Why didn't this work for me?

i had the lapband surgery 4 yrs ago. i weighed 226 on the day of surgery and over the next six months lost 40 lbs. - down to 186. that is as low as i went. then i went back up to 200 and for the last year or so i have stayed between 192-198. no, i have not had a fill in almost 3 yrs. but that is because i am scared to get one. i cannot eat much at a sitting, but i graze all day. i have a hard time with most any kind of meat or chicken and wind up in the bathroom during my meals about 5-6 times a week. i do have the "soft food syndrome" cause lots of times i will go thru the cafeteria line at work and get mashed potatoes and a roll. i crave sweets/work lots of hrs in an office and dont have time to excercise. i am scared to see a dr about a fill because i am afraid that they will give me one and i will be throwing up EVERY time i eat - or remove some from my fill and i will eat all the time and gain ALL the weight back. i am so jealous of those of you who were able to make this work for you. did any of you go thru this? i really really need to lose at least 30-40 more lbs.

jo; i'm not a bander so i can't speak about that but i applaud you for coming to the board with this....sounds like you need to grab the bull by the horns to get your mind back into what you need to do.....and that can be the hardest! and somehow you need to find some exercise time..... hugs to you for speaking out!

HI Jo. Welcome, & I also don't know much about the band, but, maybe cut out the carbs & work on protein foods. I would for sure talk to your Doc & find out what is up? You say you are afraid, but that is why the band was different then our rny surgerys, so you could get fills. I have never heard of anyone not having at least one fill. So you may need to reconsider your options bite the bullet & talk with your surgeon about all of this. Ladybug Marilyn

Hi! You're going to have to bite the bullet (no pun intended) and see your doctor. You have got to have protein, and you won't lose if you are carb loading. If you are grazing, then you may have other food issues that need to be addressed. I'm not an expert, but I would think a doctor's visit is in order. You can't make things better without communicating to the surgeon. Take care and be well! Joanie

I agree with everything everyone else said. Also, I have many friends who have had the banding instead of the bypass like I had. They are all meeting their demons as we all are. One of my banded friends found out she could eat chocolate without any problems if she just let it melt in her mouth. she had a dark ring around her lips all the time and lost very little. While I'm not perfect. I have a cookie addiction, for the first 3 years after my surgery i lacked any thought of eating anything other than what i was suppose to. I don't know what they did but I swore they did a lobotomy not a gastric by pass. Then hunger came back. then cravings came back. now i'm battling both of those together hunger and cravings. AND top it off with being able to eat more than I could before plus a larger amount of foods that use to make me ill no longer do that. this is a battle that I will and have been fighting my whole life and it looks like its not going to end. but my pouch will work if i keep at it. and i have to I NEED to excersize. When I have that in my program I do good. I then can eat more and lose cause it gets worked off. So. I swear to now work even harder at what I am suppose to do. \eat right and excersize and I am also going to listen to what everyone here says and make that doctors appointment tomorrow for my check up! god bless

Write it down!!!! If you see what you're eating in black and white, it really makes you stop and think about what you're eating. Studies have shown that people who diary their food, even if they are not eating, lose weight. You've gotten good advice here, but my strongest advice would be to write what you bite. Hang out with us and we'll all struggle together. Connie

Hello dear Jo, my heart goes out to you - and I applaud your courage in coming here and reaching out - good for you! I sense that you are "isolating" in your pain and anxiety about your weight and what you are perceiving for yourself as failure. You are feeling an awful lot of negative feelings, Jo (jealousy, fear, etc.) - and those feelings alone will prevent anyone from succeeding at anything! So, first step: think of yourself as a shiny new quarter and FLIP YOURSELF OVER, just toss yourself into the air and flip over and over until you land on your other side - your POSITIVE side! Now, you will say "I see that the lap band worked for other people and I need to understand why so that I can make it work for me, too!" INSTEAD OF "I am so jealous of those of you who were able to make this work for you." Now, you will say, "I must see my surgeon and express my concerns so that he will be sure to provide a fill that will not make me throw up, or make me eat all the time," INSTEAD OF "I am scared to see a dr...because I am afraid they will give me one..." That's your first step. FLIP YOURSELF OVER AND LAND ON YOUR OTHER SIDE. You've got to see the surgeon. You've got to get a fill. That's the whole point of the lap band. To not follow-up and do it right is to SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE FOOT. To not follow-up appropriately is to sabatoge your own success. And if you are doing that, you need to ask yourself WHY. What purpose is it serving to stay significantly overweight? Have you thought about seeing a therapist? There are so many avenues of help for you - the worse thing you can do is to stay isolated and DO NOTHING. That is simply unacceptable. We're all struggling, Jo. And every day that serves up a new struggle for any one of us is another day of celebrating the incredible inner-strength that lies within each and every one of us. Yourself included. God bless, Maureen P.S. The next time you post, and I hope it is soon - I look forward to an update about how you've followed through on the great advice offered by everyone here! Looking forward to it! M.