Moments of Clarity

Anyone have moments of clarity, that in your mind you are thinking about how healthy and fit you want to be. You get the certain feeling that you CAN do it! For example. In my mind I was thinking...there is so much I want to do with my son this summer...go kayaking and swim parks and all of this extra physical stuff that, if I lost the weight, would be so much more comfortable doing. Then boom...in my head I have sooo mu*****entive, I can actually feel how happy I would be to do it and how fun it would all be, I have the will power and everything. Then the next day...poof. Gone. Why can't I hold onto that feeling? That strength and incentive? I've asked God that plenty of times. It's like...how can I want it so bad one minute and have the power to do it then the next its just gone? Its not like I don't want to loose the weight, its like it just fades away. Almost as if monotany of life gets in the way and clouds my dream?? Make sense?? And its not even anything bad or big that coulds the vision, just every day mundane things. I guess that's my hurdle to overcome in life. Stick to it no matter what. Darnit! I'm trying!!!! Right now I'm craving and wanting to eat everything! But I am resisting! I will go to taco bell for lunch for my beans and be content with it. I did good last night. Had my beans and beef jerky. Didn't loose any more weight but thats OK. I still resisted the sweet stuff. There were cookies in the house!!! Chocolate Chip and vanilla sandwhich... there was also bryers chocolate ice cream and cherry vanilla ice cream. So DARNIT I think i did darn good resisting!! Elizabeth M

I've got to get ready for a doctor's appt. but this is a GREAT QUESTION, I want to give it careful attention so will respond thoughtfully tonight. For now, you are not alone! Try sticking to Connie's theme of "what fills you up" - your vision for your future is beautiful! But 'lizbet, don't deny yourself this quality of life now just because you think you fall short of some sort of physical ideal - you deserve to live this dream NOW. And guess what -- your beautiful, glorious children...your son deserves it NOW as well. You're carrying a little bit of extra weight, sweetie - not like before the surgery, and even then, we all deserved a full and vibrant life. Just today, right now, fill that void with something that is powerful and passionate and feeds your soul - get a little crazy, have a blast, this is what I call it: LIVE ABOVE THE BASELINE. I'll check in later. Love, Maureen

You're right of course and I was thinking the same as I was typing. BUT as far as going to a swim park... I would definitely take my son of course and let my husband take him around. But there is NO way I would get in a bathing suit in front of a park full of people. Just isn't happening!!! a quite beach in north carolina...yeah ok. But a water park? No way in H.E. double hockey sticks! 'sigh' its sad really, but my body is SO messed up. BUt you're right...I DO need to get out there and do some of the stuff now! But eating crappy and doing it and eating right to achieve a goal and still doing it seems so HARD to keep in my head! its all about the eating right. Oh... I had brought in some sugar free candy into the office. Many of the ladies playfully made fun of me and laughed at my silly diet ways (haha) they wanted the bad stuff all the way! While a couple of others were like OH GOODY! because some people love the idea of a nice sugar free snack. Needless to say, I had too many sugar free chocolates and will not be doing that again! welp, at least they were sugar free! Thats my friday treat for loosing 6 pounds. There. Rectified right? The rest of the night I cannot cheat since I already had my treat. Right? Right. (so hard!) Elizabeth M

You are putting A LOT of pressure on yourself. Maybe it's me, I don't know. We don't have cookies in the house. No one needs them. Want something sweet? Eat fruit because I ain't buying junk. Want ice cream? Have one of these weigh****chers treats or something. But don't expect me to buy ice cream. No one needs it. Yes, I have kids and a man. But no one needs junk. Fat, skinny, young, old....no one. Sometimes it seems that we just think too much. One day at a a time. One meal at a time. Healthy, balanced meal. Trigger food? Don't buy it....OR.....buy it, eat the whole thing, mark you calendar. Don't buy it again for SIX MONTHS. Just do it to get it out of your system, and then move on. Live life. Take a walk. Smell the clean fresh air. I don't know...maybe I'm making it sound too simple. But...nothing worth anything is easy, right? Best Wishes, Joanie

Joanie! You are so right, nothing worth anything is easy. I'm ok with ice cream in the house. I like it but its not one of my...oh my gosh i need it so bad things. That would be cookies. or potato chips. Ice cream I could take it or leave it most of the time. I did have a canoli yesterday and got that out of my system. That is after I gain the one pound from eating it! 'sigh' but it was my cave in. I know, I have to just get out more! do more things. Not buy junk. I try not to but its hard when the husband and so wants certain things. I think I'm doing good right now though when it comes to being able to avoid food. I did pretty good over the weekend. I ate just a little more than during the week, but it was all protein foods. Not sugar, aside from the canoli. I just wish my mind would get into the swing of things. I just want it so bad and wish I could keep that mindset instead of letting the mundane things of everyday life creep in and take over! You know, belive it or not... it is simple. Just don't eat junk and eat less! But simple is sometimes so hard. go figure.