BIg Mess!!

HI All I am Not pregnant after-all, but, now my life is upside down as Billy is still ticked & Not talking don't know if he will come back around or not. I know we were not ready for anything like that, but, this may have completely sent him flying. We will see!! I still have no money & being evicted on top of all this mess so don't have a clue what is happening in this week. Later Marilyn

Whew, that's good news. Ok, Marilyn, some tough talk here from the heart - take what works and leave the rest and know this comes from a very good place of love and concern. You are devoting way too much energy on 'external' living - people and cir****tances. You've got to let go of this relationship with this man, at least until you can sort out your own life--and concentrate fully on taking care of yourself. Eviction? I thought you had a new job? What's going on? Where are the dogs? You need to CENTER, girlfriend. You've got a lot going on that needs your immediate and thoughtful attention. When we start living our lives for other people--or when we define our own self worth by how we think others feel about us--there's nothing good that ever comes of that, ever. That's it, I'm done. Be well. Maureen

I do have a job, but have only gott 1 paycheck in the last month & it was 250 dollars,. My landlord has been very good with me but is losing patients & want her back rent. I am trying to get a lona for the help but with really crappy credit no one will help me & in this town their is only one time a month they will help with rent & I missed it till next month. I have had way too much stress for 1 week & Am losing it big time. The Billy thing will either work out or it won't but right now I just need to work on getting my roof over my head worked out. My dogs are still with me. Just a little panic attack. Everybody wants money right now & don't have any, so it just gets over welming. Sorry about the crappy attitude. No sleep today & going crazy. Marilyn

Marilyn, a couple of things.... First of all, not being pregnant is a good thing, and although it is possible at 54, it isn't likely. Count your blessings with that one. Secondly, why did you move back to AZ? Do you have family there? Where is your mom? Hasn't she helped you in the past? Didn't you have a job where you lived previously? Are you making enough money to support yourself in AZ? Your dogs---are they big dogs or little dogs? Can you afford them? Thirdly, eviction is a process that takes a while. Go to your local county office and look into renters rights. Actually, here in NJ, landlords are required by law to give you a booklet explaining your rights as a renter. Did you sign a legally binding lease with this person? Perhaps you can work something out with your landlord where starting next month, you pay extra rent until the back rent is paid off. Getting a loan isn't going to help if you aren't going to have the money to pay it back. Fourth, I am hoping you didn't move to AZ just to be with this Billy character. After reading what you wrote about him in the past, he certainly does not seem worthy of you. You mentioned previously that everything has to be on his terms, and that there is really not a dating relationship there, rather you said the sex was good. You deserve someone who is going to spend time with you, take you out, love you and take care of you, as you take care of him. I know these are tough questions and statements. But I see a warm, loving, caring person who is getting into a pattern that isn't good. It looks like you did a lot of moving and job hopping for men who were not worthy of you. Perhaps you need to be in a place where you have a support system of friends and family who can help you. I hope you don't hate me after reading this, but I only wrote it because I care about what happens to you. I wish I could be as diplomatic as Maureen, but, well, that's just me I guess. Marilyn, take care of yourself! Joanie

what she said!!!!!!!!!!!!!! marilyn..wow-- i know you had to have been really screwed up emotionally last week/weekend...now--go forward...take care of marilyn... easy for me to say--i live my life for what goe son with michael--and i know better but right now it is what i am doing... what is with eviction??????where did that come from??? this is all said with love as reenie said above!

Easier said then done, read my post to Reenie. I am just a big mess right now & need sleep. It will look better tomorrow I am sure. MY dogs are fine & still with me. Thank God for that, right now they are the only good thing going. Marilyn

i don't see a crappy attitude--i see someone who is working hard to keep her life straight and has had way too much go wrong the last few years- btdt-you know i am serious when i say that i understand...and i wish that there were something that i oculd do from here-i am keeping my cell phone off cuz i can't stand listening to the bill collectors call..so i can relate- marilyn , i know that you have faith in God and i am going to say turn it over to Him. i know, easy for me to say...get some sleep and just try to keep your cool--the billy thing will work out if it is meant to be.... big hugs to you!!!!

yea, not a fun time. i'm not gonna tell you what to do cause i just do not know. what i do know is right now you've got hard things to deal. Money is a nightmare for everybody right now. i'm looking at an oil tank fill of $778 when I still owed $150 from the last one with no idea where I'm gonna pull that out of my budget. And do I need to talk about gasoline prices? I drive for a living! Dont get me started. Men. One three letter word takes like what a second to say but can drive ya nuts for years! I know I dont' need to tell you that no matter how much you might care for him and how much he might say he cares for you and even though a unplanned extremely surprise preganancy would scare you 1/2 to death the walking out not hearing from him to let you sit and worry without a word to you to handle that worry and fear all by yourself - I know that says alot without saying anything now doesn't it? I'm glad that the preganacy fear is over. Isn't that a relief?!?! Your strong you've been through worse than this and come out ok. I know you'll be ok. Still and as always your included in my prayers. good luck and god bless

Hi Pam, I laid awake most of the night worrying about the price of gasoline in CT; Jim and I both commute to our jobs, we are facing $500-$600 a month just to put gas in our cars just to get to work weekly. I'm so scared. We filled our oil tank three times this winter at over $700 each fill - it's going to be much worse next winter. I really don't know what we're going to do. EXCEPT GET THE DAMNED REPUBLICANS OUT OF OFFICE. Maureen

Marilyn, I can't tell you what to do about Billy, because I'm so mad at him!! I don't know him , but to walk out mad because you thought you were pregnant does not say anything good about him. There are good men out there , I know they are few and far between , but at 50 years old I married a wonderful man. I was married to two creeps before I married Charles and I stayed single for 27 years after the second divorce. So, what I'm saying here is don't settle for just a man. You deserve a GOOD man. You are in my prayers. Judy