Today is my anniversary
Four years ago today I had my surgery. I feel like such a failure. Just another diet gone down the drain!! Four years ago I was a size 24 or 26 , Two years ago I was a size 12, now I'm back to a size 18!! Every morning I say I'm going to get back on track and lose the weight I've gained.(35 pounds). plus the other 19 I wanted to lose, that I didn't . I start out with only protein and then I eat lunch and supper and do the protein and green veggies. Then I get up in the middle of the night and eat anything I can find. I usually don't keep anything in the house with sugar, but I'll fix toast with splenda and cinnamon on it!! Anything for a sugar fix!!! I'll get the Atkins bars and eat them for breakfast and then if I have any left I'll eat them in the middle of the night. I'm thinking about buying my Atkins bars and leaving them with my sister and let her give me one a day!! She is not a foodaholic. She is a size 4. So I know I wouldn't have to worry about her eating my stuff!! I want to thank all of you that have tried to encourage me this last four years. And Renee, thanks for checking on me last week. Today I'm going to start again and try to do my best not to over eat on the junk food I love so much!! Even though I've gained I'm not sorry I had the surgery, I wood do it again. Thanks for listening to me complain!! Judy
Judy you are certainly not alone. I haven't been on this board in 1 to 2 years and just decided today to see if there are other people having similar problems to my own. I also had my surgery 4 years ago and in the past 2 years I have gained 25 lbs. I think it was very easy to fall back into bad habits. Now my weight has been stable for 4 months and I am trying to get off some of the weight I had gained back. I am trying to go back to some of the basics. For instance, I had completely forgotten about not drinking liquids with your meals. I am also trying to eat more consciously and slowly. Don't beat yourself up. You are only human and at least you are working on it. At least you are not a size 28 again.
Judy you are NOT a failure!
WE all have the same things happen to us. That just has to tell all of us that while the surgery was fantastic at helping us there needs to be another thing that happens 2 3 or 4 years down the road. I know that we need to do this and we need to do that but if i was able to do all those things 4 years ago then I woudlt' have needed the surgery. We are only human.
I too get up every single day and start off the day right with the right things to eat. I dont' get up during the night time but lately I have a "snack" before bedtime. One of the worst times to have a snack!
I LOVE the atkins bars and do beleive that I hve transfered my love of sweets to them. I didnt' buy any for the past week and am trying to overcome that addiction.
Hang in there Judy we're all together in this.
Judy
We welcome your anniversary post & NO you are not alone in
this fight. My weight gain seems to be about 35 lbs as well.
I think that is a normal amount according to the WLS Doc's.
We are all still better off than 4 yrs ago. I never got below
that 200 lbs mark, but, feel 10 times better than I did carrying all that 350+ lbs. So give yourself a BIG hug today
& tell yourself you are not a failure. Being addicted to the
Atkins Bars is not a bad thing they are very low-sugar & carry 18 to 20 grams of protein.
Stop beating yourself up that will make your days a lot easier
on you.
Ladybug Marilyn 
Judy, we are what we believe ourselves to be. Our head determines the health of our bodies. If you believe you are a failure there is no convincing you otherwise. If you believe you have the power to turn this around for yourself, then you can and will! Do you have anyone who can help you through this? People who make up your moral support base? You sound to me as if you are really isolating in your head, and that's got to stop. Your first task is to make the commitment - just for TODAY - not to get up and eat in the middle of the night. Don't think about yesterday (last night), don't think about tomorrow - just tonight, commit to restful, purposeful sleep and nothing else. Tomorrow is another day and you can decide for yourself tomorrow what you will do about the next night's sleep. Just do this much. Just take this tiny step. Believe me, I understand food addiction. But it doesn't work. Eating the crap does not make us feel better, does not sooth the negative emotions. What it does do is makes us gain weight. Just do this, just for today - and tell us how you did tomorrow. Love, Reenie
Have you ever tried Meletonin? ZMA? You can get them in the vitamin shop. Meletonin helps you fall asleep, ZMA helps you stay asleep. They are not drugs, but natural things. Perhaps you are waking up hungry because your body needs something you're not giving it? Go over your diet during the day----are you getting enough water? fiber in addtion to the protein? In a word, is your diet balanced? If the Atkins bars are triggering something in you, then don't buy them. I know many people do no/low carb, but perhaps you are not getting enough whole grains or good-for-you carbs. Oh, I do crave junk food at times too...especially potato chips. I buy the fat free ones....not the same, but it keeps me at bay. The only thing we can do is just keep trying and maybe go back to basics....I'm not sure what the answer is.
Oh and by the way. You are not a failure. No one here is. Every single one of us have our issues, but there's not a failure in the group. We know our demons and we face them. We are one brave group.
Take care,
Joanie
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