demons

As everyone knows cookies are my food demon. Yesterday I was out on the road doing my job. sell sell sell in the Heat no less! I did not feel like selling they did not feel like buying but it wasn't a terrible day I did do some good sales that will help my customers. Anywho...I got hungry at the end of the day. It was real hunger but I was out of my snacks. I didn't want to stop at a fast food place there were no grocery stores at hand so the closest place was a ocean state job lot. They will have nuts or sometimes protein bars. I went in and what do I see but my favorite!!!! Chocolate animal crackers! Only 150 calories for 16 cookies! Along with one gram of protein and the sugar content is 5 grams. What a deal! They could work if I didn't have them at the top of my food demon list. I know I should have gotten the cashews. I know I should have picked up the protein bar. I would have been better off if I'd run over to Mickey D's and gotten a small soft serve ice cream cone! But NooOOOooo I picked up the evil chocolate animal crackers. Thats when I did the next stupid thing... After I paid I went out to my car and knowingly opened the bag and started eating. I didn't count out my portion NooOOOoooo i just started in eating! Let me tell you 3 handfuls do not equal 16 cookies. Those little suckers are small. I'm sure I got in 2 portions. Before I over came my drunkin cookie grazing and put the bag in the backseat out of reach. The plan was to throw them away once I made it to a trash can. I do not I do NOT toss things out my window! I forgot about them. That was a good thing. Then later that night after I got home. AFter taking the dog out. After having a healthy dinner. I went out to the car to clean it out and make it fresh for the next work day. when what do I find but the bag of chocolate animal crackers calling me! They had fallen on the floor still wrapped up tight and were waiting for me. I actually felt a tingle of anticipation! Cooooookies! I grabbed the bag and headed into the house. The old feelings of gotten get in where no one can see me eat these over came my sensibilities. The first step in the door and I had a handful. Munched my way into the kitchen where horror over came me. Before I could think I opened up the cupboard door and emptied the bag into my trash then I scrapped the dog food left over by my smart dog who knows when to stop eating right on top of all those yummy chocolate animal crackers. I'm not a dump diver but you never know when 3am in the morning comes and those rotten evil demon chocolte animal crackers start calling me. I feel I had a strong moment there. Ok so I'm successful at 4 weeks of not buying decaf coffee 3 to 4 times a day at dunkin donuts. (I do treat myself to a medium on the weekends but thats One a day ) my bankbook is liking my success with this too. At this point I have an additional 100 bucks cause I put in the money I might have spent into my savings account. Gonna try to keep that going too! I think it could one day equal up to a tank of gas! Note the sarcasm but hey thats another posting. this one is about cookies and success. So. I'm pleased I tossed my cookies (huh?) and didn't eat the whole bag. I'm glad that I was strong enough to get rid of that demon. At least for one day! My goal for the rest of this week is to not buy cookies. I'm going to take it one week at a time. Like I did for the coffee. I kept reminding myself hey its only a week. I can do a week. And then when the week was over I said to myself that was good lets try it for another week. Hey its only a week! I did tell myself that I could treat myself at the end of the week if I wanted to. It worked for the coffee I'm goign to make it work for the cookies! And I will be sure to pack an extra healthy snack in the trunk of my car so I will not have to make that decision to go buy something. I am successful. what are you successful moments?

I love your honesty. And I love that you have latched onto the success of this "food encounter" rather than viewing the episode as a failure. Good for you, Pam! Maureen

You did good girl! Way to go dumping the cookies! That is always the most impulsive and, in my opinion, best way to quickly avoid temptation. Dump it VERY FAST in the trash. Any little second of hesitation and its all over. Proud of you! It's really hard!!! It took me forever to get to the point I am at right now, which is finally getting it straight and kicking the cookies and bite sized snickers and other little snacks. I am proud of you over that coffee! Because I am having mine now. I was filling my decaf and thinking of you and thought...just a teeny tiny bit of cream. I used milk then just barely topped it off with cream. Soon it will be all milk. Don't think I can go to skim milk. That's just icky. But you never know. I still used the splenda. I will slowly cut down on the packs. I have a big cup and use 5 little packets. Tomorrow I will use 4. I'm proud right now because I've stuck with the smooshy foods so far yesterday all day! Hang in there! You're doing awesome

Pam, did you ever have your 4 year check up with Aranow? Read carefully about the threads on low blood sugar, Nic's issues, etc. Did Aranow address any of this with you as potential complications post-WLS? Maureen

mine never mentioned it. IN FACT! the last time I went to her she asked me if I thought about wls!!! what a blow to my ego!!!! I was like uh...yeah I lost over 100 pounds. ANd she asks me "AND YOU GAINED IT ALL BACK???" I was like NO!!! I weighed 338 pounds!!! SHEESH! She apologized of course and flew through her charts then went to town on me ordering blood work and tests and suggestions and everthing else. Making up for her faux pa. She's a sweetie though despite the oops on her part. She didn't mean it in a nasty way and was a bit embarrassed. Read those charts docs! I doubt she knows about the low blood sugar thing. i'm gonna bring it up to her. I think she's young enough to throw some interest into it. Elizabeth M

Thanks guys for your notes! I can't remember Dr A saying much about different issues that could happen. But I do remember him saying something about low blood sugar could happen. I had it before but always ate so much it didn't bother as much as it does not that I don't eat the volumnes that I use to. I have to say no one put a gun to my head tohave this surgery. I begged for it. I knew there were risks that could happen years after. But I knew there were more risks staying were I was. Dr A was and is an awesome surgeon I would go again if I needed to. Yes there were things I didn't like. But if I had to do it over again I would. And I woudlt' do anythign differently either. I did the best reseearch that I could for what was out there at the time. I went to the support group meetings each week up til the surgery. I continued to go after for many months. I did the doctor visits up til last year. I feel at this point my GP is my best advocate. I have an awesoeme one who goes the extra 20 miles for me. If I call with a question she gets me the answers and will call me back at 9pm if need to be make me feel better. My only wish is that it, the cravings came back and had continued in my head about the dam cookies! argggggggg Can I schedule a lobotomy???

I thinkyou did good, as well!! We all fight deamons all the time & most cases they win. So getting past it & knowiwng what & how you handles it is better than just eating them away. Ladybug Marilyn