Let's Untwist Our Panties for Just One Day!

Hey There Ya'll!!!
How the heck are you doing?  It sounds like everyone is getting wayyyyy too down and out about how we look,  allowing our scales to screw with our minds and letting all that garbage chattering in our heads just ruin our beautiful summer!!! What do ya say we all just chill out a little this week, eat responsibly when we can and enjoy a bite or two of the BEST chocolate or beef or whatever we crave and just enjoy life!  Sometimes we don't lose weight because we aren't eating enough and the old 50+ year old bod here is spendidly adapt at making starvation adjustments so I can "never" eat enjoyably again.  I say " Screw 'em!"  We only live once and if we weigh 65% of what we once did, we are a raving success!!!!  Enjoy your lives, Ladies!    Even if you don't look like you did when you were thirty, who cares if you are now healthy and feel good (physically)?  Tell those nasty demons in your mind that your through with 'em!  Turn it over to a higher power; let Him worry about it.  Just surrender!  I'm telling you, it will change your life!  Accept who you are for what you are and love yourselves.  Afterall, we are so special, no matter how we look!  And we have each other!

Let's all start keeping a gratitude list.  It is amazing how it will lift your spirits!  Just for today, think of one thing you are truely grateful for! 

Me?  I'm just grateful to still be very sober after 2 1/2 years!  WOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO!!!  I think I will go celebrate with a nice cold glass of Iced Tea!  How about you gals?

Hugs to All,
Karen

You are amazing... you always make me smile when I see you posting, Karen. I am just back from visiting my daughter in Montreal who said some things that rocked my core - I don't think I can recover, I can't stop crying. And my husband, who told me he can't believe how beautiful Jillian is: "I looked at her in the elevator, and looked at you, and thought about how I look, and I can't for the life of me understand where she got it from" (her beauty). And my son to his father in a rage, "Why did you marry her? What did you ever see in her?" I can't get up. I can't get up. If these are the people who are supposed to love me more than anyone else in the world, I just don't know what to think or do... Maureen

Reenie this really requires a sepaarate post for you alone. You are beautiful. Those people are mean nasty hurtful. you need to escape. you also need to love yourself. doesn't matter what anyone else thinks only your thoughts are the important ones.

Now for the othr lady here..

I'm toasting you and your being sober right now with a great big old glass of poland springs! Here here!
We all are pretty dam beautiful.
I came to the realization last week that for my age I'm hot! who cares whats under the clothes! the outter showing is gorgeious. I dress good, accessorize lovely, do the make up, hair nails, pedicues too.
now of course there comes a time when we all have to take that stuff off and get ready for nite nite...
who cares???
I wear glasses so does my boyfriend. when we get to that point....no one says hey wait a minute let me grab the glasses and check the wrinkles. we are so grateful to be just at that point at our ages!
so
everyone jump on the band wagon with us here.
we all need to celebrate ourselves. Cause there are plenty out there who will try to unententionally or intentionally pull us down. they are the ones who are wrong and every day that we get up and go we are proving that to them and to us,.
WE ARE AWESOME!!!!!

Hi Pam, to be celebrated is a beautiful thing. I was remembering how my Sophie (my collie that I lost 2 years ago) used to bound to my car every time I came home from work; and then she'd start dancing and singing her delight to see me again - literally, she'd throw back her head and howl and then I would join her and we'd both be howling in my driveway until we were spent and then we'd wrap up in each other's arms and embrace - she celebrated me. I know she was just a dog - but life is so short, we must celebrate our existence and give to this world what we can, what we are able.  I know my family loves me but they take me for granted and when we all hurt, we have to get rid of the pain so we hurt each other. My husband has never been very good at taking care of our relationship. He just doesn't know how to do that. My son is full of rage and he takes it out on me. My daughter just wants her own life and she is terrified of becoming anything like me - married, settled down with kids and a job that means nothing to me. She's terrified that this is what is going to happen to her. So she has to keep me at a distance to protect herself from becoming like me. I told her life is short and if I can't have a meaningful relationship with her now while I'm alive, I don't want her crying over my dying (or dead) body when I go - I don't want her there. I just feel so used up, like I just don't have it in me to get up and keep going. But I will. I will remember Sophie and how we thanked the Heavens for each other and keep going today. You are a beautiful lady. God bless everyone today - Maureen

kids say hurtful nasty things too that they mean at the time but after they think about it feel bad. do you reemmber doing that toyour mother?
i don't get along fantastic with mine but i try now. years of this and that no need to go through it all. she's at the end of her life and even though things were rocky for us she's stillmy mother and i love her.
my kids have said awful things to me i know the pain tha tyour in.
learn from my experience and keep yhourself up think about sophia think about the good in your life.
why would they hav rage and anger? find that and you'll find the clue to how to get along.
counciling.
it never ends.
but it begins with you taking care of yourself. they wil see that and learn.
if others have a hard tiem seeing you being good toyourself its their jealousy not yours.
move away from negativity
move towards peace.
your one of the strongest women that i know so i know you'll do fine. thanki god for us here were we can vent.

Maureen,

I just don't know what to say so I'm going to say it.  I look at your picture and I see beautiful eyes, beautiful smile, a single well-defined chin that we all would have died for 5 years ago and a strong, beautifully well defined collar and shoulder area that I would kill for now.  I know you don't see it. 

I don't know what Jillian looks like, I'm sure she's beautiful.   What I know for sure is that she has not yet inherited her mother's beauty and generosity of spirit.  She may one day, but what I've gathered so far is that she has a long way to go.

A few weeks ago, my step-mother went on one of her insane e-mail attacks.  Every once in a while, without provocation, my step-mother will launch an all out written assault on my sister and copy everyone in the extended family.  We've all learned, my sister included, that to respond will only prolong the insanity.  These are the rantings of a drunken, very ill woman.  There is no reasoning with her.  No matter how many times my sister is unjustly attacked, she always asks herself what she can learn from it and if she owns any of it.  I so admire her rational and introspective response.  My step-mother on the other hand, sees no fault or guilt on her side. 

So Maureen, I have two thoughts on this. 
1.  Think about what you can learn from all of this and if you own any of it.  It's not about blame and it's not about accepting responsibility for someone else's behavior.  It's about learning about yourself and decidng whether you have responded in exactly the way you wanted or if you'd like to do something different if there is a next time. 

2.  Sometimes you can give too much of yourself and invite people to take you for granted and treat you badly.  Sometimes you need to act as if you deserve to be treated better, even if you don't believe it in your heart. 

Be good to you and as Karen says, fly.

Hugs and love,
C.

I have been trying to find words to express what I feel after reading your post, Connie, and I simply come up short. Can I just say this? Thank you. I hope you know what your friendship these past six years has meant to me. I don't possess your positive spirit but I surely am grateful that you continue to share it here with all of us. You always face your trials and tribulations with cheery resolve and unbelievable humor - we'd be lost without you. Much of my response to my family members' insensitivity is old, old stuff with me. What I continue to learn every day is that who I believe myself to be is truly who I am - not as other people see me, but only as I see myself. It's a struggle for me because I am constantly pulled in the direction of believing myself to be worthless - like I said, old, old stuff from my early years resulting from some pretty traumatic incidences. But I never give in or give up. Haven't yet and hope to never do so.  Let me end by saying - when I grow up, I want to be just like you... Hugs to you, dear one - Maureen

Hello there, Maureen!!!!

I hear the pain in your post, as I have often in the past, and I feel so badly for you.  You are such a wonderful, caring person who only wants the best for herself and her family and they do not seem to be able to connect with you, nor you with them, for whatever reasons.

I don't know any of the parties involved but I DO recognize toxic relationships when I see them and you've got them.  They know exactly what buttons to push and they are slamming them.  You are drowning, my dear, in a sea of negativity and despair that is being created by your environment.  I KNOW that you know how to swim, so, put your swimsuit on, as hard as that may be, and swim beyond this pool of darkness, Sweetie.  You need to leave.  You need to recover.  You need to find you and surround yourself with people who appreciate you.  It is time to stop trying to fix everything around you hoping that you will get fixed in the process.  Let it go.  Concentrate on just staying in your own sandbox and healing Maureen.  If a situation crops up, think about "is it mine to fix?"  "Do I have any real responsibility here or is this someone else's problem to deal with?"  Pray for those who have issues with you and those you have issues with.  Resentments seem to disappear when we change our perceptions of those who hurt us as sick people and pray daily for them for two weeks.  I learned that in AA and it works.  Be selfish, Maureen.  It is time to take care of Maureen before you drown.  Your family will figure "it" out.  Give yourself permission to grow wings if that is what you need to fly because you ARE worth it.  Their negativity is THEIR problem, not yours.  They have a right to feel their feelings but so do you.  Let them feel their resentments; they will anyway.  But you do NOT have to tolerate abuse.  You are way too precious for that and have way too much worth to this world to let these people suffocate your spirit.

There are those on this site who will disagree with me, but I am taking a chance by saying, "Fly, Maureen, fly"....and when you are soaring you will be so glad you did.  It just takes courage.  We're here for you whatever you decide.

Hugs and More Hugs,
Karen

How can I express to you, Karen, what your support has meant to me these past few days? And the rest of you ladies, thank you. I have shared with this Board some very personal cir****tances over these past many years and you've always been there. I can only hope you feel likewise about me - I want to always be there for you. In my current situation, I need to clarify that I am no angel here - I have said and done things that have hurt my family as well, particularly my husband. I am not easy to live with.  We all need to find a way to be gentle and kind and loving to each other, and wholly accepting of who we are. I truly believe the best shot we have at doing that is for Jim and I to separate - not divorce necessarily but certainly to live apart so that we can - as you say - fly ... find our wings and fly. Karen, I am so inspired by your abstinence, it truly is remarkable. I want so badly to experience abstinence from my food demons - please keep posting. This thread has helped one lady in CT more than you will ever know. Please stick around and let us know how you're doing. I love you all very much - Maureen

Hey Karen , it's good to hear from you!! I agree with you, we are special. If we don't think we're special, why would anybody else?!!  Have a great day,