PROCEDURE SCHEDULED

I have just been scheduled for the endoscopic suture procedure and I am scared! I will be under general anestesia, but it is outpatient; I've been told by the nurse that I will be in a lot of pain, quite similar to the gastric bypass, and that I can expect to be on a liquid diet for two weeks following the surgery. He is going to "tighten" my stoma; I don't know if he is going to make any adjustments to the current size of my pouch. I hope not. What am I doing????? Why am I doing this??? Because I am gaining weight, pretty quickly. I am working out and eating healthily for the most part - certainly not binging like I did before GB. Why am I gaining??? Will this cycle continue for the rest of my life? Are fat people simply destined to be FAT forever? Is it the cell thing, where our fat cells never go away, they just wait impatiently to be filled up again? Will those cells always be laying in wait and so no matter what we eat, we're doomed? Talk me down off this ledge, folks, I'm scared. I'm scared that I will lose too much weight and become ill; I'm scared that something will go wrong, that I'll die. I'm scared of the pain; I'm scared of losing too much weight and I'm scare of gaining too much weight. I want off this roller-coaster! Michael, where are you??? I need you!!! Thanks guys. Reenie

I guess it's hard to realize this, but you are lucky the doctors found a reason for your weight gain, and that it is fixable. You, as always, will be fine, my strong friend. I've never met anyone who is so "in tune" to your body's signals. Take things one day at a time. No one is going to die. Pain? Sheesh...there's meds for that. Get ahold of yourself, girlfriend. As God as my witness, you'll never be fat again. Not to mention you are one of the healthiest, upbeat, positive people I know. Love ya! Joanie

Well, Joanie, I'm crying and I haven't cried in quite a while. Thanks for your very wonderful words of encouargement. Your post means a lot to me, thank you. Reenie

Reenie! I just want to hug you! I think it is powerful to take control of your body and make it work for you I truly do. I consider you to be such a wonderful success story for WLS. YOu are an inspiration to me and many others. I hope that you are able to feel "safe" in your own body soon. HUGS! Nic

Reenie, Oh man I'm right there with ya. The surgeon's office is filing my insurance as we speak I'm scared they will say NO and I'm scared they will say YES. What is the procedure you are having done called?? Think back when we all were scared to death to have the Gastric.........and I think for most of us that turned out to be the best thing we've ever done. This may be the second best thing.......You never know. I speak at a workshop that our "newbe's" have to attend before surgery and I always tell them that the surgery was a cake walk compared to the changes that came after. You have already proven that you are strong enough to handle both!!!! You're just having "Hell week" again (that's what I call the week before surgery or month whatever the case may be) And how does this nurse know how much pain?????? Has she had the procedure done?? You're going to do fine and you'll be on here afterwards telling us all how all this worry was for nothing!!!! Now cut it out and give it to God...................Betsy

Hi Betsy! It's great to see you here! What are you having done? I'm not sure what the procedure is called but this is what I know: I will be under general anestsia. The doctor will snake a stapler device down my throat, into my pouch and to my stoma and will suture the stoma so that the opening is 10 mil., which is what it should be; my stoma currently measures 32 mil. I don't think he is doing anything with the pouch because my understanding is my pouch is still quite small. By closing the stoma, I should be able to retain the food that I ingest in my pouch long enough to absorb the nutrients - which should also make me feel full and not want to overeat. What are you having done? Actually, the nurse I talked to HAS had this procedure done, about a year and a half ago. She had her gastric bypass surgery 7 years ago. She said this procedure is quite painful... "I felt like I had been hit by a truck when I woke up." It was good to talk to someone 7 years out who has kept about 60% of her weight off. She said she didn't lose a lot of weight with this 2nd procedure - about 15 lbs. - but that it really has helped her absorb the food better. Thanks for your good thoughts - I really needed that! Still do! I have such mixed feelings about doing this - like I feel like I'm a failure and why oh why can't I just do this with solid willpower??? All the same feelings I had before my GB surgery. Let us know what you're doing. And keep posting, we need you! Reenie

If anyone on this board is the complete opposite of failure, it's you. You know, I'm kind of surprised at you. Having to have this procedure done has NOTHING to do with willpower. You know this, Reenie. In many ways, this is nothing like the original surgery. Although this nurse had some good information for you, I think she needs a course in bedside manner. You tell a patient they will experience pain after a procedure, you DON'T tell a patient that you felt like you were hit by a truck when you woke up. I think she has you all worked up, and that's not good. This procedure is being done due to a physical defect with the original surgery. This is not...I repeat NOT your fault in any way. I kind of feel like that V8 commercial where they clunk the person in the head for not eating the vegetables. Don't make me drive all the way to Connecticut to clunk you in the head! Tough lovingly yours, Joanie

OK, girl. It's time for the rational side of the brain to seize control of the emotional side! YOU are far from a failure. A failure is a person who neglects taking care of themselves. YOU, on the other hand, have stayed tuned, monitored your behavior and your body state, and have sought answers for things that did not seem right. As a result, you have discovered a physical defect that needs correcting for your body to function properly. I had a hernia a year out of surgery and had to have open surgery to repair. Same thing--no personal failure--stuff just happens. Will it hurt? Well, I never had a surgery that didn't, but you get past it. My guess is that it will not be as bad as the plastic surgery to remove excess skin, but that is just a guess. I just know that if you need it, you will do it and get on past it. It may be painful, but it does not sound as technically complex as RNY, and therefore not as risky. You made the smart decision to go with it. Quit rethinking it! You are a trooper. Hang in there! Joy