maybe this explains why there are some incredible gurgling noises coming from my belly 1/2 an hour after I eat. One night The Man and I are watching a movie on his fabulously large television with a surround sound system that makes you think you're at your local movieplex. I think Bruce Willis was battling something or other and there are lots of bam, pow, bang noises rumbling through the speakers. The Man turns up the sound. Why'd ya do that? I can't hear the TV over your stomach. Alrighty then.
Last night I was starving before bed. I'd eaten dinner, I didn't want to eat before bed. I've been eating in my sleep very often. New strategy - call me crazy. Desperate measures for desperate times. I ate three pork rinds, but I didn't chew them very well. I swallowed a bunch of water. The pork rinds absorbed the water, reconstituted themselves into a full grown pig in my belly and kept me full long enough to fall asleep. I didn't sleep walk and get any food that I know of. By the way, I'm not taking any sleep aids so this sleep eating thing isn't caused by any pill side effect.
I ate breakfast 1/2 an hour ago. An egg and a slice of lean ham. I was full when I finished eating, but now I think I'm starving. I know I'm not. Shut up down there!
I read an article in, I think, Time that said that working out is actually causing people to gain weight. http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1914857,00.ht ml. Well isn't that grand?
OK, off to bottle my Limoncello that I've been brewing for the last 5 months. Home made Christmas gifts. Call me bootlegger.
Cons
There are people at work who have been doing this for years. They don't need to lose any more weight and they never win the pot, but they tell me that the thought of having to pay money if they gain weight keeps them on the right path. If you don't gain anything, the cost for 12 weeks is 17.00. That's cheaper than Weigh****chers or most other programs. This is the most effective system I've ever seen for maintaining weight loss. I never looked into it before because, after all, I've had weight loss surgery. I shouldn't need something like this. Maybe swallowing my pride will plug that hole in my stoma.
I talked to one woman who is a Loser and has lost a ton of weight over the last year and looks fabulous. I asked her what diet she was on and she said none. All she did was stop drinking all soda, eat her largest meal at the beginning of the day and stop eating fast food. Other than that she eats anything she wants.
I wonder how I'm going to do this contest and battle the stoma. I don't want to quit the contest. If nothing else, it's worth 17.00 to be more conscientious about my eating. Stoma, stoma, stoma. Maybe this explains why there are some incredible gurgling noises coming from my belly 1/2 an hour after I eat. One night The Man and I are watching a movie on his fabulously large television with a surround sound system that makes you think you're at your local movieplex. I think Bruce Willis was battling something or other and there are lots of bam, pow, bang noises rumbling through the speakers. The Man turns up the sound. Why'd ya do that? I can't hear the TV over your stomach. Alrighty then.
Last night I was starving before bed. I'd eaten dinner, I didn't want to eat before bed. I've been eating in my sleep very often. New strategy - call me crazy. Desperate measures for desperate times. I ate three pork rinds, but I didn't chew them very well. I swallowed a bunch of water. The pork rinds absorbed the water, reconstituted themselves into a full grown pig in my belly and kept me full long enough to fall asleep. I didn't sleep walk and get any food that I know of. By the way, I'm not taking any sleep aids so this sleep eating thing isn't caused by any pill side effect.
I ate breakfast 1/2 an hour ago. An egg and a slice of lean ham. I was full when I finished eating, but now I think I'm starving. I know I'm not. Shut up down there!
I read an article in, I think, Time that said that working out is actually causing people to gain weight. http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1914857,00.ht ml. Well isn't that grand?
OK, off to bottle my Limoncello that I've been brewing for the last 5 months. Home made Christmas gifts. Call me bootlegger.
Cons
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