A Mother's Instinct - Help Me
He loves you Maureen... hes just a teen give him some credit. hes going through thast nasty horrible stage. I did when I was that age. I was awful. I quote "hated" my parents too at that age. i drove them insane when I couldn't get what i wanted. (he sounds like me) i swear its a teenage thing. I was a cutter (Cutting myself but not to kill myself) To this day i still dont know why i did that to myself. I didnt even really want their attention. I seriously think it was hormonal and boredom and not having enough things to do. Thats what i think. Just keep a close eye on him. but most of all....Keep Him Busy!... if i had been busy instead of at home stewing on my misery i probably wouldn't have had time to cut myself.
Hopefully he's smart enough not to choose the hard drugs. E is ecstacy. similar to acid... makes you "Feel". Everything is sensitized. alot of kids take it at raves... raves being underground parties. its big on the streets for kids. Meth... 'shiver' that scares the crap out of me. Makes your body literally rot. E makes holes in your brain. Literally holes! kids overheat on it and become dehydrated...thats what usually kills them with E. They also eat oranges and and vitamin c chewables and drops when on it to enhance the feeling. acid.... same deal vitamin c drops or chewables and such. Coke.... i've seen people ingest sugar cubes when on that stuff. some things to peek for. but i kinda think hes just smoking. if he starts buying brightly colored patterned posters and trippy looking things for his room.... ask if hes taking acid. i dread the days i have to worry about it! oh and there are mushrooms too (they call it shrooming) out there that is the same effect as acid.
Hang in there and try to be calm. He'll get through this stage... just hang in there ... lay down the law...threaten rehab (or just send him there) and get him into something... distract him..... (((hugs!!!!)))
all i can do is send you my love and prayers and tell you that you and Jim need to be united and you need to act NOW....
as a mother and grandmother; i understand your aches and your feelings of the babe in arms...--you and Jim need to help your son NOW
I get up every morning determined to both change the world and have one hell of a good time. Sometimes this makes planning my day difficult.
- E. B. White
HOO BOY............
How do I respond to this one, my desperate friend? I almost let this one pass, because I have no answer for you......just a mishmash of thoughts......so here goes nothing:
Abigail and I dealt with the drug issue with our girls in the way Connie recommended. We talked about it........lots. We were both children of the 70s and both smoked pot in our youth......and yes, we inhaled! We did not move on to other drugs and turned out OK in the long run. We were always very honest with the kids about our own drug use and our honest opinions on the long term effects it had on our bodies and minds. We also pointed out that pot in those days had nowhere near the potency of the hybrid weed being sold today. Also, at that time, the law enforcement community and the community at large was much more interested in suppressing the use of hard drugs and paid little attention to marijuana and alcohol use by kids. We tried to discourage any and all drug use by the girls, but were unwilling to be dishonest or hypocritical about it. As it turns out, both girls have admitted trying pot in high school, and both of them claim that they don't like it and don't use it now. Our parental instict and my wife's supernatural sense of smell incline us to believe that they are being truthful.
With all of that said, I think that your situation is entirely different. I think that your Devin is beyond the talk stage. This sounds to me like a job for professionals. I think that Kimberly and Joanie are right and it's time for more drastic action. He needs to be "scared straight" by some very tough love. I don't know if a boot camp is the answer, but some manner of serious re-hab is probably the answer. If he is as manipulative as you say he is, simple therapy is not going to help. He's just going to say what the therapist wants to hear. Anyone as smart as he is can bull**** a therapist any day of the week. He needs to be confronted by someone who has been there and done that and is not about to be bull****ted by some punk-ass 15 year old high school stoner!! Pardon my language, but I need to make a point here.
I don't know if any of this blather makes any sense, but I need you to know that I'm thinking of you and your family and hope and pray that you can fight your way out of this quagmire. I must agree with the others here that no matter how you attack this problem, you and Jim must present a united front or all is lost!! Keep the faith and stay well dear Maureen.
Your fellow Middlesex Hospital Alumni.....
Mike
