Confession

I was going to say goodbye to you all this weekend. I was going to post my heartfelt most sincerest goodbye - and mean it. I don't feel that I belong here anymore, I don't feel that I'm making much of a contribution anymore. I don't feel needed or wanted. I see that my posts get very few responses and that makes me feel lousy. The truth is I feel this way much of the time anyway about pretty much all of my life - this board, my marriage, my children... so it's my depression I'm trying to deal with. And so I'd like to stay. If that's ok. Just wanted to share. There's such pain in the world - and it's so very scary right now, isn't it? The world is a very, very scary place right now. And I'm having a really hard time coping with that. How are you all coping? Maureen

reenie-how d'ya think i feel??i post just to say hi and it took 4 days for anyone to respond.....4 days! others started their own threads- others replied to others but nobody could  say hi??????????

we both need to snap out of this depression crapola--i am past my wits' end work wise and home wise and financially --i cannot take another thing......and am ready to crawl into the bottom of my closet..but it is stuffy in there.......and crowded with junk.

so-get a grip and just i dunno- think of laela......
sorry- i cannot come up with anything better than that....it is meant with love and as a pep talk but--prob'ly not really effective................

Well, all I can tell you dear one is that when I see you've posted, I make a Bee-Line to read it. I love your wit and even your sarcasm, because it's always, always tempered with love and warmth and kindness. And if you want to make a pact to be a couple of very old ladies rocking on a porch somewhere in Podunk USA, munching on Doritos (or whatever false teeth will allow) - in a couple hundred years, mind you - I'm there! Oh, the stories we'll tell!!! Love you, Margo - M.

STAY! STAY! STAY!!!!! I FORBID YOU TO LEAVE! Rennie...I for one need you here...your are like a lifeline...I read everything you write on this and alot of it has made me rethink , and just get through whats going on. YOU ARE APPRECIATED MORE THEN YOU KNOW! I dont always respond cause sometimes Im just at a lost for words and dont know what to say. Im sooo sorry you have been having a rough time in your life, but as you have told me in the past one day at a time...you are strong and you will get through it. Please come here, talk, ask, anything...if we can all work together we will all be ok. Now here I am as usual not sure what to type to you but I want you to know I respect you, your thoughts, and I dont want you going nowhere!

Your Friend,
Kimberly 

Thanks, Kim. And you have almost singlehandedly energized this board and kept us together. So keep leading the way, my friend. You've been such a source of inspiration these last several months. Love, Maureen

Dear Reenie:

I have not been on the OH site in forever. In fact I lost my username and pw. Last night I sent a message to OH and got  them so I was able to log on. Just before I went to this site I was hoping you were here and still posting. I'm sorry that you're depressed. You're right when you say the world is a scary place. But it is also a beautiful place with just as many good people as bad. When someone is suffering from depression it is very hard to see the beauty and goodness around us. Have you tried taking antidepressant medication? I was clinically depressed and went on an antidepressant for about 10 months. It helped me tremendously. While I was taking the meds I had less energy than normal which I found annoying but I lived with it , as my outlook on life was so much better. Since I stopped taking the meds, 4 months ago, my energy is back and I am no longer depressed.
I hope you continue to post although I don't how often I'll check in.
I just want you to know that you are thought about and cared about. I wish you a better and brighter future.
Pat/Louise Woods

hey now...
nobody writes a dear john/johnell letter here...

life is crazy I think all around, everyone is suffering in their own craziness.

I try to check in every few days, but ya know how that goes.

when I post something I don't expect a tons of responses, I figure most people read and move on...I do read posts and try to respond when I can.

always know that you can email me for a quick response!

walk away from that pen!
nic

Hi Nic, thanks. I've been thinking so much about you this week. You've touched a place in my heart this past year with all that you've gone through and so often on this board, there have been times that I've wished I could just sit down and talk with someone, in person - over coffee (Dina), over a couple of beers (Ken), over a bottle of wine at sunset on the beach (Connie, my dear friend Connie) - or just a walk in the park (any single one of you or all of you at the same time!) - and you, Nic - this week, I've wanted so to be talking to you face to face, because I'm hurting so much in missing my mom - I lost her 20 years ago! And her birthday is Friday, she would have turned 78, and I still feel like a little girl who misses her mommy ... that's the sad part of it. The happy part of it is sometimes when I'm sleeping (yes, I really do that sometimes!), I'll dream of my mom, and we have these great talks, and we laugh together and it's as if we are really together. And it's been like that for the past 20 years. I guess we just never stop feeling like the little girl we were, on some level, right? I hope you're doing well. I think of you often. Love, M.

hello, stranger!! you have been missed!

Thank you. Hope you are well.

Pat