Curiouser and Curiouser

Hi gang. Less than two weeks ago, I stepped on the scale to my horror at seeing the numbers 153.5. I haven't been in the 150s in the past three years (have maintained between 140-145 for that long). Thanks to Connie's Challenge, the numbers read 148 this a.m. And I am hell-bent to get to 140, at the very least, by the end of the month. Here's the thing -- I haven't had a dumping episode in 3 years. Now, as I am eating my homemade chicken ceasar salad, everything's closing up! I've pushed myself away from my lunch because of that old sick and painful feeling - can it be that as we lose the weight we've gained, our pouches and stomas begin to reduce in size again? By the way, I have a procedure scheduled for the end of the month to determine the size of pouch and stoma, which will at least provide some answers as to why I am constantly hungry. Will let you know what comes of that. For now, think good and powerful thoughts for me - the M&M's are SCREAMING at my from down the empty hall...this is the time I always get fistfulls, when everyone's gone to lunch...love ya, Reenie

Great Work on the weight loss & STAY AWAY FROM TE M @M"S You CAN do it!! Ladybug Marilyn

Reenie~ I was reading a link you posted a while back about the 5 day pouch test and it talked about slider foods, do you think that perhaps you are doing a drier, more dense proein and that makes you feel fuller or that uncomfortable full feeling??? Once I read that I really tried to think about the food I eat and if I ever get that FULL feeling and I don't. I don't ever eat dry meat, mostly because it hurts me... and I don't like the taste of dry meat (YUCK!) I just wonder what you think about the slider food idea vs. a dry food idea and how it feels in the pouch... ya know...I didn't think you ate candy! (stealing Connie's fake it til you make it idea!) Cause I KNOW I don't eat candy! Nic

R, I have a tough time with chicken unless it is drowning in some sort of sauce. It still gives my pouch a not so happy feeling. I agree with Nic on this one. You did wonderfully this week. You're going to hit your goal in no time at all. Do you have any idea how many calories you're eating a day? I'm trying to figure out how much I'm supposed to be eating. XOXOXO, C.

dry anything makes me not feel good. I avoid it. I love baby carrot sticks but can not eat them without sipping water. i will admit that very rarely and I mean very rarely i do sip with my meals. and i sometimes will have coffee right after i eat when i am out to dinner. its always decaf. i LOVE chicken turkey can't eat it. especailly if it is dry. turkey use to be my favorite. at the holidays when there was turkey i had small amounts with sips of water but i'd rather have the pot roast my sister made instead now. its odd isn't it how even after almost 4 years thats the way i now eat? you'd think there would be more than just my cookie craze that i'd carry over from the "old" ways. go figure. m&m's do not call me but if they are in cookies! watch out! i'll push you all aside for em! i can not get below 170. i hate being 170. i feel fat i feel ugly at 170. please understand that i know there are people here who weigh more than 170. and pleaseeeee understand that for me 170 when i look in the mirror is just as bad as when i was almost 300. i see rolls an rolls that will not go away. the only time that i see that i'm not fat is when i should happen to be in a ladies room with a big mirror and someone who i think is much smaller than me is standing next to me and i really see that i am smaller. i'm wearing a friggin 10! i never thought i'd wear that! but i want the single digit clothing back. wearing it for only a few months wasn't enough. i try and i try but i can not get below the 170. one thing that is good is that at least cause i'm trying to get below the 170 i stay at the 170! i also in the past couple of weeks have taken a good hard look at what i eat. i adjusted it. i had myself convinced that peanut butter was perfect! a great protein! o yes I limited it to only a couple of tablespoons a day! do you have any idea how many calories, fats, sugars, carbs are in those couple of tablespoons a day??? An honestly...those tablespoons were NOT level. They fell over onto the crackers! O yea crackers! is it any wonder I have not gotten below 170??? since I have been honest and gotten rid of every mother loves jiff smooth and creamy i have also lost the 4 pounds i gained over christmas. geeeeeee duhhhhhh maybe...just maybe the peanut butter wasn't good? HA! when will i learn? tonight i didnot feel well. I do believe I am coming down with a bug that (connie I am going to use your terminalogy) "the man" is sick with. I'm kinda sorta seeing someone I use to work with. so i will call him "the man" I like that its much better than giving an exact name. there are eyes watching! hahaha anyways "the man" is sick with a bug and I was feeling pretty smug that I wasn't sick. famous last words. ok so i went to the grocery store to pick up suger free ginger ale to let it get the fizzys out just in case i need something to settle my tummy and some chicken noodle soup the two very good comfort foods. I was pretty proud of myself when I passed every mother loves jiff smooth and creamy but the darn sugar free snackwell shortbread cookies got me. right now i am in denial. i had the allowed serving. i have bundled into several little ziploc snack bags individual serviing packages of those cookies AND I PROMISE YOU ALL RIGHT HERE AND NOW THAT IF I SHOULD DARN TO OPEN UP MORE THAN ONE PACKAGE IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS THAT I WILL IMMEDIATELY OPEN THEM INTO THE TRASH! I am goign to do a connie...I only eat one serviing of cookies. cookies do not own me i own the cookies. i am in constant control of the cookies.

I know why you are hungry all the time. Same reason I am. You are hungry because of your carb consumption, particularly sugar. You are eating M&Ms because you are hungry, which causes a quick rise in blood sugar, followed by a precipitous drop (= hunger). This effectively keeps us eating about every 30 min to an hour. Its what I call the EAT/SLEEP/EAT cycle. I live there. What is sadder than knowing that, is that I know how to fix it but have not done so. The fix is: 3 days with virtually 0 carbs. That means ONLY high protein foods- meat eggs cheese. As much and as often as I want. Then gradually add in vegetables and small amounts of complex carbs. It is the carbs that tend to grab you again, so gradual and small are key. For me, the fats don't trigger the hunger cycle, so I don't worry about that during the 3 day cycle, as long as they are not so greasy that they cause upset. Basically it is the Atkins diet induction routine. It is a miserable 3 days, but suddenly you break free of the insane hunger cycle. The key is planning what to stick in your mouth when the hunger strikes. Maybe I will make some dried beef/cream cheese rollups to have on hand today... Oops, was I talking to you? Somewhere I shifted to preaching to myself. If you can use any of the sermon, go for it! Joy

Ok, Missy, after two days of BINGING on crap, including triple-whammy fistfuls, and I mean multiple trips down the hall to the Evil Dungeon of M&M's Land, I ate and ate and ate the stuff until I was bloated and sick and hating myself so that I left work and ate some more crap food and I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! So, I stopped at the grocery store and stocked up on protein foods and I'm taking you up on your challenge: for the next three days I am off carbs, eating only protein, drinking lots of water, doing my 4 mile walk (which I haven't done in probably three months now), and enjoying my horse and trying to parent my son...this is my map for the next three days. So help me, I am going to turn this around!!! Love ya, Reenie

You go girl! I need to be there with you and wish I wanted it enough. For now, I am cutting off sugar cold turkey. Small steps!

There is a test to tell you the size of your pouch? I'm interested...can you tell me more? I don't know what your doctor told you, but when I had my surgery, my doctor told me to EXPECT to gain 10 to 15 pounds from my lowest weight and then it will stabilize as my eating patterns become more 'normal'. And I think that makes sense. After all, once the pouch settles, your eating patterns change. I am out of work again, my 19 year old daughter has a 'solid mass' in her left breast and is having surgery on wednesday. I am a mess. My eating varies from eating everything in sight to not eating at all....and I was so proud of myself before this happened....I was eating healthy and working out regularly....I haven't been to a weigh****chers meeting since I lost my job. I know that with my daughter, the chances of the lump being nothing are greater than the chances of it being something, but it is stressful none the less. I really want her to be ok, I want a job I love and one that loves me back. Thank goodness I still have a wonderful man....at least something is going right. Love you, Joanie

Joanie, do you feel my arms around you? Isn't life strange how it ebbs and flows, when once we find ourselves in a period of calm, when everything feels as if there is healthy balance, just when we breathe a sigh of relief for the respite, suddenly the rug is yanked out from under and we find ourselves in a free fall and not knowing how or when we're going to land. That's when it all hits at once, one "fire" after another that needs to be put out. That's when our mettle is most tested. The fact that you can find something wonderful and positive to hold onto right now - your relationship with your husband - is testament to your mettle. I am in awe of you. My eating patterns mirror yours when I am in a downward spiral. You will bounce back. You will find your way - and you and your daughter will be the better for whatever you need to face together. Please, PLEASE let us know the results of her surgery. You are in my prayers, my dear friend. Be well - take a walk today if you can, I just got back from mine and it was so refreshing to be out in nature...the sun is shining, the air is practically balmy, try and find a few minutes alone for yourself. Love you back, Reenie