Over and Out...
I've been thinking alot about things that have been said recently on this board. While most things are supportive, I am not a fan of attacking people when their help is asked for. I believe in the fact that people are responsible for their words, and it's not something that you can just forget or take back. People who ask for your help...then give you a million reasons (or excuses) why they can't or won't take your advise, won't seek out the real professional help they need, and then attack and judge you in the process. All this does is add stress to people's lives, and no one needs that.
So, like many others before me (Connie, Marilyn and the guys to mention a few), I will no longer take the time to post. Oh, I will probably stop by and read, but I really feel I am done with the drama that some people wish to post on this site. I really have nothing more to offer here.
Over and out....
Joanie
So, like many others before me (Connie, Marilyn and the guys to mention a few), I will no longer take the time to post. Oh, I will probably stop by and read, but I really feel I am done with the drama that some people wish to post on this site. I really have nothing more to offer here.
Over and out....
Joanie
Joan, some of my first thoughts this morning were prayerful - for your daughter's safety, and for Connie in her loss. All I can say to your post is that you misconstrued and misinterpreted my communications with you earlier this week. I only sought to understand where you were coming from. I don't see any evidence of "attack" in any of what I wrote to you but you certainly attacked me - and still do, in this post. And I certainly never felt any hostility towards you, nothing meanspirited in the least. To suggest that people (and you mean me) intrude on others lives (yours) with seeking their advice and then deliberately not take that advice (excuses) is unfair and unwarranted; to assume that I have not sought professional advice for any of my problems - food, marital, parenting - is an arrogant judgment that frankly you don't have the knowledge to make. To suggest that Connie, Marilyn and the guys have stopped posting because of people like me is - well, maybe you know something that I don't. This was your drama, not mine - I did not attack you. I'm sorry you feel the way you do and I wish you would reconsider and stay active. We are all coming up on our 5 year anniversary and it is something that we should share together. For the rest of the Board, if people want to ask me to leave, please do so publicly, post to that here. I believe in democracy and will honor your wishes. Peace, Maureen
Joanie and Maureen,
I just want to go on the record here and say that the reason I have not been posting lately is simply that my life is insane. It has nothing to do with anyone on this board. This is so important to me that I'm missing work this morning to address this.
I try to learn things from everyone who touches my life and I've certainly learned a lot from both of you. I've also learned a lot from my dogs. I have been contemplating the life of the late, great Peabody, friend to all and licker extraordinaire and my constant thought is that he always assumed good intent. When I got Peabody a million years ago, he was the happiest dog I'd ever seen in spite of being hit by a car and arthritic at an early age, the vet also thought that he might have been abused by his former owner. In spite of his trauma he assumed everyone wanted the best for him and was as happy to see him as he was to see them.
I believe that Peabody's advice for this board would be to "assume good intent." Whatever happens after this and no matter who is left after the dust settles (and I hope it is everyone), going forward, I think we all have to assume good intent.
I have an e-mail rule for my team. If the matter isn't resolved after 3 e-mails, get off your butt and go have a face to face conversation. I wish that we could do that here, but we can't. I think we'd solve a lot of our misunderstandings here if we could talk face to face. OK, another story coming on...When I first started dating The Man, he told me that he was representing an officer in a disciplinary hearing and was going to go talk to Judge Whozit about it on Thursday to get some advice. I think to myself... ummmm... why do I care? On Thursday night, I'm talking to The Man on the phone and he says, "My plane should get in at 11:00 tomorrow morning."
What, what, what? Where are you?
In Portland.
Portland!?!
I told you I had to see Judge Whozit.
In police work, you seldom communicate by e-mail or even phone because you miss half the conversation. You miss subtle clues, body language and facial expressions. We also miss half the conversation in our posts. Looks of concern, smiles and tears. I would have never had the opportunity to come in contact with all of you without this board so I'm grateful to have it, but it's also a curse in that we are always missing half of the conversation.
The world would be a very boring place if we all thought alike and agreed all the time. If the world was full of Connies, as much as I like myself, I'd be bored to tears and I'd never learn anything. I have learned so much from both of you over the years and I'm going to miss out in the future without both of you to teach me.
I value both of you very much and I would like to have a do over. A fresh start with new ground rules. I'd like to propose that as a group, we brainstorm some ground rules for going forward. I know that everybody is hurting and ouchy and it's hard to unring the bell, but here's my proposal...
Let's take a breather for a couple of days and this weekend, lets come together and start to put together new rules of engagement going forward. We'll work together to come up with a mission statement and list of ground rules to operate under. We've made it together this far and that's something no other surgery date board has done. As a personal favor to me, could we just give this one more shot?
Love, hugs and many deep breaths to you both,
Connie
I just want to go on the record here and say that the reason I have not been posting lately is simply that my life is insane. It has nothing to do with anyone on this board. This is so important to me that I'm missing work this morning to address this.
I try to learn things from everyone who touches my life and I've certainly learned a lot from both of you. I've also learned a lot from my dogs. I have been contemplating the life of the late, great Peabody, friend to all and licker extraordinaire and my constant thought is that he always assumed good intent. When I got Peabody a million years ago, he was the happiest dog I'd ever seen in spite of being hit by a car and arthritic at an early age, the vet also thought that he might have been abused by his former owner. In spite of his trauma he assumed everyone wanted the best for him and was as happy to see him as he was to see them.
I believe that Peabody's advice for this board would be to "assume good intent." Whatever happens after this and no matter who is left after the dust settles (and I hope it is everyone), going forward, I think we all have to assume good intent.
I have an e-mail rule for my team. If the matter isn't resolved after 3 e-mails, get off your butt and go have a face to face conversation. I wish that we could do that here, but we can't. I think we'd solve a lot of our misunderstandings here if we could talk face to face. OK, another story coming on...When I first started dating The Man, he told me that he was representing an officer in a disciplinary hearing and was going to go talk to Judge Whozit about it on Thursday to get some advice. I think to myself... ummmm... why do I care? On Thursday night, I'm talking to The Man on the phone and he says, "My plane should get in at 11:00 tomorrow morning."
What, what, what? Where are you?
In Portland.
Portland!?!
I told you I had to see Judge Whozit.
In police work, you seldom communicate by e-mail or even phone because you miss half the conversation. You miss subtle clues, body language and facial expressions. We also miss half the conversation in our posts. Looks of concern, smiles and tears. I would have never had the opportunity to come in contact with all of you without this board so I'm grateful to have it, but it's also a curse in that we are always missing half of the conversation.
The world would be a very boring place if we all thought alike and agreed all the time. If the world was full of Connies, as much as I like myself, I'd be bored to tears and I'd never learn anything. I have learned so much from both of you over the years and I'm going to miss out in the future without both of you to teach me.
I value both of you very much and I would like to have a do over. A fresh start with new ground rules. I'd like to propose that as a group, we brainstorm some ground rules for going forward. I know that everybody is hurting and ouchy and it's hard to unring the bell, but here's my proposal...
Let's take a breather for a couple of days and this weekend, lets come together and start to put together new rules of engagement going forward. We'll work together to come up with a mission statement and list of ground rules to operate under. We've made it together this far and that's something no other surgery date board has done. As a personal favor to me, could we just give this one more shot?
Love, hugs and many deep breaths to you both,
Connie
Connie, we'd be lost without you. I am with you (and everyone) 100% on all that you suggest. I think Board Protocol is in order and I will be very conscious of conducting myself accordingly. I won't be around this weekend to assist, but trust that whomever wishes to participate in pulling this together will do so admirably. And yes, I agree - if Joan and I (and everyone else) would have had the benefit of face-to-face communication in this thread, there would have been no miscommunication, misinterpretation, mis - anything. We simply would have had a lively exchange with the objective of merely trying to understand each other's point of view. Isn't that what healthy families do? I value everyone on this board and feel greatly indebted to all. Maureen
Most Active
Recent Topics
