A NEW DAY

Isn't it amazing that we are all given this moment - this new start - every day of our lives until the day we die? Isn't that a miracle? So, I am looking at a mason jar full of M&Ms sitting on my file cabinet - in full view, not only for me, but for every one who works in my building, for every one on my floor who has been talked to about me and my "problem" - my "dysfunction" - there it sits...no more 'secret' (ha!) trips to Judy's office to stealth away fistfuls of M&M's - I've got my own stash now. I think Connie and Elizabeth are absolutely right about this for me - my issue is more about the habit of sneaking - hell, stealing the candy - the habit grew into something ugly, not the way other people took a few here and there, a public gesture of a tiny chocolate fix, mine was hugely compulsive and had more to do with the secret sneaky ugly compulsive eating disorder that I have lived with my entire life. Only now I do it as a 150-pounder. Same sad head, different body - but not for long with this behavior. So today, it's all about sanity. I want so badly to feel at peace with food! To not use it to hurt myself because that's what I'm worth - nothing. Dammit, I'm worth so much more! Peace with food, peace with life. That's what I'm going to be about - just today. Just for today. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH. You know what's neat about my mason jar full of M&M's??? They're pretty. The colors are beautiful.... Love you - M.

YAY!!!!! I am soooo proud of you!!!! I bet they are pretty And you will start feeling better even if you eat them because you are not going into that mean woman's office and sneaking so you don't have anything to feel guilty over. Getting rid of that negative energy will be the best 1st step you make! and soon you'll start feeling better getting that weight off your shoulders. And its a strong statement. Hang in there we're with you!!!! let us know if you start feeling bad or if for some reason you start getting bad vibes. Could be that woman cursing you out we silently hope she does so she can be miserable for a day for once. Although she sounds like the type that is miserable often. ((hugs!!!)) Elizabeth M

I'm proud of you. Now you're dealing with this on your turf and on your terms. Big, big hugs and lotsa love.

I thnk that you getting that big old jar of candy is the smartest thing in the world! its right there in front of you! no more sneaking! I'm the one with the candy dish on my desk. everyone comes to take a treat and it makes me feel good. I try to buy the kinds that i dont' like. Im' not a big candy eater anymore the sugar bothers me. i'm loving it cause i'm meeting all my co-workers and they will stop and talk. its so hard to go to another position at anotehr company especailly when your in sales and on the road you never really get to make work friends. it takes along time to do it. so my candy jar works well for that. i've found out different ones like different things and i will bring in their favorites. if someone says to me and they sound like they are in pain when they say it to please not bring in a type of candy cause they will eat it i dont' bring it in.