I Hung In There

This has been the crappiest weekend I've had in a long, long time and I'm happy to say that I hung in there and didn't eat my way through it. I stuck to three meals a day with complex carbs. Didn't eat a single chip or any chocolate. Didn't binge, didn't over eat. I just made myself eat by the clock. Yesterday morning I woke up to find a strange dog in my living room. It barked and growled at me as I went to the kitchen and my dog attacked it. Good Rufus. I got a leash on the dog and took it over to my neighbors to see if it belonged to them. Sure enough it did. Damned dog had gotten on top of their shed and then went over the wall and through my dog door. I took a shower and came out to find the damned dog in my house again. I took it back and gave the neighbor a little hell because the dog peed on my Belgian carpet and chased the cats. They assured me they'd take care of it. Went to a party with The Man's family and found out that his mother has stopped eating. Lots of drama with his sister, lots of drama with his brother and sister-in-law. Not a good time. On the way home, I ran over a white cat in the road. The cat was already dead, but it freaked me out and I couldn't shake the feeling of my car going over it. Got home and walked into the kitchen to find my cat Runtley dead on the floor in a pool of blood. I ran to the neighbors' and banged and sobbed and banged and sobbed until they came to the door. Sure enough, their dog had gotten loose, and killed Runtley. They tried to get into the house to stop it, but couldn't. Their 13 year old son was almost as attached to Runtley as I was and saw it happen through the kitchen window. Rufus fought with the damned dog and did some damage, but couldn't stop her from killing poor Runtley. The neighbors cleaned everything up, buried Runtley, wrote a poem for him and are going to put the dog down since this is the second cat she's killed. I think that the dog probably is responsible for the $1,000 vet bill I have from my other cat's surgery last week. I started to try to talk them out of putting the dog down, but The Man stopped me and told them in no uncetain terms that they were going to get rid of the dog. It's not a matter of the dog killing cats in it's own territory, the dog is now hunting and killing outside of its own yard. In fact, The Man offered to do the job himself, but I didn't want their son Nick to hear the gun shot. Instead of eating my way through this, I planted a garden. I took Margo's lead and decided to garden to occupy my hands, if not my mind. It was tough because Runtley loved to lay in the yard and supervise when I was working on the patio. Anytime I was outside, he would follow me around. So I dug and sobbed and dug and sobbed all day. It's a small patch with herbs and tomatoes and an artichoke plant. A perfect runt of a garden, just like my runt of a cat.

O Connie my heart goes out to you. I'm very sad to hear of all that you've gone through this week and the loss of your dear cat.

i'm glad to see you shared here cuz i wanted to reach out to the marchers so much with this....... you know how i feel about all of this connie...runtley would be proud and honored to know what you have done. more hugs and love to you......

I'm so, so, so sorry. The image of you sobbing over the creation of Runtley's Garden is heartwrenching. The image of The Man being so supportive and taking the lead when you had nothing left to give to the situation is heartwarming. You've got a good one there. Take care of each other. And let him take care of you right now. And I'm so damned proud of you for not trying to sooth your pain with food - it never works anyway, does it? While putting the dog down won't bring Runtley back, it will assure that no other cat will die by her attacks again - you need to keep your other beloved pets safe. Be well, Connie, warm and strong hugs to you - and to The Man. Love, Maureen

This breaks my heart, I love animals and I know how bad it hurts for one to die. But yours was murdered!! I can tell how much you love you animals , so I know they all have a good home and you need to think about how lucky Runtley have been to be yours. My thoughts are with you! Judy

Oh my gosh....poor baby Runtley. I felt so bad after reading this. You know, some upsetting situations are beyond the eating thing. I think I would not have even been able to eat. I have my cats....my Felix...he's my 'little old man'....and my new baby, Penny Marie. I can't imagine anything ever happening to them like that. But, as always, you handled it beautifully, making the little garden in Runtley's honor. Hopefully, it was theraputic for you, and it's a great way to memorialize him and celebrate his life. I am so sorry you had to go through that. My thoughts and prayers are with you and little Runtley. And bless Rufus for being so brave. Joanie

How are you doing today??? Just wanted you to know I'm thinking about you...M.

I'm doing better, Maureen. I spent last night working in the yard and doing a little bit of crying, less than Monday. I hadn't been able to look at Rufus since this happened. Nick told me that Rufus tried to stop the melee, but what if he participated? What if Nick was wrong? Rufus barks at strange cats in the yard, what if this was the incentive he needed to attack and he attacked Runtley along with the beast from next door? I decided that I would put Rufus down if I found that he had participated because I'd never be able to trust him around the other two cats or anybody's cats. I took a deep breath, hugged him and started searching through his fur for cat scratches. The other dog is pretty scratched up so if Rufus participated in the attack, he'd probably be scratched up too. Not a scratch. I hugged Rufus and cried until he couldn't stand it anymore, wiggled out and licked my face mercilessly. I don't think they have gotten rid of the dog yet. At least they haven't told me they have. If they don't, I'll have to pursue it through legal avenues. Thanks for asking, Maureen. You probably didn't expect to get a book back. Love ya, Connie

I love your books, even the ones with the painful endings. I think there must be a sure-fire story in how your pets got their names, the way only you can tell it...when you feel up to it, ok? So I'm looking at my cats last night and thinking, "Which one of you should I put in a crate and fly to Connie in Arizona?" You'd get a kick out of either of them. Ginger is the mom, I brought her home for Devin's 7th birthday (he's 14 now and has always hated her) after passing a "Free Kittens" sign on the road. Ginger's baby is Arlie Cleo - named after the stock character from 14th century theatre, "Arlechino" because she has a perfect black mask across her eyes and nose. Ginger is neurotic and needy but she can't stand to be held, or at least picked up - once she's forced to settle in your arms she relaxes. She has a barely there purr that says just enough - while Arlie is exactly the opposite - very vocal and demanding and can't get enough attention. She is my shadow when she's indoors, but very independent minded and is outdoors most of the time. We didn't know Ginger was pregnant before she turned a year old - just popped those kittens out in Jillian's closet one morning - she was fixed after those kittens were weaned and we didn't wait too long to do likewise with Arlie. I can't say I love them to pieces - I'm not attached the way I was with Sophie, my collie. She was my heartbeat. I enjoy petting these girls and they are certainly a part of our family's history. But just say the word, Connie, tell me which one you want and if it will make you feel better in any way, I'll ship one of them to you! I hate when you're sad but I know you have to feel what you're going through in order to move on. Give Rufus a squeeze for me, he sounds precious...be well, Connie. M.

Divine Ms. M, Thank you so much for the offer, but I have to pass. My oldest female cat, Stinky, would just hate me. She loved Runtley, but hates Maisey as it is. If I brought home another cat, especially a female, I'm afraid that she would leave. I can't see getting another cat for a long, long while. You know, I've had animals since I was a baby and I don't think I've ever lost one to anything other than old age. Hmmm... Anyway, Thanks for the offer, thanks even more for the support and caring so much. I truly love your warm and wonderful heart. Hugs, C.