Big Surprise-Back in San Diego!!!!

Hi my March Friends O.K so a the 5 & 6th I moved 5 houses down from where I was, 1 week later Billy decided to go postal on Me & tried to Kill Me & I had to give up my Dogs, quit my job & come back to San Diego for my safety & sanity. I did see the other Bill before leaving & he was extremely sorry this all happened but was glad I was getting out of the volitle situation as well. Time will tell if I see him again or not.( he's the married Man, remember) We were gettig along very well & I really think that had a lot to do with Billy going postal. I wasn't being anything but a roommate with him anymore & he got too jealous after we moved. I really thought he was going to hurt Me & that is when he left me no choice as to come back to San Diego. The hard part & I will never forgive him for this one is having to give up my dogs. My mom would not let me bring them here this time. They went to a no kill adoption place, but, it was still the hardest thing I have ever had to do. They will never understand why I did that & will probably end up killing Bear. He is such a baby, it will take me awhile to adjust to not having them around. I cried for over an hour as I was packing my car. Anyway, I am doing O.k already looking for a new job & Mom is glad that I am back. 5 months in AZ & not good months at all. I am done with AZ accept to go get Bill, if he really leaves his wife. We'll see on that one. Not holding my breath. If it is meant to be He will come here to San Diego & I won't have to go back to AZ. Sorry Connie One more chapter of my sorry, crazy life closed. Thanks for listening to me ramble I am safe & Thank God for Mom's Ladybug Marilyn

marilyn; hugs and prayers to you...it is hard to give up our animals however your own safety is utmost important. i am going thru "stuff" with michael again and i am starting to plot my leaving and wondering how to factor my dog and cat in there! be safe girl...the rest will fall into place! sending marcher love!

Thanks Margo!! The drugs have fried his brain & I never knew from one day to the next if he was going to be O.K or not. When he was high, he was a totally different person & very angry & hateful person was there. He is addicted to Meth & will most likely kill him as he has no idea what it is doing to him. I am safe & that is the important thing. Take care of you, as well. O.K. Ladybug Marilyn

Marilyn, No offense taken at all. Sounds like a fresh start away from Arizona is just what you need. The weather is much better in San Diego anayway. Heck, I'd probably move to SD if I could manage it. Marilyn, this is said with nothing but love and concern, but your "Man Picker" is broke. First there was Billy's brother the alcoholic, then Billy the Meth addict and now a married man. When will you understand that you deserve better than that? You can't save these men and they can't do anything for you. You're being used. I know you're out of work right now, but is there a counseling agency that can help? Your self-esteem could use a remodel before you get out there on the dating market again. Please take care of you and know that you are too valuable and important to let people use and abuse you. Welcome to a new beginning. Hugs, Connie

Yup, It's back to taking care of ME for a change. I have let things get way out of hand for too long. I have already signed up for the SD jobs online service & things are already looking more positive. The brothers are for sure out of my life. I am back to walking & already lost 4 lbs in 4 days. So Stress was not a good thing for me at all. Love ya Ladybug Marilyn

Marilyn, I'm happy to hear that you are back in SD with your mom, I think that's a good place for you for starts. As Connie said, this is said with nothing but concern for you, but you have to get off of this toxic merry go round that you're riding. Active addicts and married men? You are a grown woman...what were you thinking? You deserve so much more than this. A lot of us told you before when you were with Billy, then you get rid of him and go to a married man. No good can ever come from that. What kind of job are you looking for? Can you take some courses through your county for job training in something that interests you? Can you align yourself with people that are more worthy of even being around you? Every now and then we all need to work on ourselves...to better ourselves. Perhaps you can find a therapist to help you work on yourself...the best gift you can ever give yourself is a good therapist. Maybe, until you work on yourself and get your self esteem up, you should stay out of the dating scene. You are better off alone than in a toxic relationship. Take care of yourself, Marilyn. Be well, and love yourself. Joanie

Thanks Joanie, I am done with Men for awhile & working on Me. I have been through worse, I will be fine!! Ladybug Marilyn

Marilyn, a man cannot make you happy only you can do that!! So, just live one day at a time and be happy with yourself. I married two drunks and divorced two drunks!! I dated some big time losers, too. I finally decided that a man was never going to be in my life and stayed single and dated very little for 27 years!! All my friends and family were continuely trying to fix me up and I would say no!! Then 10 years ago my sister just set up a dinner date with her and her husband and Charles and me, I got so mad at her, but now I'm not mad at her. I have been happily married for 10 years! I had known Charles since I was about 8 years old and I knew he was the kind of man I could live with. We had gone to church together for 40 years! I had known his wife all my life and I was there when she had her babies and I knew them all their lives. She was 10 years older than me and I was about 10 she would let me and Charles sister ( who was my best friend) hold her babies and we felt so grown up!! When she died suddenly it was a shock to everybody. He was lonely and had not dated in 42 years, so he was kinda lost and just want somebody to go to dinner with him or go to a gospel singing some time, he didn't want to get married and I sure didn't intent to get married, but we went out and were married in 10 weeks!! So, don't look for a man and one might just be living up the road from you that is a great guy!! Glad you're away from Billy. Love ya, Judy

Marilyn, so sorry you went through all that pain. You did the right thing. Start fresh and new. Forget about those men and take care of you. Meth is the worst! i'm so glad you got away from that situation. hang in there and my prayers are with you. Elizabeth M