Confession

here we are all a disfyn****ial family who sometimes are wrapped up in our own nightmares and have to let others deal with theirs but one very nice thing about this family is that here we can write a few words or a few pages without being interupted!

we've all had times where we've posted without anyone replying back to us but hey we got to write what was bothering us at the time. Thats a great way to help think though something that is bothering us.

sometimes I read a posting but don't have any words to reply with. Thats when i'm wrapped up in my own brain trying to fight the food demons.

Heres a confession.......I ate 2 servings of chocolate animal crackers then threw the bag away.

That's not a confession! That's normal eating! I think it's time for you to write a book, young lady. By George, I think you've got it! Love, Maureen

Mrs. Maureen
 No Way, No Way can you leave this board. Maybe for a few days, but you can not
leave permanently. Yes the world is very scary right now in so many ways. We have
all been through so much in the past4 plus years almost 5, which is so hard to imagine
some days. But, we all need each other & need this board to at least see some day light
out of some of the everyday garbage.
I just spent 2 days in the hospital with my health issues & don't have a clue how I am
going to pay for the 2 days. No insurance & only working part time. The State is
suppose to pick up some of it, but, we will see.
After the 2 days the good news is I have no more infection in my kidney & the kidneys
& liver are all working, but after lots of tests they still cannot tell me where this paid in
my lower back is coming from the still is there.
So go get different depression drugs laugh, smile, and  know that YES you are loved here
& we still need you, so don't leave please!!!
Ladybug Marilyn

Glad you're on the mend. So what is the chance of your landing a job with benefits? Doesn't Walmart offer benes to employees now? What about checking out the local hospital for hourly type work, Marilyn? Get some rest and start thinking about doing what you do best - make a plan. M.

I love you Maureen and you are forbidden to leave!!! Selfishly I would cry forever. SO you are not allowed to leave even if its only me answering (WHICH IT WONT BE!) We all love you!!!  You're just feeling blue. Do some theraputic things. Things that will take your mind off the funk and sadness... have a ride with your horse. Check out that beautiful scenery on one of your walks. ANything that will distract you when you feel so down. I like to get lost in a good steamy romance novel. Paranormal usually.  You are always needed here. Sometimes we dont get a chance to get on here to respond. I have felt EXACTLY the same way when i dont get a response but... then realize that people are probably just not online and are hung up on various problems whether it be sickness or something happening in our lives. But we are all here and just reading helps us to know we are not alone. You are one of my biggest inspirations. I admire the hell out of you woman! You've lost mostly all the weight and keep on trucking... despite the bad things happening... i love to read about your horses and your walks and everything! One day I hope we can meet. You aren't all that far away. :)  Hang in there sweetie and you aren't going anywhere! Because if you did... i'd just have to find you and personally drag you back to your computer... point to it and demand that you write to us!!!   we need you!

Love ya!!!!

I love you back. I feel like you're my lil' sis, I really do!  And every time I click on one of these little face guys, I think of you immediately and giggle... M.

When you all meet Im coming too....sounds like a road trip 

Ok... I want to tell you this in direct relation:

I was SERIOUSLY thinking the same thing today about how people don't respond to me... but not on here....

I have written one long note to one of my oldest and dearest friends and have not received one response. Actually thats not true... I have written her THREE letters. and no response. Know what I get from her? some stupid forward about politics but no personal response to my long letters that tells me she actually gave 2 craps about anything i wrote.

I wrote to my cousin in Michigan... no repsonse.
I wrote to my cousin in PA...TWICE a long note about the kids and how was she doing and how are the kids we have to get together for lunch...NOTHING no response.
I wrote to my best friend from high school and even called her. NO RESPONSE!!!! I left her three messages. Nothing for weeks. 
I wrote to my other friend from delaware whom I usualyl have lunch with and miss her and she did NOT write back.

I don't understand it. I'm nice to them. I haven't done anything that they could be angry with me over... so i figure...maybe they just dont like me. but most likely its because they are hung up in their own lives. (im keeping to that view because its most likely the one thats right. I HOPE!!!)

So BELIEVE me I feel probably worse than you do right now when it comes to that because just this morning I was SOOO sad because no one seems to want to talk to me and I keep wondering if something is really wrong with me. Am I annoying? (probably, Though I'm told Im a quiet person. often) Do people truly not like me? Who knows... it hurts big time... but here... we all love you Maureen and answer you most the time. Sometimes we/I get hung up on life for a few days... but I'll always read and respond. Unless I over look it.  :)  Hang in there sweetie  I know how you feel!!!

((Hugs))

Ok, so I'm glad you posted this. You needed to get this out. Something I try to teach my kids and really, really try to live by (and it's so hard):  "I can't change people, I can only change how I respond to them."  Say it, 'lizbet - "I can't change people, I can only change how I respond to them." So you don't know what's going on with these folks - could have something to do with you, could have absolutely nothing to do with you (I'm betting the latter). In the end it doesn't really matter. Now you could confront them - you could go after each and every one of them and get them on the phone or say it face-to-face, say "Hey, I took the time to get in touch with you and you blew me off - you wanna tell me what's up with that?" And you might get an answer, and you might not. It all comes down to how important it is to you. Look around you. What's really important? Now look inside you. There's your store of personal energy. That's all you have to give away - that's you, that's all you have. You have that which is inside of you to give away to that which is outside of you ... you decide how you're going to spend YOU. And I will never ignore you. Never. Love you, lil' sis. M.