O.T. Just for the Record-Bye

Hi
 I spent 30 yrs totally by myself without any kind of relationship whatsoever. So after having WLS I have become somewhat addicted to any kind of attachment, then yes. I have. If My  choice in Men has not turned out all that great then so be it. It is my choice & at least
they want ME for a change. Yes my choices have not been all that great & just for the
record I did end the relationship yesterday with the Married Person. 
Yes, Joaine my self esteem is quite low & has been all of my life. So if I could change it
I would. Just not happening any time soon. Thanks for the support & very sorry I upset
the apple cart around here. Well run away for awhile & let you guys have the board.
It's been nice, but, apparently I am not wanted anymore around here, either so have
fun.
Ladybug Marilyn

What you are actually realizing is far from the truth.  The only reason any of us replied is because we do care and we do want you around.  In all the times you have been posting, we have all realized what a special person you actually are.  No one wants to see you being treated the way you were.  So we posted.  And we gave our opinions.  And sometimes it was things you did not want to hear.  There are many issues related to WLS that have nothing to do with the weight loss---it has to do with all the other psychological issues that come with the physical changes.  I am truly sorry you cannot realize your worth.  You have left a lot of positive feedback here on this board, as I'm sure you have in other aspects of your life.  You CAN change your self esteem, if you so choose. I have no idea how you construed our opinions to mean that you were not wanted here.  If that were the case, no one would have posted anything,  


Take care and be well,
Joanie

I sure would like to know how to change my self esteem when it has been in the toilet for a very long time. Everything I touch or do lately turns to S**** & then some. I am
not leaving this board permanently just for awhile. Ineed a break from everything.
You all seem to think it was easy for me to walk away from Bill, will it wasn't. I for
one never though I would be involved with anyone Married & it happened. I did see
him yesterday again & we talked along time & I walked away from him. He & I both
know this was wrong to keep it going as long as it did & the only thing that will change
the situation is IF he makes the move away from Her. Believe me if there had been
another option at the time or at anyone worth pursuing I would have gone for it.
I will not be going back to AZ. This is his court & if he chooses to stay with her, then I will not see him again.
My entire life is a disaster right now & hating myself for letting the other stupid jerk to make me get rid of my animals. So all of this has just been more than I can handle right now so just need a break. I am 54 almost 55 living with  my mother singel & always have been. So if I get a little crazy when anyone pays attention to me, I can't seem to help it much. I am a nice person but just can't seem to get everyone to see that.
Ladybug Marilyn

did i miss something?

Marilyn please do not go. I do not understand what has happened on the board cause i can not figure out this stupid new way they have here but please do not go!

with the amount of people we have on our sight we can't lose a single one. if we do not agree with each other everytime well thats just like a family.

I dont' nkow what happened that upset you again I've not been on for a few days been up in NH with my mom but feel badly about whatever the misunderstanding was.

please keep intouch.

Awwww, Marilyn, I feel bad that you are hurting so much.  I know you are in pain and need some time, but I hope you're not gone for long.  This board isn't the same when you are away and we need you.  We've been brutally honest with each other because we care.  Marilyn,  I'm more spiritual than religious, but for some reason I just feel that church is the place for you to find strength and comfort right now.  Please take care of you and come back to us as soon as possible.

Bug hugs and lots of love,
Connie

Why would you choose to cut yourself loose from people who care about you? Why would you choose to do that to yourself? I hope you will look at that, Marilyn - and choose differently. We need you as much as you need us - we all need each other, that's what we're here for. In the meantime, try this: Top 5 places to meet a decent, available (unattached) guy who shares my interests! (1) get involved with the local humane society and go to their fundraising events; (2) join a book club at your local ibrary, they should meet at least every other week - you read a book together, talk about it, great way to meet new people and get to know each other; (3) start going to WLS support group meetings, good for you and again; (4) get more involved with your church, Marilyn - offer to help with events, serve on committees (find out which ones the guys are involved with!) - like Connie, I'm a non-practicing 'spiritual' kind of person, I sure believe in God but I don't need to go to church to practice my "religion" - but you seem to get a great deal out of your church, so keep at it, get more involved, join committees, put yourself out there! (5) have you thought about volunteering at one of your hospitals? Every time I go for a SG meeting, I see all kinds of wonderful volunteers, as many men as women, and they are always having a great time together! Something to think about. If you need some time off from the board, Marilyn, I understand but don't stay away too long. Do what you need to do but I'll be watching for your posts. Love ya, your Reenie

Don't go!!!!  ah!  You are my buddy!  I need ya Marylin!!! Listen. I have been in a very abusive relationship in the past and yeah, its a self esteem issue but not always...its weird. When I was in an abusive relationship I DID think I could do better and I did not think that I was unworthy or ugly or anything. In fact I was pissed that I was being treated that way and said I deserve better, and knew I could get another guy that was nicer. Its not so cut and dry like people think. It totally catches you off guard sometimes. but actually leaving... 'sigh' its just...weird. Its easy to be on the outside and say oh you can just leave if you just have the self esteem... its more a matter of COURAGE and knowing the jerk won't hunt you down and kill your a$$!!!! (in extreme cases). but it does get that involved at times.

The self esteem thing is true too of course in a sense that what you said Marylin... you get this attention and want to eat it up becuase we are alone. Unfortunately its the wrong people. We don't find out till later and by then we CRAVE (hence the word addiction here does apply) the attention. You are addicted to the feeling of being wanted. You NEED that feeling. Its unhealthy and sure its a self esteem issue but it can be compared. I've been there. Obession...sure if it gets extreme. There is a fine line between obsession and addiction. I'm obsessed with food. I'm here every darn day of my life, every minute thinking and talking about it and how I can eat healthier and do better. I'm addicted to it. Fine line I think. I guess you could say you're obsessed with your addiction?? 'I'm laughing here but i think its true.'  

I totally understand how you're feeling Marylin. You hang in there honey. I can imagine how much it hurts. Regardles of an individual being married or not... its a human connection and it involves the heart and it hurts. Period. You made the right choice and keep looking for a guy!!!!!! There are good ones out there honey. Don't feel as though you're not good enough to find a nice guy and don't wait. I know you know that you are a good and nice person and you know you can do better. Your man is out there somewhere. try the internet and talk to those "Nice guys us bad girls like to stay away from"   Don't leave!!! ((Huuggss!!!)) or if you do... dont stay away long! 

Elizabeth M

Thanks Everybody. Your concerns do help.  I will be O.K as usual. Just need a few
days to just VEG OUT.
Work is s screwy schedule this week. So that will keep my mind occupied as well.
I know you will still be here for Me & all on this board.

Ladybug Marilyn