WHERE IS...

Nic, Karen (oh, Karen, I need you!), Dina, Ken, MIKE!!!, JOY, Kimberly (you've gotten quiet lately, I can't afford for you to check out, you've been an inspiration!), Judy, Martha, Rhen, Mo, oh I'm sure I'm forgetting a whole bunch of others so help me out folks - can we jump start our board, get a little electrical current running cuz I really, really need you right now... Maureen

Ok, I'll reply to myself...pretty soon I'll be talking to the walls! So, Ms. Margo, you haven't posted in quite a while - what's up with you, how are you, what's going on? You as well, Ms. Judy.

i'm here-i lurk
i have nothing positive to say

struggling badly with issues at home
my weight continues to go up-and it isn't that i am eating too much
i am enjoying that book- it's making sense--did you find it anywhere?

i feel like a mushroom at work- keep me in the dark and feed me sh*t

and lotsa other stuff...

but the sun was shining beautifully today and i am alive!

Ah Margo, life can be so darned hard...and relentless. Someone on this board once said a long time ago that happiness is a choice and I really try to live by that, I really do try to choose happiness but it's just plain hard to do when the daily cir****tances are such a constant burden - well, not constant, and that's the problem - they relent just enough to make me think oh, this is how it is suppose to feel when it's good... so I'll keep going, I'll just keep going because there's hope and I'm strong and I will see my way through this until it's this way all the time, not just for a nano second... I know where you're at, kiddo, I really do understand. Don't be a stranger. And try not to eat through the pain. It doesn't help. Find a different way to deal with it. Be well, my friend. Maureen

I am here.
school just started monday.
I am missing my mom so very much. she always helped me set up my classroom, last year she had just had her stroke and I drove her and she mislabled everything but I used it anyway, (the K'ers dont read so it was ok! LOL)
this was the first day of school in 30 years my mom wasn't there to talk my nerves through.

both kids had melt downs that day one in the morning and one at night.
they are still suffering,

the baby girls birthday is this weekend and again...the memories and the stupid stuff my mom always did is just not there. and it rips new again.

I had my appointment with the nuero-surgeon and that was unremarkable @@
my cholesterol is great tho...
my annual pap was normal and I have to schedule a mamogram.

my appointment with the endocrinologist is next week.
and I still can't drive.
I am captive in my house, classroom until whoever has that day comes to get me.

but I have lost 10 pounds since the summer started.
only 20 more to go from the 30 I gained while watching my mom loose her life to cancer.

sorry to be such a big downer
I have so much and would trade most all of it for my mom.
nic

Thanks for checking in, Nic, we're here for you always. Are you seeing someone about the obvious pain you're in over losing your mom? There are stages we all go through when we lose someone very dear to us and it helps so much to at least understand what that's all about. Are you seeing a grief counselor or someone else to help you navigate through this? Any more sugar episodes? I'm betting that with the lose of 10 lbs. you're feeling better physically and not experiencing the high/low sugar extremes, what do you think? Listen, you can always come here to share what you're thinking and feeling - never worry about "being a downer" - that's what we're here for. You've sure been there for me many times. Take care, sweetheart and don't be a stranger. Maureen

I am here .. periodically lurking.   I just get so involved in life I don't take the time to post.   I do promise that one of these days I'll do an update.

Hugs, Mo

::sniff::   You remember me????  I've been AWOL so long I figured I'd have to reintroduce myself. 

I am doing okay.  It has been a really really rough year.  I can't remember when the last time I posted was, but it's a long story.  My mom nearly died and had one of those "awake during open heart surgery" experiences in May of last year, and then my brother commited suicide in January.  Needless to say, I've been preoccupied.  And not really a good girl either.    I probably drink too much wine, and I started smoking again.  

At least my weight has been pretty steady.....

Ooops.  Okay, so I read back and see where I already mentioned those things before.  Guess my mind is off in la-la land lately.  But hey - at least you know why I have been living in the redundancy of the redundancy department. 

DINA, Dina, Dina... hi darlin' - but the question is HOW ARE YOU? You can say as little or as much as you need to about any of it but when you come back to the board, I feel a weight being lifted from me, from my soul because you were there for me from the beginning, from the get-go - when I was so frightened of all of it, of all of you, that I couldn't hide deep enough from the posts, from these wonderful folks who continue to be such a constant in my life. And here you are again. I am imagining a beach, a couple of ladies with a couple of cups of java, and maybe not saying much together in words, but saying so much in the essence of being together. That's what I wish I could make happen right now. And I'm betting so many of us in reading your post are feeling likewise. What's going on for you, girlfriend? How are you? Are you getting the support you need, at home or elsewhere? Where do you want to start? Love you, Maureen