WHERE IS...

You always make me feel so needed.  It's like you always let me pick up where we left off....and I thank you for that.  Truly.

I could go for the beach as long as I don't have to wear a bikini and I don't have to be seen by men.  Oh, and when the sun starts setting, let's make it a glass of Cabernet and you got yourself a deal! 

Me?  I'm treading water right now.  It's not as dire as it sounds, but it's just there.  This low-grade depression seeping in.  I think I have emotionally checked out in many ways and I can barely find the impetus to get dressed on the weekends much less do anything productive or fun.  I sit on my arse all day and play online.  Then when it gets late, we might have a few friends over and I crack open a bottle of wine that turns into two and I'm wondering WHY I didn't put a pitcher of water out before I started because any thoughts of drinking responsibly go flying right out the window after my second glass.  And no, I'm not intending on getting drunk...I simply get too engrossed in conversation and laughing and don't realize how many glasses I've poured myself.  I need a freaking keeper.    And I don't want to give up the times when we have guests over because it makes me feel halfway alive and engaged.  Otherwise I remain a lump on a log. 

I think that's why I'm here.  I need to jog myself out of this.  I need to figure out what it is that makes me happy and actually take a step toward doing it.  I'm in a rut and I need to dig myself out. 

I think I know where you're at right now... and you're trying to make the pain go away with a few glasses of vino and pretending with friends over for a few laughs; I'm downing the M&Ms, enough that would choke a diabetic. Not so today and I feel pretty good about that. But I really think I know where you're at right now. It's about the marraige... there is no worse lonliness than the kind of lonliness in a marraige that does not fulfill. Stay close. M.

Hey there, Reenie-Roo!!!
I am here, too!  I just haven't checked the Board lately.  I was in Amarillo visiting my father and work has been crazy, crazy!!!

I just picked up my 18-month chip at AA!! YEAH!!  Still sober and loving life!  I am going to be on a WLS patient panel in October at the local Center of Excellence hospital so that should be interesting.  I offered to speak on cross-additions, if they wish me to. 

I have put on about 6 pounds this summer, so I have done something I thought I would NEVER do; I confess.....I ........joined...


Weigh****chers!!

They have a new Core program that follows our requirements pretty closely and I needed the accountability of weighing in weekly to jump start me.  So far, it has been good.  I didn't tell them that I have had WLS and don't know how long I will stay but it has brought my eating back in line with how I am suppose to eat (fruits, veggies, meats & dairy) and exercise/water.  The only difference is that I make choices that are high in protein when it comes to meat, dairy and extra "points" allowed.  Instead of junk food, I use them for more protein.  I actually can't eat all of what they want us to and that is okay.  I am using them to fit MY program, unbeknownst to them!

Just thought I'd share that tidbit.  I just joined Saturday so I don't have any results yet.  I am still weaning myself from poor habits I have developed over the past year.  I have also gotten back to not drinking with my meals...it's amazing how much less I can eat when I don't drink and eat denser foods...stay tuned!

Hugs,
Karen

AHHHHH, KAREN, MY FRIEND, MY HERO!! KAREN, KAREN, KAREN! I've got to run out the door, don't you dare go anywhere!!! Maureen

KAREN, KAREN, KAREN! MY FRIEND, MY HERO - I HAVE TO RUN OUT THE DOOR, DON'T YOU DARE GO ANYWHERE! Maureen