I Couldn't do It

Mervyn's had a screaming clearance sale today and I went to browse. Things were 70% off and then I had a coupon for another 20% off. Couple of pairs of capris for dirt cheap and then I found the greatest pair of pants... in a size 16. I scoured and scoured and scoured the racks for a smaller size and couldn't find one. I finally took them into the fitting room and prayed they'd fit and prayed they wouldn't. They didn't. I figured that at 70% off, I could take them and get them altered and it would still cost me less than normal price for a great pair of slacks that were custom fit. I put them back on the rack. I just couldn't bring myself to buy an article of clothing larger than what I wear. It's crazy, I know, but I didn't want that label in my pants. Totally irrational and completely whacked, but I felt that if I bought those pants, I'd be sliding backwards. When I had this surgery 4 years ago, I set a goal for size 12 and I swore to myself that I'd never again buy a size larger than a 12 and I haven't. Thanks to all of you for the birthday wishes. It was a strange day, not bad, but just strange. Now where in the heck has that Reenie gone again? Love and Hugs, Connie

Good For You!! My only wish is that I could get even close to that Size 12 you can!! Have a good day. Ladybug Marilyn

I can absolutely relate to that. I will NEVER buy anything larger than a 12, and even that kills me when stuff runs small. I'm usually a 10 although some things I have are 8's. It ain't gonna happen. Reenie went to spend a week with Jillian in Canada. I hope she's busy having fun. Take care, Joanie PS- did the same thing at Macy's. Bought a slew of stuff. Nothing over a 10. whew.

Over 3 years ago after putting on my first size 10's ever in my whole life (I think I was born with a BMI of 40 wearing a size 20) Like Scarlet Ohara I stood in the dressing room of Kohl's arm raised tears in my eyes swearing "As god is my witness I shall never buy a size bigger than a 10 AGAIN!" Now 20 pounds heavier struggling to lose, going down 7 pounds then up 2 fighting the battle daily over and over again every single day.... I bought a loose size 14. SOB Please forgive me! The buttons on the 10's wouldn't meet the zipper wouldn't budge. After much struggling and a broken nail the button on the 12's worked but I had a muffin top to end all muffin tops it wasn't just a muffin top it was a friggin birthday cake for 100 people. The 14's were big. I'm trying to tell myself it was the "fit" or the "cut" of the pants but the truth of it is I've gained. I'm no longer a size 10. I have to dress nice for my job I have to look a certain way. I'm in the public eye every single day. I had no choice when things start to wear out and there is a sale I need to buy what fits. I'm working hard every day to loose this extra weight. I'm trying just as hard not to beat myself over the gaining. I will never give up the fight to loose. I will always work as hard as I can to win this battle. I WILL WEAR MY SIZE 10'S AGAIN!

Here I am, sweetie-pie! Yours is the post of the poster-children of the post-4+years outers...makes sense? Does to me cuz I'm a bit warped. But here we are, a long ways off of our surgeries and struggling, mightily - but doin' it t'gether -- and that says a lot! M.

Happy Belated Birthday! I don't blame you one bit. If I gain weight or am not where I want to be I refuse to buy any clothes at all. I'm finally going down again thank God! But I know how you feel! Elizabeth M