anorexic

Ok so I'm reading the newspaper this morning and they had an articule in it about some people how were anorexic. Very sad to think that these peopel were so down on themselves that they were not happy with what they weighed and nearly killed themselves wihtout eating what they should. Some had started out with having lost alot of weight a healthy way then put some back on. \does this sound familiar? They loved the attention they had gotten after losing and then when they put alittle bit we talking maybe 10 to 15 pounds back on they were upset. They woudl do anythign to lose that extra weight. They obsessed about it and would sneak things that would sobatage their weight lose then feel bad then not eat or do something even more drasitc. That was scarey. I know for me the past couple of weeks have been good. I've lost 9 pounds and that makes me happy. I'm still up from my lowest weight about 15 pounds but I'm only 5 pounds away from what I'd held for weight for over 2 years. I put on all that extra over the past year with dating my guy and all those dinners out! Anyways, what I'm trying to do right now is feel good about that 9 pounds lost. keep those off without becoming so obsessive that I might do something unhealthy like not eat or stick to just fruit or soemthing even worse (which between you and me I've contemplated) Maybe I need to realize that now that I've lost the 9 an extra 5 is not unreasonable and doing it correctly will get me there alittle slower but it will happen. I need to forget my lowest weight after surgery. while it made me feel wonderful maybe just maybe it is unrealisitic? I need to work on getting to what I'll call my "balanced weight" that was the weight that I got to about a year out from surgery. It was a gain of 10 pounds that my doctor told me that most people do. Is it giving up? I dont' think so it will always be a battle each and every day to keep at what I should be. It woudl fit on the scales for that whole height thing. I didn't start out skinny. Reasons why I was heavy who cares at this point? I begged for the surgery I'm happy with my choice. I'm certainly healthier today than I was over 4 years ago and I want to keep it that way. Please understand that this posting is only what is going through my brain. Its not saying what anyone else should do or think its mearly my thoughts for what they are worth. I'm typing whats in my head!

Pam, for me its all about how I feel - physically, psychologically, emotionally. Right now, I'm carrying too much weight to feel good about myself in any regard. Physically, I don't feel as STRONG as I have felt. Strength feels good, and because I've let go of my work out regimen, I feel weaker physically, and that makes me feel bad. So I want to turn that around, get that strength back. This will, of course, help me feel better in my head, and in my heart - the psych/emotional aspect of all of this. For me, one mouth feeds the other and I've got to stay vigilent and aware of what I'm doing to myself. I realized this past weekend that I have not been HEALTHY for nearly an entire year, not in my body, and not in my head. And I'm sick of it. This week, I'm going to recommit myself to my physical health - hard workouts, getting back to strengthening my body - oh, the joy I felt in discovering physical strength after an entire lifetime of not knowing what that felt like! I've let that go and I want it back. This in turn will feed the psycho/emotional aspect of myself and I will start to feel better all around - the weight loss will simply happen as a result. I'll keep you posted - but this is my theory, this is what I believe will work best for me. This is a great thread - what about you guys? Do post! Love, M.

Reenie, I understand the part about the physical stuff. I miss even thought I complained about working out at Curves. \the one I went to closed about a year ago. that has contributed to my gaining I truely believe that. Plus now that I'm not excersizing I've gained in inches cause Ive lost the firmness that I had worked so hard for. Who knew? geesh! I kept saying to myself I'd go to another gym that Curves didn't give me the burn anymore. Which was right it didn't give me what I needed anymore. But what I did find out was that when I checked gyms out I didn' tlike how they were. Too many hard young bodies and men that intimadated me. I kept saying I did't find the right one yet. which again is right I didnt' find it cause I wanted my all women curves with older women who understood me. AT curves I was a hero! They all looked up to me cause they rmembered me heavy! I'd walk in and there was talk! Look thats Her that Pammy who lost all that weight doesn' tshe look wonderful? I want to look like her! Look at Pammy excersize she's not even breathing heavy! oooo I loved being on the pedistal. \well the pedistal tipped and crashed! I'm enjoying this conversation!

Pammie Your head sounds like you have got great thinking these days. I wish I could get mine in that mode, I am going down, but Not like I want to. It's a matter of staying away from the cookies, sugar stuff & the high carbs stuff & I will keep it going down. Thanks for sharing you mind. It helps clear up mine. Ladybug Marilyn